A few last minute Christmas gift ideas for husbands:

Write him a book: The great thing about this idea is that you don’t actually have to write a whole book…your husband probably won’t read it anyway. Just write a few pages, dedicate the book to him, and then paste those pages into some romantic book like “Lady and the Tramp”. A new book cover and you are ready to go.

The Sleep Inducer: What! You haven’t heard of this? Well here is the link: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-4b

Coupon booklet: If you have children they have probably made you a few of these, but basically you just write a few “coupons” for housework or other things. The great thing about this gift is that after Christmas, your hubby will leave this book lying around somewhere. Before he gets a chance to cash the coupons in, just hide the book. Your husband will not want to get into a fight about how he could have lost the book you worked so hard on, so he will probably not even mention that it is missing.

A blow up doll: Not that kind…you and your dirty minds. One of those things that you blow up and then punch…it’s like a punching bag, but cheaper and easier to wrap. They come in all sorts of characters like Mickey Mouse and Sponge Bob. Your hubby needs something that he can take his frustrations out on and it can be a great workout.*

Bows: One of the great things about Christmas is that you can slap a bow on something and it suddenly becomes a gift. Bows can be conveniently stuck to almost anything that your husband seems to enjoy…guns, tv, money, body parts, etc.

Merry Christmas and Good Luck!

*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.

Grandma Got Runover By Some Rain Gear: Illustrated Version

I think this is the favorite out of my remade Christmas songs, so I thought I’d make some pics to go with it. Now, please don’t be too harsh on the drawings, they are just for fun. Real…Karaoke Grandma got …

Up On The Housetop: Do it yourself guide.

Real  Up on the housetop you better not pause    You’re not really Santa Claus. Down through the chimney you just might fall    If you stop to admire lights you put up tall.   Oh, oh, oh! There you go.   …

Jingle Bells: And Other Noisy Toys

Real - These things are better if you sing them to the tune of the real song. Went shopping on Black Fri.    I got a bunch of toys Passed up the drum set my kid wants   Cause I didn’t …

Frosty The Stoned Man

Here is a real version, and here is one for you to karaoke with my new lyrics to. Frosty the stoned man    Was a jolly happy soul, With a silver pipe and a runny nose    And eyes so red …

Santa Baby (Mom Version)

If you have not heard this song go to: This Link and hear the real thing first. If you’re familiar with the song, please open this link (or a similar karaoke version of the song) and listen while inserting the following words: …

All I Want for Christmas is Some Apple Stock

Sis, this post is for you! Before you all start thinking I’m selling out… I am…but it’s ok…another great blogger sold out: http://badlandsbadley.wordpress.com/tag/mcdonalds/.   All I want for Christmas    Is some Apple stock My sister really    Likes to talk. …

New Name

Link Fanher Baker won, so my new pen name will be L.F. Baker. When you see this on an upcoming controversial novel I may, or may not, have written it. Thanks for your help.

What do you call a blogger who wants to write?

What do you call a blogger who wants to write? A rejection waiting to happen.

If you are still reading this blog, I could use some advice.

Before I get to that though, there is something all of you should know about real writing vs. blogging. It is harder. There is also no way of knowing how bad of a writer you are because publishers don’t like to discriminate. They hate all of us equally. Maybe hate is too strong of a word. Their rejection letters are rather polite…

Anyway, thanks for all your comments on my last post. I really appreciate your kindness, but I’m not replying to them because I would probably get sucked right back in to the blogosphere.

Okay, advice…I’m trying to think of a pen name. I made the names in the following poll with the letters in my real name, but I am open to suggestions for something else. I kind of would like a gender neutral name because men are better writers, so I want to fake being one. (Don’t be offended ladies, after all, God is a man and look how well his Book is doing. Also, many of my favorite authors are men, although I have a few women authors I adore).

I chose Link as the first name for these because of the video game character. My son will approve. Like I said, suggestions are welcome, with or without the letters here.

Why is it so hard to write?

This is so weird. I have never had as much difficulty writing as I’ve been having lately. Everyone says “it must be writer’s block” when writing is difficult. Some of us are way too creative to fall for that silly …