The end of hope


  I’m tired of believing.

Tired of wishing on stars.

Tired of dreaming the impossible dream.

Tired of waiting for answers.

Tired of hoping things will change.

Things won’t change.

But I can.

I can know instead of believe.

I can stop wishing and just enjoy the stars.

I can wake from impossible dreams and see what really is possible.

I can find out instead of waiting for answers from something else.

I can change instead of hoping my world will.

Belief is an excuse if there is no movement behind it.

Wishes need dedication to become reality.

Dreams can prevent you from seeing the beauty in each moment.

Waiting for answers is never as satisfying as discovering the truth.

Hoping things will change, can keep you from changing yourself.

Goodbye belief.

Goodbye wishes.

Goodbye dreams.

Goodbye waiting.

Goodbye hope.

Hello reality. Hello action. Hello me. Hello you?

Guess what?


 The most incredible thing happened to me today. I met a guy at Starbucks who does a radio show, and he wants to do about a 15 minute on-air interview with me!

I’m beyond excited! For those of you who don’t know, I’m trying to change the world. Dyingwithstyle.org is my website where you can read all about it.

Anyway, it should be within the next few weeks, and there should be a podcast of it, so I’ll share it here after it’s done, and on my site. 

It’s for missionsradio.org, which is basically a site promoting all sorts of world-changing people and organizations from around the world. I seriously can’t stop smiling. 

What to do when you realize you are an idiot:

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In light of recent events, I am re-posting this as a reminder to myself. First and most importantly; don’t panic. 98.875% of the world’s population will come to this realization at some point in their lives. If you don’t think … Continue reading

Happily Ever After


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So many people have an idea of what “happily ever after” looks like. I realized tonight that my “happily ever after” doesn’t look anything like the typical hopes and dreams most people have.

Some of us are cut from a different mold, and maybe, just maybe, it is okay to want something different. I will always value the fairy tale from a literary standpoint, and I am hopeful for those who choose to follow that path. 

My own story will have a much different ending, hopefully still filled with excitement and adventure, but I don’t want a fairy tale prince (or princess for that matter).

I think some people are meant to be alone, and I honestly think I’m one of them. Why should that be a sad thing? 

I want passionate lovers to color the pages of my book, but I want to be the author of the story. I want whirlwind romances to sweep me off my feet, but am I wrong for hoping they don’t linger too long?

I’m a writer. Maybe not the best writer, but can a fairy tale still exist without the romantic “and they lived happily ever after” at the end?  Continue reading

Hurting


  

Yes, there’s the emotional pain of abandonment and loss and rejection, of my…nevermind. I shouldn’t even talk about that heartbreak. 

Physical pain is kicking my ass at the moment. It feels like my legs are burning and being crushed at the same time, and then they spasm and I can’t describe it. From an 8 to a 10. Thankfully each only lasts a second, and they only come every 30 seconds or so. Nothing like real pain to distract you from emotional bs. 

That said, I’ll always miss you.

The key


 
 
I sometimes want a look inside the deeper world I know you hide. But your mind is locked and you hoard the key. I can only see what you let me see. 

So I’ll skim the surface waiting for, the day you decide to open the door. 

If that day never comes to be, remember it was you who held the key.