10. You tried out for “America’s Got Talent” and didn’t make the cut.
9. You are too fat to leave the house.
8. The kids think you are “working” when you write.
7. You are a conspiracy theorist and don’t trust people who are “real”.
6. You are too boring in person.
5. Life offers too many stupid people and situations to ignore.
4. You want to be able to look back some day and say “see, I told you so”.
3. You have too much time to sit around and do nothing.
2. You need to have a written record so you can prove how funny you are.
1. You have more words to say than people want to hear.