Why am I awake?

(For a guaranteed insomnia cure see: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-4b )

Although the link above shows how to stop insomnia, it does not address the cause of the sleep disorder. After thoroughly analyzing the problem, I have discovered several reasons why people like me can not fall or stay asleep.

10. We subconsciously enjoy being grouchy all day due to sleep deprivation.

9. The infomercials on t.v. are worth waking up in the middle of the night for.

8. We can’t stop thinking of who will win America’s Got Talent.

7. Our moms read us bedtime stories when we were kids and we can not function as sleepy adults without someone reading to us. (Parents, take note)

6. Taco Bell and its “fourth meal” campaign. *For their true intentions see: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-18

5. We gave up on “beauty sleep” after going to prom with no date.

4. There is too much to think about to waste time on sleep.

3. We are secretly scared that Freddy Krueger awaits us in our dreams. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freddy_Krueger)

2. We are trying to gain weight and everyone knows food tastes best at 2:00 in the morning.

1. We are way too creative for our own good. (“Creativity is rebellion in disguise” – R. Franklin). To sleep through the night would be too “normal”.

Good luck fellow insomniacs, and don’t forget to check out the cure at the top of this post.


3 thoughts on “Why am I awake?

  1. I’ve got a couple to add:
    There’s a craft project that really needs finishing!
    My husband is snoring… again.
    All the truly terrible TV is on late at night, you know, things you would never actually admit to watching!

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