Ok, so last night I was thinking about all my different doctors, and I thought I had better give them some much deserved praise. So here it goes:
Dr. J. (Urologist) – Thanks for always having me catheterized each time I visit your office. Not only does that remind me of the pain of childbirth, it also helps me to realize how much urine I carry around even when I don’t have to pee.
Dr. M. (Blood/Circulation doctor who visited me during my time spent in rehab) – Thank you for coming into my hospital room to tell me that you think everything (as far as the swelling and color changes in my foot) is just fine. No other advice would be worth the almost $400.00 you charged my insurance.
Dr. Ya. – (Rehab Doctor) – Thanks for the pain-killer prescription that I am now addicted to. Your care has helped me become the psychotic person I am today.
Erin and Amanda (Physical Therapists in Rehab) – Thank you girls for teaching me exercises which I don’t do, and for not laughing when you helped me take a shower.
Dr. Ye. (Primary Care) – Your sympathetic attitude and quality time spent listening to my concerns brings back memories of when I first met my husband. I also appreciate your help in determining the best laxatives for my medication filled body.
Dr. P. (Neurologist) – The six month wait for your personalized care is completely understandable. You do a great job of working with all of us MS’rs. Since no one appreciates a good joke as much as I do, I also enjoy your sense of humor as you ask “other than falling down and breaking your hip, is there anything else we should know about?”
Dr. K. (Surgeon) – Thanks for operating on me. I appreciate your care and attention to detail as you explain why the screws are backing out of my hip and I will soon look like Frankenstein. Your x-ray techs are also very optimistic as they remind me of how strong my arms will soon be from using a walker (a little broken hip is well worth it for improving upper body strength).
Amy (Current Physical Therapist) – You are great at what you do. Thank you for recommending an ESS machine (basically a shock collar) and for refusing to work with me until I got Botox injected into my leg. I didn’t really want to work out anyway, and you have given me an extra couple of months to be lazy.
Dr. C. (Botox guy) – I haven’t met you yet, but I am already looking forward to trying to talk you into giving me some Botox in my frown lines and crow’s-feet as well as the recommended shots in my leg.
To the psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, ophthalmologists, podiatrists and other doctors I have visited throughout the years, I am sorry I don’t remember your names. I do have records of my visits somewhere and thanks to the wonderful world of the internet, I can find you if I ever need your services again.
Forever yours, Hobbler