The following contains disturbing content: viewer discretion advised

This is a post I had sent out in an email last year, but since it is such an important subject, I thought I would have to share it now before you waste your money.

I had a vision. No, this was not a vision of sugar plums dancing in my head, or even a vision of a whopper from Burger King, but something much more disturbing (if you can imagine). I saw in the yard of a house I will probably have to pass another 100 times between now and Halloween some of those idiotic, unsightly, pathetic excuses for a Halloween decoration.

At this time I must put in a disclaimer: *The views expressed in this commentary are not those of any organization that might get associated with this post. They are just some opinions from a woman whose favorite candy is “candy buttons” and who is probably sugared up on them as we speak.

You all know what I am talking about…those blow up balloon decorations that people devalue their yards and neighborhoods with. Whose idea was it to create big balloon characters for yard decorations? Obviously some rich person because believe it or not, PEOPLE ACTUALLY BUY THESE THINGS! And believe me, they are not cheap.  I just looked on Walmart.com and found a “Skeleton on Pipe Organ” on clearance for $76 dollars (it had been $99). By the way, that was SOLD OUT. Now, I must say that the blowup haunted houses did look kind of cool but definitely not $200 cool though which was their approximate prices.

Who has $80 to a couple hundred dollars to spend on a balloon character to disgrace their yards for a couple of weeks. I bet there are plenty of entrepreneurial kids out there who would take $50 dollars to dress up as a skeleton and wave their arms around. Not to mention you have to use some kind of machine to keep those things full of air, and it probably runs up you electric bill. Plus, you know that you are making yourself a target for bored teenagers to take a pair of scissors to. The worst part of all is that these desecration’s are made for every possible holiday now. Someone needs to start a petition to protect our yards and neighborhoods!

If you ask me, the balloon’s heads are not the only ones filled with air. But that’s right, you didn’t ask me, and there are probably many of you out there who love these things and think they are “so cute”. To you I say 1. I think you need to save the eggnog for Christmas (if you know what I mean) and 2. You can’t sue me, I am probably balloon-aphobic which has to be some kind of disease protected by the ADA.

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4 thoughts on “The following contains disturbing content: viewer discretion advised

  1. It must be hard to keep these things filled with air cause the big balloons in my neighborhood always seem to be deflated. Why is it that once they deflate no one bothers to re-inflate them? There they sit all crumpled on the ground. It’s just too sad.

    Poor crumpled Santy Clause and melted Frosty 😦 What do all the little children think about poor, flat Santa, just lying there on the grass for three months?

    I have to admit though — the one with the carousel that goes around and around is pretty fun!

    • Those things do deflate quite often. When they do, it looks like a big trash bag or blow up swimming pool that has been left out all year. Poor children. As far as the carousel that goes around, it is a little cute in an annoying way, but still a waste of money in my book. Now if they ever made one with Santa chasing elves around, I might be a little more interested. 😉

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