Since I am pretty sure that one of my “followers” un-followed me; I thought I should give the rest of you some guidelines for the proper etiquette of letting someone know that their blog is a huge disappointment.
Rule #1. Wait until the person you are following has enough traffic/followers to not recognize immediately who just ditched them.
Rule #2. If the blogger you follow is a dog person, or a vegetarian, or something else that is weird; start making comments about how cats are better, the mouth-watering smell of meat, etc. That way when you un-follow them, even if they recognize who you are, they will be a little relieved that you are not going to be stopping by anymore.
Rule#3. Pretend you died. Write a post in a completely different style than usual and pretend that you are a friend/relative who is just letting the dead guy’s “following” list know why the dead person can’t view their stuff anymore. This option may not work if the un-followed person checks out the blogs you are continuing to follow, so you might want to change your account name, picture, or perhaps even blogging website. (I know it seems like a lot of work, but this option is great for finding out how much the person you were following will miss you)
Rule #4. Become deeply offended by something the person you follow said on their blog and leave a comment about it. (Example: “I can not believe that you had the nerve to suggest I use real sugar in that recipe. You just want me to get even fatter! Well, I am never reading your blog again”.
Rule #5. Prevention is the best measure. Try not to follow blogs that you don’t actually like. Everyone can have a good writing day now and then, but before you click that “follow” button, look at their other posts to see if they are as consistently delightful as this blog. Maybe that is a little too optimistic. Even if they are not as wonderful, just make sure their blogs don’t leave a bad taste in your mouth.
And remember kids, only you can’t prevent forest fires and broken blogger hearts.