Dogs – Annoying Things: Part Three

For other things that annoy me, see: Clothes and other annoying things or Snoring…and other annoying/stupid things (part two)

At the risk of alienating my followers and bringing death and destruction to my home; I just feel compelled to say it. Dogs are annoying.

I am really sorry all you dog lovers, but facts are facts. We have a cute little dog. Cute when he is asleep or playing catch, but not so cute when he is jumping on people, peeing on the table legs, humping anything that moves (even after we had him fixed), digging holes in the back yard, tearing up trash, etc. He recently got into the bathroom and tore some of my teenager’s used feminine hygiene products. We went on a walk and he made a point of rubbing his head in a previous pet’s poop. When I was a kid the dog we owned; ate cow manure, had poop often stuck to his hairy butt, and humped a goat. No joking.

Personally, I like cats, but as long as you are willing to admit that dogs are annoying, you can like any animal you want. Even dogs. Kids are annoying sometimes too, but I like them…well, I like mine.

I know that you dog lovers are probably getting your steak knives sharpened so you can hunt me down, but just so you know, I like my dog a little. He is trainable (which is more than I can say about my kids), he eats what we want him to eat (which is more than I can say about my kids), he can find and pick up his toys (which is more than I can say about my kids), he likes to go play outside (which is often more than I can say about my kids).

Okay, so there might be a few things a little more annoying than dogs, but at least my kids don’t rub their heads in poop.

To my children: If you ever read this, please understand that I love you very much and you are way better than the dog. Even when you don’t pick up your toys. 😉


14 thoughts on “Dogs – Annoying Things: Part Three

  1. Well that’s it, now I have to un-follow you – fairly warned be thee, says I! Nah just kidding, I consider my little Danger Dog to be my firstborn (technically he *was* born first) but he still drives me crazy with his annoying habits – finding and shredding tissues, barking loudly to tell me the baby has just gone to sleep, peeing on my husband…actually that last one’s kinda funny 😛

  2. I always found dogs to be a little too “What you want to do now? What you want to do now?” to be a permanent addition to my family. Cats are great, mostly lazy with brief fits of enthusiasm and affection…just like me. Unfortunately, my wife is allergic to the little critters. I’ve heard that skunks make great pets… don’t get into much trouble and like to curl up a lot. Plus anyone looking in you window thinking of breaking in will have second thoughts. I’d like to know if there’s a skunk dealer in my area where I could get better informed.

    • I feel your pain…I love cats, but my husband is alergic too. It took me a while, but I decided that he was more important than having a cat. I usually don’t regret the decision. 😉 I have heard that about skunks too. They sure are cute (when they are not dead and stinking up the road). I will have to look into getting one.

  3. I know this is totally un-American, but I love cats. Dogs, not so much. Sadly (Parallel Universe, anyone?), my husband is allergic to cats. I’m reduced to haunting my local Petco on Saturdays for their weekly cat adoption day, pretending that I’m in the market for a cat just to be able to pet and hold a few. A squirrel who lives in the tree outside my office is my pet, although he doesn’t know it. I’ve named him Puffy and I’m toying with the idea of leaving him a small bowl of nuts.

    • I love cats too! Also, my husband is allergic.;( Someone mentioned having a skunk instead of a cat, and I am seriously thinking about it. Sometimes I wonder if my husband isn’t making the “allergic” thing up just because he is a dog person (you know how dog-people are). 😉

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