Why I Will Never Be Boring: Top Ten

10. I’m not smart enough – Have you ever noticed how all (or at least most) of the boring people in the world are pretty smart? On the other side, they have a million “entertaining” shows with dumb people (World’s Dumbest, Are You Smarter than a 5th grader, Jersey Shore, etc.)

9. I have spare body parts – Go with me on this one. I have 10 fingers and 10 toes (weird huh?). Anyway, a person missing a finger is never boring. I could speak of my mob connections, how I was kidnapped and tortured, why I should never mow the lawn, etc.

8. I get more senile each day – Just think, soon I could be thinking I was someone else, or running around naked, losing myself, or some other interesting thing.

7. I like cats – Even though I don’t have a cat, if I talk about them enough I might become “The Cat Lady”. I have heard people say “the crazy cat woman”, “the weird cat woman”, “you know the one with all the cats”, etc. I have never heard “the boring cat lady”.

6. I am married – Therefore I have an endless supply of humorous, crazy, and exciting writing/talking about material.

5. I have kids – If you could get a “more than endless” supply of material, kids would make the cut.

4. I can say the alphabet backward – Maybe not as quickly as I could when I practiced for the day when I might get pulled over and the officer would think I was drunk because I couldn’t walk in a straight line (that was before I needed a wheelchair…another benefit of being disabled, cops realize you are not drunk).

3. My sense of humor – The only time I don’t have a good sense of humor (just don’t confirm this with my husband) is when I am hormonal, and then I am way too easily upset to be boring.

2. I’m not afraid to do embarrassing things in public – Life is too short to worry about what other people think (unless they think you are boring). Random twitches and muscle movements, slurred speech, and cognition problems like trying to pay for your groceries with your cell phone, (not to mention bladder issues) are part of living with Multiple Sclerosis, and are never boring.

1. I have you – My faithful readers, who will pretend like I am still entertaining, even if I’m not.  You will do that right? Right? Come on, show a little compassion. Honesty is over-rated.

18 thoughts on “Why I Will Never Be Boring: Top Ten

    • If you cut off a toe, just remember to not cut off the big one, or the one next to it (you’ll want to be able to still wear flip-flops. As far as Clyde Barrow, I am not sure, but it is a great idea.

  1. I am new here so excuse me if, I say something wrong! You are not boring at all in fact I have dat here and read your blog for the last 30 minutes (its very entertaining) I have to say its nice to see a girl with a terrible sickness such as MS not let it stop her! You are truly an inspiration to all of us bloggers out there! I will be back to read more! interesting points here I love them! 😀

  2. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. It is time for you to get a cat young lady. Dogs may not be your thing. And that is okay, not everyone is perfect but cat people run a very close second. I say get a cat and let the fun begin. No need for dismemberment.

    • That is the tradegy of the whole “cat” thing. My husband and father-in-law are allergic. I think I would still get one if it was just my father-in-law, cause we don’t see him too much anyway, but my husband is another story. One of the most difficult decisions I made was him or a cat. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision 😉

  3. Some people call me The Skunk Guy even though I don’t have one as a pet. I’ve never been sprayed and aren’t scared of them and treat them sort of like squirrels with racing stripes (actually, I’d like to catch a bunch of black squirrels and bleach a stripe down their backs and release them back into the neighbourhood…tree skunks!!). I feed them peanuts and just go about my business and they stay calm while I’m BBQing in the backyard.

    Look, if any of you are serious about amputating stuff to maintain your interestingness, could you send the parts to me, please? I think it would be less traumatic and painful to add your parts, as opposed to yanking off some of my own, in an effort to bolster my appeal to others.

    • I really do think skunks are cute, and you can have their “scent pack” removed, but can you imagine what would happen if it ever got loose? I don’t even know if being in a wheelchair could save me from the neighborhood wrath then. As far as the finger thing goes, sure, I won’t have much use for them anyway…unless I pull a Dahmer or something, which would probably make me even more interesting…they have even made movies about him. (To anyone whose lives were in any way affected by him and his sick stuff, that was just a joke. I would never kill or eat anyone…well, maybe that marshmallow ghost from ghostbusters.. ;))

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  5. Smart people are boring because they show off how smart they are by using big words the rest of us don’t understand, just to show how smart they are. I get back at them by using even bigger words… (even if I have to make them up)… and even though I am not that smart.

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