10. I’m not smart enough – Have you ever noticed how all (or at least most) of the boring people in the world are pretty smart? On the other side, they have a million “entertaining” shows with dumb people (World’s Dumbest, Are You Smarter than a 5th grader, Jersey Shore, etc.)
9. I have spare body parts – Go with me on this one. I have 10 fingers and 10 toes (weird huh?). Anyway, a person missing a finger is never boring. I could speak of my mob connections, how I was kidnapped and tortured, why I should never mow the lawn, etc.
7. I like cats – Even though I don’t have a cat, if I talk about them enough I might become “The Cat Lady”. I have heard people say “the crazy cat woman”, “the weird cat woman”, “you know the one with all the cats”, etc. I have never heard “the boring cat lady”.
6. I am married – Therefore I have an endless supply of humorous, crazy, and exciting writing/talking about material.
5. I have kids – If you could get a “more than endless” supply of material, kids would make the cut.
4. I can say the alphabet backward – Maybe not as quickly as I could when I practiced for the day when I might get pulled over and the officer would think I was drunk because I couldn’t walk in a straight line (that was before I needed a wheelchair…another benefit of being disabled, cops realize you are not drunk).
3. My sense of humor – The only time I don’t have a good sense of humor (just don’t confirm this with my husband) is when I am hormonal, and then I am way too easily upset to be boring.
2. I’m not afraid to do embarrassing things in public – Life is too short to worry about what other people think (unless they think you are boring). Random twitches and muscle movements, slurred speech, and cognition problems like trying to pay for your groceries with your cell phone, (not to mention bladder issues) are part of living with Multiple Sclerosis, and are never boring.
1. I have you – My faithful readers, who will pretend like I am still entertaining, even if I’m not. You will do that right? Right? Come on, show a little compassion. Honesty is over-rated.