Halloween Tips for Werewolves: Top Ten

10. Buy some gum: There is nothing worse than dog-and-chewed-up-human breath. Gum is really cheap. Do your next victim a favor by exhaling ‘minty-fresh’ breath on him/her.

9. Get a fanny pack: I know they aren’t cool anymore, but you are going to need a place to hold your gum and at least a pair of underwear for when you wake up naked in the woods.

8. Bathe regularly: This one should go without saying, but it is really important. The last thing you want is to show up to work the next morning smelling like a dog.

7. Get a Zip-It: All that body hair can really clog up those drains, so be prepared with Zip-It.

6. Buy clothes in bulk: Turning into a werewolf can rip apart many outfits, so be sure to buy your clothes at large supply store or some garage sales.

5. Trim your nails: Running around on all fours with huge claw-like nails, can really damage your floors, so be sure to keep those nails trimmed.

4. Ignore some of your canine reflexes: If you get the urge to sniff someone’s butt, or maybe start humping them, remember…that is rude. Just say no.

3. Don’t be jealous of vampires: Sure they get a lot of positive PR, but you are related to “man’s best friend”. Their closest relative is an ugly little bat.

2. Try not to take things personal: Humans will probably run away from you and talk about you behind your back. Although that might trigger some 3rd-grade traumatic memories, it is not personal…people just don’t like being eaten.

1. Have a great Halloween, and while you’re out, you might want to pick up some cologne.

For more Halloween tips see: Tips for Vampires, and Costume Ideas.

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