Here Kiddo, Kiddo…Good Boy! You want a treat?

Today, before getting my youngest ready for school, I saw part of Anderson Cooper’s talk show, Anderson. The first thing I noticed was the mention of “Train Up A Child”. , that sounds familiar, I thought to myself and then I saw some elderly gentleman (Michael Pearl) sitting on stage. It was at that moment that I remembered how I knew about that book title. My mother had sent it to me shortly after she visited me following the birth of my son. (I wonder if she was trying to tell me something).

I must admit that I hadn’t read the whole book, but I did remember thinking that first few pages had sounded pretty good. Needless to say, I kept watching Anderson to see what was bringing this book (written in the 90’s) back into public attention.

It turns out that some parents have abused and killed their children who have also read this book…of course the same can be said of other books (like Catcher in the Rye), but we don’t want to get side-tracked.

Abuse of children or anyone is horrible and should never happen. That said, there are many crazy people who can and do abuse people all over the world regardless of which books they read, or which methods they use to do it.

As I continued to watch Anderson, it became very clear that he (and most of his audience as well as his carefully chosen psychologists) was against the ideas presented in Train Up A Child, and basically think that the book/author was in part or completely responsible for these parents who abused and killed their children.

One of the discipline methods is using a small…switch thing to spank, and he also suggests other methods of disciplining children from infancy on up.  Mr. Pearl also in his book mentioned that we often make quite an effort to train our pets to behave so that we don’t, in a fit of rage, latter kick them or yell at them or whatever. Of course the Anderson audience was very upset at the idea of comparing children to animals.

I don’t know if I agree or disagree with all of his methods, I still haven’t read the whole book. I do know that when I was little all the way up to about 5th grade, I was in a small school which allowed corporal punishment. (One of the teacher’s husbands made a 2 inch thick paddle and drilled holes in it so the air wouldn’t slow it down). I was pretty well-behaved back then, but I still had my hand whacked a few times and was spanked once or twice.

I haven’t abused my kids. I haven’t killed my kids. Is anyone else getting tired of hearing how everything bad that anyone does is not actually their fault? Does anyone else wonder if people who abuse or kill their children or others think that they have a right to do so because, after all, they are the only one who really matters, and their actions don’t have any consequences. Isn’t everyone in prison actually deserving of release because after all, their parents might have spanked them, or maybe someone told them they were ugly in high school?

I’m not minimizing the effects of abuse or bullying. I do think we as a society, should start taking responsibility for our actions; regardless of how we may have been influenced  by someone else. I’ve got to go start fixing dinner now. I might order a pizza…but what if my kids don’t like pizza and talk about it later in therapy…or what if the delivery driver feels like I didn’t tip him/her enough and goes on a shooting rampage…what if someone is in a hurry to get home and they have to wait because my driver is in front of them…

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7 thoughts on “Here Kiddo, Kiddo…Good Boy! You want a treat?

  1. Can’t I blame the Pearls *and* the abusive parents? People are responsible for their own behavior, but I’d say publishing a book with instructions on how to “properly” hit children with sticks is pretty bad behavior in itself.

    • I see your point, although I haven’t read the full book and so I don’t really feel qualified to judge it, but I must admit that I am not totally against spanking. It seems like our society has victimized children to a point that pretty much any type of discipline can be considered abusive. Children therefore grow up having a victim mentality and acting as if the world owes them something. I respect and understand your opion though, and please feel welcome to comment further on this or any topic. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. OMG- I have not read the whole post, but that is a TERRIBLE book, and it promotes abuse. They even have a pipe (pvc) that they recommend using to do it “properly.” Now I’ll go back and read the post. These people make me see red.

  3. There is a huge difference in loving guidance and spanking/using a tool to discipline. These folks are on the end of the pole that needs to be buried, imo.

    That being said- I’m not even sure it’s the parents that are cranking out these kinds of individuals who can’t take responsibility. Parents do contribute, and while the buck stops there, once a child is school age, it’s the school and the people in it who are the largest influence.

    I’ve seen a t-shirt for homeschoolers- “I’ve seen the village, and I don’t like it.” 😆 There are schools that aren’t allowed to give grades, because a poor grade might “damage self esteem.” And parents don’t see anything wrong with that?!

    I know there are times that may require both parents to work. But honestly- when you turn your child over to others to raise, you get what you get. I know that’s not a popular opinion, but imo, the downhill slide started when mothers were no longer home with their kids in the early years. It matters. It DOES make a difference.

    Absolutely- kids need guidance and consequences for bad behavior. What the Pearls are doing- that’s just wrong. You can’t totally disregard the needs and the capabilities of the child and expect to have good results.

    I could rant and rant about this- this stuff is not loving guidance, imo. Obedience to avoid being punished or spanked or hurt does not create children who are capable of thinking and making good choices…….

    Just my .02 as usual; ymmv. 🙂

    • I will have to talk with you more tomorrow. I already took my meds tonight and am not going to even know what I was saying if I try to talk about this topic now, but I have lots of discussion stuff for you if you wouldn’t mind tomorrow?

      • Sure! I have a race this morning and won’t be home until afternoon- no idea how I’ll feel after because there is snow on the ground, but I’m thinking I should be fine after a good soak…. 🙂

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