Dear washing machine,

I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m going to be brutally honest. I’m just not attracted to you anymore.

When we met, I’ll admit that the relationship was purely physical. You looked pretty good next to all those others, and when I first brought you home…well…I loved what you did for me.

As time went by, we learned how to push each other’s buttons; but for the most part the relationship was still a good one. It helped that you listened to me and did what I asked you to do.

Slowly though, you developed some annoying habits. You stopped taking care of yourself, honestly, you are falling apart. You also started getting louder and louder. I also feel like you lied to me about your ability to handle the things I needed you to be strong for.

It is not only you though, I admit that I am partially to blame. I know my eyes wander at times…it is just…those newer models have so many great features. They also seem strong and capable, yet beautiful and quiet as well!

Please don’t take this too hard. I know that someone else will love you (some parts more than others). I know this is hard, but please don’t cry (our house still smells like mildew from the leaky dishwasher). Always know that you have been great for these past ten years, it is just time to move on. It will be better for both of us.

Sincerely, The Hobbler

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10 thoughts on “Dear washing machine,

  1. Love it! I need a version for my dishwasher, stove, fridge and microwave. All of them are only partially functioning.

    • You might not want to start ditching them all at once, you will have a mutiny on your hands. 😉 The sad part is that I am still using her. I guess I should have mentioned that in the post, but no one wants the whole world to know they are being used.

  2. As someone who doesn’t currently own a washing machine, I find it very sad that you are mocking that fine noble machine, and will therefore direct my comments to it:
    Dear washing machine –
    It’s not your fault that you’re not doing so well anymore. You have a fickle owner, only interested in the latest features and push buttons. I saw her at Sears fawning over the one with the Self Cleaning lint screen and Saf-T Color Capture technology.
    But you, with your glorious spin cycle and adorable off center door that water streams out of, you have character.
    So don’t feel threatened by her. Go ahead, shrink her jeans and eat her socks. I know when you are left on the sidewalk, it will only be the beginning of a grand adventure for you!
    Love and Bleaches,
    EG

  3. May I borrow your letter to give to my dishwasher? I feel you’ve put it more eloquently than I ever could!! Thanks for stopping by my blog by the way!! =D

    • Thanks for stopping by mine too! You can definitely use the letter, but you might want to keep the dryer letter available too, just in case some other appliances start giving your dishwasher a hard time. 😉

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