How to be someone else: Top Ten

Many of us have days, weeks, or at least moments when we wish we were someone else. Since we don’t all have Michael Jackson money, here are some practical ideas for helping with this problem:

10. Go crazy – some people call it a psychotic break, others call it a vacation. Either way, going crazy is one of those things that will help friends and family members recognize that they aren’t in Kansas anymore.
 9. Fake it – go out and buy that blonde wig…if you are already blonde, go ask a sales person to help you find a wig that is not the same color as your hair. If hair is not a concern, go get that padded bra (sock in underwear for the guys). If neither of these is a concern, go read someone’s blog who is as wonderful as you are…this blog is for people with real problems…
8. Think of your favorite things – it worked for “Maria” in Sound of Music…if it is not working for you, just be happy that some of your favorite things do not include “door-bells, and sleigh-bells, and schnitzel with noodles.”

7. Be someone else – odds are that the world will not end if you sit around all day watching movies. If you usually do that, why not try something adventurous for a change? This blog offers a money back guarantee on all advice, so go ahead and try it.

6. Become a spy – This is especially helpful if your day-job is boring…or if you are a little kid with older brothers or sisters to annoy.

5. Talk your problems out – If you are desiring to be someone else, you probably have some things going on in your life that you are not too thrilled about. Get together with a friend, find a pastor with some time on his hands, talk to your dog…their sense of smell is not their only great quality…they are wonderful listeners.

4. Write down some things you are thankful for – *This advice is excluded from the money-back guarantee. The author thought she should put it in here because just about every self-help book suggests this, and she would like to get paid too.

3. Wish for it  – To see how this is capable of changing your life, just check out most Christmas movies, or Freaky Friday, Opposite Day, etc.

2. Distract yourslef – Psychiotrists might tell you that you need to think through and address your difficulties, but what do they know? A lot of my problems have been solved when I move on to something else and forget about them…now that I am thinking about them, I’m starting to remember that they haven’t gone away…scratch that advice.

1. Start a blog and be someone compleltely different – That is one of the wonderful things about the internet, you can pretend like you are not as psychotic as you sometimes act. You could also pretend you are psychotic. Or you really could be psychotic…if this is you, stay away from my blog and go find some girl taking a shower.

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16 thoughts on “How to be someone else: Top Ten

  1. Crap. And to think I’ve spent all this time trying to be myself.
    As far as number 1 – are you trying to tell us that you are a short bald Ukranian boy named Stuvloski? (or is that just me?)

    • That is the great thing about the Internet…I can be who I want. I’m also a professional liar, remember? It is wonderful that you are happy with yourself. It’s great. Really…(although technically you should have stopped reading after #9). You sure you don’t want a padded bra? ๐Ÿ˜‰

      As far as the Stuvloski thing, my name is really Chevlaskaski. Okay, so I am not a great enough liar to pull that one off. Sorry.

  2. Okay, like we fit entirely waaayyy too many of 1 thru 10. And we aren’t in Kansas anymore; haven’t been in a looonggg time (at least since last summer).
    Oh, hi Dorothy! Hello little green men. And flying monkeys. And who is that standing there? Oh! It’s ‘me’! (sighing . . .)
    Psychotics rule! (Little team of green men starts cheering).
    But really . . . truthfully (and I find it funny as heck!) – all of the above fit in some way. Cuz’ we’re really a ‘we’ and a ‘he’ all the time.
    singular but plural.
    Scary thought, eh? (whipping out vampire fangs, slipping them in my mouth. Rawwrrr . . . I’m a dinosaur, and it’s way too early in the morning!) LOL! Good post, sirrette!

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