This is part of a OAA Meeting series. For the first meeting see this link. But you don’t have to…it just will make a little more sense…for some of you…some people probably won’t “get” these posts at all…anyway…
Sign on door: “Don’t Over-Analyze Yourself”
Bob: Hello everyone, and welcome to this meeting.
Sue: Hi Bob.
Bill: That is what they want you to say, man.
Bob: Okay?…um, lets all start by introducing ourselves. I’m Bob.
Sue: Hi, I’m Sue. I hope you found a good parking spot.
Jill: I’m Jill, and it was my idea to come here.
Bill: Yeah, she totally buys into the whole “help-yourself be a better person” crap.
Bob: Well, hopefully we can all learn from each other today. This meeting is a support group for over-analyzers. Sue was here last week, so why don’t you two tell us a little about yourselves?
Bill: Yeah right, like I am going to buy into your whole “mind-control” routine.
Jill: Shut up Bill. He’s my twin brother, but we couldn’t think more differently. I wanted to come today because Bill has always struggled with paranoia, and it just seems to be getting worse.
Bill: Like you are normal…you think that mom and dad were trying to destroy us from the time they named us.
Jill: Bill and Jill Hill? If that isn’t a passive aggressive attempt to ruin out lives, I don’t know what is. You are the one who thinks that the government has secret spy planes tracking our every move.
Bill: Have you ever thought about why cell phone reception stops at random times when we are in the library? They don’t want you to be able to talk about certain books which would open your eyes to their schemes.
Jill: Whatever Bill. You think that even our social security numbers have some secret meaning. You over think everything and then twist it in your crazy little brain to mean that someone is out to get you. At least I know who really is out to get me.
Bob: Maybe we should slow it down a little. Don’t you think that perhaps you are over thinking the rationale behind your names, and the whole cell reception thing? I lose cell reception even when I’m in Walmart.
Bill: Well duh…Walmart? What do you think of when I say the letters KS?
Bob: Um…Kansas maybe?
Bill: KS…take the first letter in “kill” and the last letter in “us”…KS. Now, put that behind the “l” in Walmart and what do you have? W A L K S M A R T…Walk smart…as in the people who are on to the conspiracy should walk smart or they will get zapped from the sky with invisible lasers that will turn you into a robot…if you haven’t already been turned.
Jill: You are crazy…seriously…they should lock you up, like I tried to get them to do with mom and dad after they told us the “rock-a bye baby” lyrics.
Bob: Wow, the time has really flown by. Let’s just try not to over-analyze anything and we will pick this up next week.
Bill: (Starting to walk out) See, I told you that he was one of them.
Jill: (Leaving too) You are a moron Bill. The only ones who have ever tried to kill us, were our parents when they were trying to “teach us” how to ride a bike.
Sue: (Gathering her things) I’m starting to feel better about myself already.
Bob: That is good Sue…real good…(wondering if starting this group was a good idea after all).
*If you send me an idea for a character, either based on yourself or not, I will attempt to include them in a future meeting.