Some of you may have noticed that I have a particular talent for the art of overanalysis. I don’t mean to brag…but I am really, really good at it.
You know how there are some bloggers who blog every day? For the most part that is me. Sometimes I even put 2 or 3 posts a day out. I am either awesome or annoying, and I’m okay with that. The problem is that in the blog world we can’t actually know what is going on in the real life of some of our friends. I have had 2 of my great blogger friends who have been involved in potentially serious car accidents. This concerns me. Not only the fact that they almost got killed, both of them are women drivers, so we all know how crazy they can be; but also the fact that I wouldn’t have known it if they did hurt themselves.
So, here is the plan. As a courtesy to everyone here, I am laying out the rules for dying/other horrible stuff that affects in some way people who you don’t know in real life.
For me these rules are as follows:
- If I don’t blog or comment on someone else’s blog for two weeks…assume I am dead. At that point, just leave some beautiful messages about how wonderful I was and all that stuff in the comments on one of my posts here.
- If I don’t blog for two weeks, and you assume I am dead, but I have actually been kidnapped and am being held in the mountains somewhere in a dog cage with no electronic access, but then I escape and make it to a computer and read all the wonderful things that you said because you thought I was dead…that is okay. Really, it would be better to hear how someone feels about you before you’re dead anyway.
- If I disappear from the blog world only to turn up a week later, but when I am back, I have tons of spelling and other grammatical errors, and when you ask where I was, I say I don’t remember…I probably got hit by a car or something and have amnesia. It is also possible that my arms got chopped off somehow and I am tying with my nose.
- When you get weird thoughts that something is wrong with me, but I am still kind of blogging like normal…trust your gut. We are all writers here, so just let your imagination go crazy, and then be pleasantly surprised when I return to normal.
- If I start slipping little “help” messages into my posts, I am probably being tortured by someone, who still lets me blog. I don’t know what you should do about that. It would probably not be worth it to track me down and call the police and all that stuff. By the time you are done with that, I won’t have any skin left, so I wouldn’t want to live anyway. Just return to plan #1.