Rules for being a Pessimist

#10. Refuse to listen to music that is easy to remember (a sign of happy tunes).

#9. Get the doctor to prescribe something to you so that you can prove how sick you are.

#8. Remember to notify everyone you know when something bad happens.

#7. If someone tells you good news, immediately counter with “it’s too bad we didn’t hear it earlier.”

#6. If you have children or are caring for an elderly parent, be sure to join a support group.

#5. Post a depressing status on your Facebook so that everyone is forced to see your misery.

#4. Act like you are happy occasionally so that the effect of being sad/angry is more easily recognizable.

#3. If someone asks “how are you” it is their invitation to hear about everything that is wrong…don’t let them down by saying “fine.”

#2. Practise frowning each night in front of the mirror so the worry and frown lines in your face look deeper.

#1. If a check-out person says “Have a good day,” let them know your__________(aunt, dog, friend, fish, etc.) just died.

If you follow these rules you are sure to depress or anger someone else, which of course would make your day.

20 thoughts on “Rules for being a Pessimist

  1. I love this list! I have Celiac and I often get like this…I’m still trying to accept my “fate” of a gluten free diet and a screwed up stomach for the rest of my life, and the negativity has seemed to spread elsewhere in my life.

  2. Oh, my coffee is half empty now, it’s dreary outside, I didn’t sleep at all last night, their must be a front moving through because all my joints ache….

    But in reality… My coffee mug is half full of the most delicious brew of coffee, it’s a bea-U-tiful sunny day outside, I slept like a ROCK (too bad not with the Rock), and I do ache, but meh… but I’ll deal with it.

    And my roommate, aka my best friend, is giving her first poodle grooming seminar today (to a FULL house) at her new doggie grooming shop, and I’m going to go take pix,. Yay!!!!!

    • That is awesome! Sorry you’re a little achy, but I’m glad you can see the good side of things. I think that my personality is a little split. I can be very optimistic about life in general, and at the same time pessimistic about a particular situation. Overall, I think I have kind of lost hope in a lot of ways. So I guess that makes me cynical, which is great for blogging.

      • LOL… I know what you mean. For the past few months, especially when I thought I had MS, I became very cynical. Although it’s still there, must not as bad now. But the doctor also added another med to go with my pain med’s and upped the dosage, and the combo seems to really be working. The pain has greatly been reduced for a week now. Yay!

          • It is horrible to hear that, but honestly, when I thought I had MS, I completely understand. But still, my symptoms were not imagined, so there’s something going on – just not sure what.

            • All of the bs is not even related to the MS. At least it seems not to be. This is just life stuff. Family, friends, faith, future…pretty much every “f” word, and I’m about to just say “f” it. 😉 Anyway, hopefully they find out what is going on with you too. There has got to be something, and the sooner it all gets figured out, the better.

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