Reasons to stop following me:

This could in theory be a humorous post, but I’m not really in a laughing mood, so this is the real deal…

You are a pity follower – Pity followers often find you when you are first starting a blog. They click “follow” because they remember what it was like when they started, and they know that if they start following you, you will probably start following them soon.

I piss you off – Sure sometimes I am occasionally tolerable, but there are some things I write that really get under your skin. I don’t really understand why you would follow someone who annoyed you, and my feelings will not be hurt if you ditch me.

You are in love with me – For some reason I don’t think I have to worry about this too much, but for the record, you should not follow someone who you are in love with. If you are doing that, you should probably see a psychiatrist and fall in love with them instead. At least they will be equipped to deal with you.

You are just waiting for something bad to happen – This is like watching a race car or a stunt man. You tell yourself that you are there for the show, but secretly you are hoping that they crash and burn. I do that enough to not need fans egging me on.

I remind you of your mother – Same advice as the ”in love with me”. Find a shrink.

You are an entertainment junkie – I might be occasionally entertaining, but there are plenty of times when I am just boring, or too philosophical, or something. I don’t want you to risk it.

You follow me because I follow you – If this is the case, please don’t feel obligated to follow me. I wouldn’t be following your blog if I didn’t love it, and my love is unconditional.

I once wrote a post you liked – If it was only that one time, and you clicked “follow” in a moment of extreme bliss, but you have never been close to that feeling with any of my other posts, you can stop. I won’t hold it against you.

The reason I am writing about this is because I see enough “fake niceness” to not want to see it here too.

If you really enjoy my writing and you follow me because of that, you are my favorite type of follower. If you only stop in every once in a while, but each time you do, it is a good experience, that is great. Even if you started following me a long time ago, and you never see this post because you forgot you even followed me, that is understandable.

If any of the listed reasons are why you are here, please just stop. I am the kind of girl who makes invitations to her funeral to avoid crap like that. I will have more respect for you if you just click unfollow, than if you stay on here for a stupid reason. Please don’t misinterpret my tone of writing with this. I am not mad, and I am not accusing anyone of doing that. I just want to make it clear that I am at the point with this whole blogging experience that I would like to move beyond numbers or “likes” and start building relationships.

I value my true blog friends more than they could ever know, and I would like to have a closer friendship with all of you, so I just am trying to weed through some ulterior motives here. Thanks for understanding.

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155 thoughts on “Reasons to stop following me:

        • I do. Usually I have good random visitors too, I just…nevermind, it’s complicated… Sometimes I care too much. It is more about me than it is about them. It would just be easier this way, and I always take the easy way out.

        • The invitations to my funeral thing is a true story. I’ve felt that way since I was a kid. I got over it when I realized that I would no doubt leave out some people who really do care. Also it is not fair to question everyone’s motives, but the rationale behind it is solid.

          • Yes, but a better question is does it bring you peace?
            And if it does, then I’m all for it.
            I used to plan my funeral more than I ever thought of my wedding.
            the latest version has me throwing myself one while I’m still alive, being wheeled around in a coffin on a handtruck.
            And yes, there will be Hawaiian shirts for the mourners.

            • That sounds like fun EG. I think everyone should have a funeral before they die. Better yet, just tell the people you care about; that you care and why you care about them while they are still alive.

    • Thanks. it is getting to me a little today. I am probably just hormonal, but I just don’t want to play games. I would rather have 20 people who I could have good conversations with than 200 who I have no idea why they are here.

      I do understand that a lot of people don’t like to comment, especially not back and forth, and it is really not about the commenting anyway. I just get so many people in the real world who treat me differently because I am in a wheelchair. Even if people are just overly nice or overly mean, or whatever, it is all based on assumptions. I am starving for reality.

      • Yes well I use a wheelchair when I need to walk more than a couple of blocks so I know what you mean. It drives me nuts when people treat me differently because of it. Especially when it’s serving the standing person first in the store! A pet peeve. So I think it makes it doubly important for some reality in this kind of forum. We all look the same online & have the same abilities ostensibly , so lets not make it any different. Like you say let’s have some reality here.
        On the other hand hormones can be a bitch… Hang in there.

        • Thanks for understanding. It is nice when people are nice by opening doors and helping me get something, I really need help sometimes. The thing that really bothers me is so-called friends who are only friends because it is like a PR stint for them…see, I’m friends with the cripple…aren’t I nice?

          Okay, maybe that is hormonal too. I am sure most people don’t think like that. Thanks for letting me vent.

    • Thanks Sharon, I don’t know why, but I needed to write that. I am glad that you appreciate the honesty, and it is funny too. It doesn’t make sense why people would feel like they couldn’t unfollow me, but I’m sure some people do, so I just wanted to throw that out there. I need to go check my stats and see if anyone is taking me up on the offer. 😉

    • Hey Sharon, this is completely unrelated, but I’ve been getting search terms for my name and blog name. Do you think I have a stalker, cause that would make me feel a whole lot better. If you love me well enough to stalk me, you can stay. 😉

  1. Yes I think it is like a fever sometimes, people just click the follow option on a singular posting and then never call back again, of course that is okay but why bother? To be honest I don’t follow many Spaces but this is not because I don’t like the Blogs / Spaces that I visit, it is mainly to cut down on all of the hundreds of e mails that WordPress like to send me for every single thing that happens around here, it is a fetish that they have but it clutters up my inbox and so I choose to follow via my blogroll, instead of clicking ‘follow’.

    Yes that means more work to find out who has posted something new but in the positive sense it also helps to build a finer friendship, as one has to make the effort if one wants to keep in touch with everyone on the blogroll.

    Okay enough of my wittering and I hope that you find those meaningful friends, the one’s that choose to follow and call into your world of blogging on a regular basis, those are the true followers my friend.

    Have a very nice rest of evening and
    a superb start to your Wednesday too 🙂

    Androgoth

    • Thank you, I do have some wonderful WP friends, but I’m just a little sick of messed up motives. I get way too many people who are nice to me in real life because I’m disabled, and I just don’t want any similar bs here.

      I turned off all the email notifications from WP, so that is not a problem anymore, but yeah, it was crazy for a while. I’m not loving the “this was your best day for likes” notifications. I need to find a way to turn those off.

      Anyway, I hope you have a good day too, and thanks for reading my venting post.

      • You are very welcome and I hope that you don’t think that I have locked you out of my Space through any negativity, it is because I have limited slots available and as you feel that my Space is not for you, then I had no choices but to use the slot for someone else, however I will continue to call into yours if this is acceptable to you, and I will not be offended if you wish me not to do so my friend…

        You are right about the ‘Likes’ as some people just click that and don’t even bother to read the postings and I too can do without being reminded of likes when they mean absolutely nothing…

        Be well my friend 🙂

        Androgoth Xx

        • Thanks, and I understand about kicking me out. 😉 yes, feel free to stop by here anytime. If I feel like I don’t want you around, I’ll let you know, but I usually don’t have a reason to not want people around, as long as they are here cause they want to be.

          • I can let you back in if you wish? Indeed you could just
            call into my guestbook whenever you have the opportunity,
            and so avoid my horror scripts all together, I have other
            friends that don’t care for my postings and that is okay…

            Androgoth Xx

              • What a very nice thing to say El Guapo…
                Do have a most enjoyable rest of evening 🙂

                Androgoth

              • He’s kind of sweet huh? Really, I don’t know him well enough to make that speculation cause he kicked me off his site, but at least we know he is smart because of that.

            • To be honest, I didn’t even really read the whole thing…skimming, but it was the pics that caused me to jump to the end and tell you I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into. If you only have limited space, you should save it for an avid fan, but I wouldn’t mind reading one or two of your favorite posts. So, maybe let me in for a few days and tell me which writings you like the best, and then I can tell a little better if I like the site or not. I didn’t expect to be kicked off so soon, or I wouldn’t have started teasing you right away. I actually am quite a fan of horror stories, as long as they are really scary, psychological thriller stuff. I can’t make a good assesment at this point.

              • I never actually add the scary ones, or
                my reader base would be zilch within a
                few readings, I write on here for fun but
                just very mediocre scripts that take no
                longer than fifteen minutes or so, many
                are just five minute wonders…

                I don’t trust these Networks enough to add
                the very best of my work, copyrighted they
                are but this does not guarantee that peeps
                don’t pinch them for whatever…

                Kicking you off as you put it was just the
                reaction to your dislike, and of course for
                the limited slots on my Private Space…

                Have a wondrously fine
                evening now my friend…

                Androgoth Xx

                • That is understandable, and yeah, I don’t trust these people either. (Especially El Guapo) they will steal from you in a heartbeat. Your reaction is completely understandable, and I’ll leave you alone. I could back and forth comment forever. It is my favorite part of WP. You have a great night too.

      • Hey wait, you’re a *whispers* cripple? Oh man this changes everything *unfollows you*
        And then runs to hide behind EG right quick .. grins ..

        I have noticed a few posts like this on blogs lately, I must be the worst blogger ever, I get a buzz out of my stats but it doesn’t phase me if I get 0 readers one day and 1000 the next (altho I do remember the day I hit 1300 something I nearly died laughing) and I wouldn’t even know how to tell if someone unfollowed me .. do I get notified if they do?

        Anyway, I am one of those people who randomly pops into your blog and says something then disappears for awhile. I do it to all the blogs I follow .. but you can’t make me unsub so there!!

        • That is funny. You are definitely okay. In fact, I really didn’t write that about bloggers at all. Well, kind of. I don’t ever want people to come to my blog because they feel obligated to, or to follow me and then later think they can’t unfollow me because I’ll get mad, or know it was them, or any other thing. I just don’t want any bs. If you follow me, and enjoy following me stay, or if you follow me cause you forgot you did, that is fine too. I think the pity followers are the ones I just really don’t want. The whole idea of doing something because you would “feel bad” if you didn’t just kind of sickens me at the moment. I am hormonal though, so that might be a factor. 😉

          • No need to hide, LITFL. We’ll face Hobbler together. We can take her!
            (unless she rolls over our feet, but that would just be fighting dirty!)

          • After I wrote that post I thought “ya know this woman doesn’t know me helluva well she could be mightily pissed about my cheek” but then I figured you’d take EG out first so I’d be okay .. *grins* I like this hormonal concept .. I have NEVER done it .. so basically, I can act however the hell I want and blame it on the moon, right? I am SO giving this a whirl!!!!

            As to not wanting BS, I am with you there .. and do enjoy your blog .. think I got hooked when you did that one whilst in hospital a few weeks back ..

      • It is really not about the “like” button. I just don’t want people to feel obligated to visit my blog, follow my blog, like my blog or anything else. I just want to keep it real.

        • My Facebook friends often comment about how they wish there was a “dislike” button… I have always responded that I hope they never do that. We have enough negativity in our world.

          … but every once in while, I come across a site that I really REALLY wish had a “dislike” on it.

    • I don’t have a problem with people just liking the posts…I really don’t mind even if they don’t like or click like, or comment or anything like that. I just want people to not just click follow because of some stupid reason. Even if they just really like (not necessarily click like) a post or two, that is great, but it is the volume of people that seems strange to me. Honestly though, I think I was more upset about real world stuff than blog world stuff, and I don’t want the blog world to turn into the same thing. I think most people here really are connecting with me on some level or they wouldn’t choose to follow in the first place.

  2. I can’t go anywhere. For some reason, maybe it was El Guapo, but there was Super Glue on your site the first time I visited… so, hell. I’m stuck. I guess it sucks to be you to have me hovering over your internet waves.

    I like and respect that you want to keep it real. I don’t wear any makeup when I read your posts, so does that count as not being fake when I’m around you? 😉 (yes, the traditional winkie winkie – and I don’t mean the kind in a man’s pants).

    Hope you are well. Headed home in a few minutes – one last dash at blogs before I head out my office door.

  3. Interesting read. My philosophy on the follow is simple. I hit follow when I enjoy something, true, BUT, I then go through a kind of vetting thing. I’ll visit every post, then, if I find the site to be not my cup of tea, I’ll change the setting to weekly synopsis. If I find it to be completely uninteresting, i bail. On the like button, I just hit it to let people know I’ve been around, but slowly wean off it and begin to comment. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, so i like to get a feel for who what etc before I put in my 2 cents on a regular basis. Having said that, i kind of think like you on my space. I have no idea why or who visits, but I really enjoy interacting with my regulars. In conclusion, you are indeed my cup of tea and you do have a great group of followers, in many cases I have bengan following some of them as well just because of the comments.

  4. You got too many comments, (boo hoo) so I didn’t read them all. but I am also a bopper, I bopp here and there from time to time because I have too many places to bopp to and not enough time. Twenty four hours, that’s all I get and I have a day job, long commute, but hey, this isn’t about me – unles it is…. cheers and enjoy always and don’t let the creeps get you down.

    • No, it is really not about anyone on here. I was more just venting about real life stuff, and I don’t want it to happen here. I never want people to feel obligated to come around.

  5. A dog? Wow, you wound me. Hobs.
    After all we’ve been through…
    That’s it, I’m going to hack your page and post Ginger’s lederhosen pic.
    That’ll teach you!
    hehehe

    • It is horrible. I wish so much that we were up at the same time. When you wrote this, it was 3am my time. We need to figure out the best mutual time to just battle. How far ahead are you? I thought it was 6 hours, but I am not sure anymore.

          • I haven’t drank since Saturday 🙂

            My lunchtime if I am at my desk is good, evenings I am on for a bit after my dinner, but usually watching TV if at home, I find blogging at work is easier rather than using a laptop I suppose

            • That is good. You need to give your body breaks sometime.

              What time is your lunch break? Actually Joe, I really could stalk you if I wanted. I know tons of stuff about you. But in real life, I am not even close to as crazy as I am on here.

              • Midday, I will probably go for a cigarette and make a sandwich. Sometimes I go out but there is nothing around here, I am in the middle of an industrial estate with nothing to do.

                I think I am different in real life slightly, many people still don’t now about this blog, I prefer it that way, so if anyone mentions it on Facebook from the people who do know I have to delete the comment quickly and then tell them off.

                • Most of the people on my Facebook know I have a blog, but they don’t actually see it much. I used to publish my posts to it, but now I get so into the commenting, and sometimes I am a little too…I don’t know a good word for it…bad, I guess. I only put the boring posts on Facebook now. I wrote about it once…hold on…here is the link: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-6c

  6. Some people like being faked to, normal people don’t.

    So I will ask you this, America is famed for good hospitaity, but having never been does everyone really say have a nice day etc…and is it genuine?

    I get told off at work for not fake laughing at customers stupid jokes. I have good relations with most of them but some expect you to fawn all over them. I can’t do it.

    I told my friend you were doing the MS walk, I said you are in a wheelchair. They said “That’s cheating” I thought you’d approve of that 🙂

    • Honestly, I hate it when people are fake. It would be horrible to have to work somewhere that forced you to fake laugh. I do understand why the employers want you too though. It is for the crazy people out there who think that everything they say deserves special treatment. I don’t feel that way at all. A lot of stuff is mildly funny, but usually I don’t laugh. When people make me laugh out loud for real on wordpress, I usually tell them because it is so rare. I think a lot of Americans fake being nice, but some of the good hospitality is real. Everyone does say “have a nice day, night, time” whatever, and I think that it is real in kind of a half-hearted way mmost of the time. I would like most people to have a nice day, and I think most of us feel that way. Just in general.

      I love that your friend said that. It is the best thing ever. You should get your friend to be on my team too. I’m going to have to order the t-shirt soon though. Anything special you would like to represent you? I thought about putting the flags of the different countries/states, but it seems a little boring. Also, do you want me to call you JoeHoover, Jon Dyson, Suck Up, SU, or what?

        • I loved that interview. How did you get to know all these people? Also, just because your friend is in a band doesn’t mean that I will like him more or anything. Some girls get all worked up for that kind of stuff, but I adore people who give me the finger…or thumb.

          • 🙂

            He is friends with my other half from university days, and I lived with two of the band members in a shared house about 4 years ago too.

            I should feature another friends band soon, very different musically but they just had a slot on the radio here at the weekend.

              • Nah, already had one before I met them. I met loads of new friends through my other half, now I see them more than he does. I like to collect different groups of people so I can have differnt ngihts out, it’s nice tohave the same group of friends but I like to vary things a bit so I keep them all separate, otherwise it gets boring.

                • I completely agree. I get bored quite easily. I noticed the other day that I really have a diverse group of people who are my actual WordPress friends. It really does make things interesting.

  7. simple reason I follow: I like the writing. It is enjoyable. Sometimes I find myself laughing, or disagreeing. As you’ve noticed, I don’t ‘hang onto every word’ nor do I try to analyze it to death. Kinda like following a bear and seeing if he craps anything interesting. Can’t say I love you since I don’t know you, though I do know you are in a wheel chair and have thought about skydiving (how’s that going, BTW?). And you are quirky enough to keep our interest.

    I’m sure there are hundreds of other blogs we could follow for a good time. Something to take our mind off things. Have fun. And I follow some; don’t follow others. I guess you just got the luck of the draw (okay, that’s a pun).

    We also follow because we can respect someone who has MS and is in a wheelchair. We know such a life is hard. So we follow this blog for insights and clues; what keeps you going. This is ‘life saving’ stuff. And yes: we take the internet (and our relationships on it) with a huge grain of salt. “Friends” aren’t friends – aquaintences at best, and they’re too easily made (real friends take time, not merely the pressing of some button). But there’s that anomynity thing. And that’s good sometimes as well, too.

    Good post – and I think one that should be posted in some form in a lot of places. Scientists say our mind can’t cope with ‘too many friends’ (Burnout begins at about 80 to 100). Some of those folks on facebook oughta get a clue: it ain’t a friend if you ain’t really met them and haven’t got a clue.

    • Thanks Jeff! I like you following me. You hold my interest too. I think the fact that there are so many of you helps. 😉 Will you do me a favor and read…I think it is the very last comment on my latest post. It is the one where I am letting all of you bloggers know that I am in freak out mode. I just need some info from another who understands that we all have “moods” and questions about life in general, and friendships, real or not. I am having what I call a crisis of belief, and I posted that to facebook where I have a lot of more religious friends. I just feel like everything is shifting around me…you understand right? Sorry to talk your ear off, I just think that if anyone gets it, it would be you.

      http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-YL

  8. Count me in! I was introduced to your blog by following Edward Hotspur. Your comments to him intrigued me for a while & I read them with interest. So I found your blog & read it for a while, then I followed you. I read your blog every day now. I don’t always comment because you get so many comments & I think it’s sometimes too much, so I just Like so you know I’ve been there. I love some of the “talks” we have had & would hate to lose you. I like your insight on things & your compassion. I also like your teasing – although I owe you a big one for April Fool’s still! Can I stay? It’s definitely not a pity party with me!

    • Of course you can stay. I love having you here. I have been getting a lot of comments lately. They are usually just back and forth between people, but that to me is better than the actual post. I haven’t been bugging Hotspur as much because he is pretty busy. Most of the commenting action has been with JoeHoover and ElGuapo. Anyway, I am glad that you are here because you want to be. Really, I didn’t lose any followers after that post, so I guess everyone is. The April Fool’s payback? Just don’t forget. I think everyone else is over it, which means the fun is dying down. 😉

      • One of the things I like most about your blog are the comments back & forth. But I have to admit, just the last couple of days I’ve had to skip reading all your comments in my desperate effort to get caught up again. I’ve been struggling for the last 3 weeks with being behind & then I can’t get anything written, so now I’ve lost most of my followers so when I do write no one pays any attention!

        • It seems like it is always one way or the other…either my posts get a lot of attention, and the I get behind on others, or my own post aren’t really getting many comments, but on those days, I try to look over everyone’s stuff. Sometimes they haven’t really put anything new on there. You just have to do what you can, I think. Thanks for coming over and reading!

  9. Hocus pocus! That’s a lot of comments! I debated about whether or not I should add to your inbox, but I thought I would just say “Whew! I’m safe!” 😀

    That fake bit- I am pretty sure most of the world is actually like that. It’s easy to click along when nothing is wrong with you and feel like you’ve got the world by the tail. And no offense to anyone else, but I think you have to have a brush with death (like serious illness, for example) to be in a place to completely “get it.”

    Pretty sure I’m not going to worry about a funeral- it’s for the living, and if they feel they need it, so be it. They can come and look at me in the jar………..

      • Of course! I’m am certain I have been there, too. It’ll pass as it usually does……..

        I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in me that’s viable to be donated, courtesy of my medication…….. meh.

  10. That was a good post, Hobs! A really good post. Golly, but I got a kick out of it. Yeah, I really did. You certainly know how to put words together to form a sentence, and then do it again a few times until there are several sentences. At least 75% of the time, which is excellent! You’re doing great. Keep up the work that you’re doing, or paying someone to do.

    • The loveable asshole is back! Ah, I’ve missed you. Pathetic huh. Anyway, yes I am a mistress of wordplay. I grab them…throw them against the wall, wrestle their arms into submission to the handcuffs that will lock them in a perfect position for me to have my way with them. Sometimes they resist, but I know how to make them obey my every command. They love me. They hate me. They will be mine…

      The only thing I pay someone else to do is to clean up the mess…

  11. For the record, I’m following you because I love the content of your blogs and the way you write. Plus, my stuff is way too serious sometimes and I need to step away from it. 🙂

  12. You know, I personally don’t question the motives of people who follow me, and will even play along sometimes, because I think of the numbers game as a meter of how consistent I’m being in not freaking out my readers. If I didn’t want readers, I wouldn’t be posting stuff on the Net. That’s how I think of it, anyway. Hope you’re well.

  13. Catching up on blog reading and yours are usually the first ones I like to catch up with. I follow you because you are intelligent, honest, funny…you have amazing writing skills. I also follow you because I love you and not in that “hurry up and call a shrink” kind of way. You’re safe. 🙂 xo

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