This could in theory be a humorous post, but I’m not really in a laughing mood, so this is the real deal…
You are a pity follower – Pity followers often find you when you are first starting a blog. They click “follow” because they remember what it was like when they started, and they know that if they start following you, you will probably start following them soon.
I piss you off – Sure sometimes I am occasionally tolerable, but there are some things I write that really get under your skin. I don’t really understand why you would follow someone who annoyed you, and my feelings will not be hurt if you ditch me.
You are in love with me – For some reason I don’t think I have to worry about this too much, but for the record, you should not follow someone who you are in love with. If you are doing that, you should probably see a psychiatrist and fall in love with them instead. At least they will be equipped to deal with you.
You are just waiting for something bad to happen – This is like watching a race car or a stunt man. You tell yourself that you are there for the show, but secretly you are hoping that they crash and burn. I do that enough to not need fans egging me on.
I remind you of your mother – Same advice as the ”in love with me”. Find a shrink.
You are an entertainment junkie – I might be occasionally entertaining, but there are plenty of times when I am just boring, or too philosophical, or something. I don’t want you to risk it.
You follow me because I follow you – If this is the case, please don’t feel obligated to follow me. I wouldn’t be following your blog if I didn’t love it, and my love is unconditional.
I once wrote a post you liked – If it was only that one time, and you clicked “follow” in a moment of extreme bliss, but you have never been close to that feeling with any of my other posts, you can stop. I won’t hold it against you.
The reason I am writing about this is because I see enough “fake niceness” to not want to see it here too.
If you really enjoy my writing and you follow me because of that, you are my favorite type of follower. If you only stop in every once in a while, but each time you do, it is a good experience, that is great. Even if you started following me a long time ago, and you never see this post because you forgot you even followed me, that is understandable.
If any of the listed reasons are why you are here, please just stop. I am the kind of girl who makes invitations to her funeral to avoid crap like that. I will have more respect for you if you just click unfollow, than if you stay on here for a stupid reason. Please don’t misinterpret my tone of writing with this. I am not mad, and I am not accusing anyone of doing that. I just want to make it clear that I am at the point with this whole blogging experience that I would like to move beyond numbers or “likes” and start building relationships.
I value my true blog friends more than they could ever know, and I would like to have a closer friendship with all of you, so I just am trying to weed through some ulterior motives here. Thanks for understanding.