Trifextra: Goldilocks and the Three Bears

This weekend’s Trifecta writing challenge is to remake the story of Goldilocks.

They watched from the shadows.

She came into their home. Sat in their chairs. Ate their food. Slept in their beds. She mocked their preferences. She despised their tastes. She stole their solitude.

They watched. She would be no more.

67 thoughts on “Trifextra: Goldilocks and the Three Bears

  1. I love this. You really summed up the story beautifully in just a few words. You are quite talented at telling a complete story briefly. Well done!

    Good luck in the challenge!

    • That means so much to me. I have a problem with talking too much, so these Trifecta challenges are helping me to learn how to cut to the chase. Thank you so much for the compliment.

      • Oh honey I have the same problem. It seems we have a lot in common actually, I’m disabled as well. Not with MS, but with CRPS. I got me one of those invisible illnesses. Hehe πŸ™‚

        • My MS was invisible for a while, but now it’s pretty obvious. Sorry about yours. It is sometimes more difficult when you have a problem others can’t see. They don’t understand how you can feel so bad, but look so good.

      • Oh, Grimm never put happy endings on his stories. They were only Disney-ed up in the last century. Again, great interpretation on the prompt. And kudos to being the only one I’ve read so far who didn’t take a thousand words to tell the story.

        • Thanks again. Grimm told it like it really is. I am getting pretty tired of living in a pretend world where everything is supposed to turn out perfectly and we all dance into the sunset.

          Anyway, thanks for the part about keeping it short too. I always think that with Trifecta there are so many great writers and great stories, I prefer to keep mine short so people can move on quickly to all the other good stuff. I also really talk to much, and am trying to learn how to just say what I want to say and move on. It is a whole lot easier in writing than it is in talking though. πŸ˜‰

  2. What do you mean by “keep mine short so they can move on to the good stuff”, your writing is good & we should be able to savor it if we like. I think you’re brooding too much on whether you talk too much – we love you just the way you are!

  3. Love the rhythm and the drama of this piece. I feel like the very last sentence might be a tiny bit overly dramatic, maybe, but I loved the sentiment, and the hint of dire things to come.

    • Yeah, it probably is a little over the top. I thought about taking that last sentence off, but I don’t know. Maybe I should say “they got out the duct tape and potato peeler. She would regret the day she ventured in to their house.” πŸ˜‰

  4. Great job at capturing the entire story in so few words. And you conveyed the implied violence and retribution beautifully.
    Thanks for playing. Come back for the weekday challenge. I can’t wait to see what you write.

  5. Wow, eerie. Creepy. Unexpected.

    And the fact that you managed to deliver an entry to such a prompt in so few words… I couldn’t do that. I considered it, but I just couldn’t think of any way to. You succeeded though, and I applaud you.

  6. I have ‘confidence’ that you will come up with another thought provoking, gas inducing (for laughing, just in case), piece. πŸ™‚

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