Public Service Announcement:

Do you have trouble falling or staying asleep? Have you tried sound machines with nature noises or soft music but still can’t sleep? Well, we have the solution for you.

Introducing the new, customizable sleep inducer. With 5 different pre-programmed settings guaranteed to send even the biggest insomniac into a deep slumber.

Setting #1 – Wife talking about feelings (also speaks of her book club)

Setting #2 – Kid’s piano recital (several songs, as well as commentary by the instructor)

Setting #3 – Sunday morning service (non-denominational so everyone can use it)

Setting #4 – Thanksgiving dinner (also boring conversations with extended family)

Setting #5 – Sleeping drunk off (includes an alcohol and vomit throat spray for full effect)

But wait, if you order now, we will also give you a recorder for other boring stuff. Use it for business meetings, automated phone calls, rocking baby to sleep, etc. (Just pay separate shipping and handling)

You can get all this for only three easy payments of $19.95.

You can not afford to miss this offer. Call now (888) bores me. (888)267-3763

Listen to these testimonials:

“The ‘sleeping drunk off’ throat spray was so realistic that my wife thought I was drinking too much again and left me. Thanks sleep inducer.”

“Every time my boss calls a business meeting, I grab the recorder and actually look forward to the meeting because I know I will get good sleep that night.”

“Even though I don’t have kids, I use the ‘piano recital’ setting to remind me of why I don’t have kids. This thing is awesome!”

You can get good sleep too. This offer is only good until supply runs out. Call now!

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55 thoughts on “Public Service Announcement:

    • I feel like I should charge extra for that setting. But what if people wouldn’t pay? I would be so disappointed. I think I would get angry too. Sometimes when I start thinking about stuff I feel so overwhelmed that I am not sure I can continue… πŸ˜‰

  1. Do you ship overseas? I would like to put some people to sleep elsewhere. These will top my birthday gift list.
    Red.

  2. Pingback: I Get So Promotional, Baby, Every Time I Think of You « whatimeant2say

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