Must read…

I have been involved in a lot of horrible things with more than one person. They were wrong. I realize that now. If anyone brings that to my blog, I will block them. I will not interact with anyone on any other blog like that. I told a lot of people today that they needed to stay off here. Since I was the one instigating that activity, I believe that my true friends will have no problem with staying appropriate. If so, you can stay here, but nothing other than PG material especially with regards to sexually related things.

I need to be able to interact with everyone in an acceptable manner. Not just a carefully selected group that I had neverย acted otherwise with. I’m pretty sure most of you can understand that, and if you can’t, then this is not the place for you. Leave.

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22 thoughts on “Must read…

  1. Just block them without reading if you know who it is. When I was still drinking a friend once said “If you sleep with dogs, you will eventually get fleas” which I took to heart and severed all connection with ex pals and drinking buddies. 29 years later I have different friends that don’t entice me to “get their fleas” Stay strong in order to cope. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thanks. I think that I was the one giving people fleas, but I really believe that things, although hard now, are in the process of becoming better.

          • I do too. I know my love but I sometimes doubt my family’s even though I know I’m being unjust, I think it is part of my depressive state. Because I’ve changed physically the whole partner dynamic has changed. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

            • Me too, and the only places where I can be/am normal are places where no one sees me. Okay, I’m not trying to sound self centered or whiny…it’s just the way it is.

    • I’ve missed you too LITFL. I have no idea what a stroppy bint is, but I’m going to pretend it is something really good. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • I’m a stroppy bint too,so yeah let’s say it’s good *grins* I’m about to jump on a plane and go off to work. But will try and check back in here and see what you’re up to! ๐Ÿ™‚

              • mmm kinda. But living in hotels and eating out actually does get tiresome. I used to think people who said that were just wankers, now I am on hahah .. Take today, it’s Monday morning 8am. I’ve had an average coffee cos I don’t know the best places here where I am. I have no idea where I am having lunch or what I am having. Or dinner. As well, I slept badly on a bed that was too hard and I’m a little bit cold cos I didn’t know what to pack clothes-wise and oh yeah it’s Monday I’m cranky, can you tell?? hee hee .. Hold me *sighs* first mtg of the day is over coffee in 27 mins, then the week begins proper!

                • I’m sorry LITFL. Living in the future sounds rough. It is still Sunday here, but I guess you knew that… I understand what you’re saying. I love to travel, but there is a lot of stuff that is out of your control when you do it, and the sleeping on strange beds would suck. I hope your meeting goes well…or went well if it is already over.

                    • Sorry you aren’t sleeping well. I would sing you a song and rub your feet and tuck you in and stuff, but you know…we aren’t together yet. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m good, and I saw your 3 men wanting you thing…so, now I’m a little jealous, but anyway..

  2. You can go to your dashboard and set your comments where you moderate each of them. If you have continued issues, try that. Your blog should be your safe place.

  3. ๐Ÿ™‚ Sound like you did a little bit of ‘human’ thing Hobs – I wouldn’t beat yourself up too bad. We are all human beings and do ‘human’ things – stupid ones sometimes – that’s what makes us human: all those weaknesses, frailties and all – and the ability to realize: oops! I was walking down the wrong road! Time to turn it around.

    As you know, the one who is hardest to deal with when you make those kinds of …. realizations – is yourself. Usually ‘we’ beat ourselves up pretty good before we get our head on straight again and realize (and forgive) ourselves for “being human” again.

    As to the physical dynamics of your relationships – well, that’s something you oughta (gotta) or should be talk out with those affected. The internet is a great ‘sounding board’ and can remove some of the stress from a situation prior to pursuing it. Think: arguments with yourself, or defusing your (whatever), or taking logical looks at things – whatever. “We” are ‘here’ (on the internet), – but THEY are the people you have to deal with on a daily basis. You can’t “turn them off” the way you can us – no closing the laptop cover and walking away. Just doesn’t work like that with Real Life – even if we want it to.

    As an example: as a DID person I have to put up with my ‘wandering’ side and the teenager side and some ‘others’ who have for years spurred (and spurned) me on to some pretty erratic behavior. Some of ‘them’ want to ‘leave’; have since I was 21. And I have to think through it rationally, presenting it to ‘them’, saying: “Theoretically we could just ‘walk away’ – but into what? What kind of life would we lead? Start all over? Are you kiddin’?” and now I can “at my age?!! LOL!” After some pause and consideration the idea seems . . . well, either insane, childish, or both. Given the source gives the reason, LOL.

    It’s hard sometimes to realize just how much others may love or cherish us – despite all our faults and disabilities. I have a really hard time with that one. I am hoping you can do better than I do on that one. They say women are much more ‘keyed in’ to others emotionally. And I am hoping that is true. ๐Ÿ™‚

    You have fun, Hobs, take care, will be “reading ya”!

    From “the guys” in the loony bin, LOL!

    • Ah Jeff…I always like hearing from you. You understand a lot about me, which is sometimes a scary thought. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Sometimes I wonder about whether I have a few undiagnosed alters. Sometimes it would be nice to turn off real life for a bit, but the ability to walk away from stuff for a bit does make the internet appealing.

      I hope that I can do better realizing how much people love too. I have worked pretty hard to shut down a lot of emotion, so it might take some work and changes in thinking. Thanks for your wise words and experienced advice.

      • If it’s wisdom it’s been hard earned through painful / hard / dark experience – and that’s what scares ME sometimes! People say I understand . . . too much. They say there’s only one way you can get that in ‘real life’. Scary to think I lived so much at such a young age (52), LOL!! But then again, my ambition was to achieve the mental maturity of an 80 year old when I was twenty or so. I’m gonna post a post on that soon. About “Ol’ Smokin’ Joe” and what he taught me . . . and the path he put me on. (And me! so young and stupid and never realizing just what it was I was reaching for.)

        I don’t ‘say’ a lot of what I suspect about your emotional / mental situation, Hobs, and for good reason. I don’t want to give you issues you don’t have! (That can happen, ya know!). Safety first! ๐Ÿ™‚ And yes – I think everyone is insane, at least a little bit. You can’t go through life without going insane. It’s just figuring out what each person’s quirks are.

        Everyone has “sides” and “parts” that play tug-of-war on their thoughts, emotions, and heart, with the mind going “you can’t be going/doing that!” – and oh boy, the Sh**! is on. As I think you found a taste of it. (wry smile).

        I can say I just got a feelin’ and a hunch on what went wrong; some folks got their feelings bumped, and you got yours. But the main thing here, Hobs, is to go gentle on yourself FIRST – cuz’ while you may see yourself as being the reason, the fact is it usually goes deeper than that. There may be some ‘hurt’ under the hood that’s hurting you bad . . . so you reached out “here” on the Internet. And that’s okay. And perhaps you got yourself deluded you could go one way (the heart) while the mind was going in another . . . and another ‘part’ in another . . . and another trapped inbetween, going “Awk!” in horror . . .

        But you ‘straightened out’. Sure the boat’s probably still rocky, still got some leaks – but it sounds like you’re on a straight keel. Might have some damage from some rocks (metaphorically speaking) both thrown and received. But if EVERYONE can agree (and this is at home, not here) that they still LOVE each other and wanna make it work – well, I reckon it’ll be okay. Chalk one up to “Lesson Learned” – and a bit wiser (albeit still a bit bruised).

        Remember this is JUST my opinion based on waaayyy too little info – which is good. From the sounds of it most of your issues at are home – and I know WE have learned: talking with the folks you love is good. Of course the internet thing is therapeutic – extremely so! – but not to the exclusion of the Real Thing: Life and the Ones you Love – and who love YOU.
        (‘switch’ warning)
        BTW: that “flirtatious energy” we learned to take it out on our wife – AND this last year by breaking down our inhibitions and our adult losing control we learned to allow our ‘littles’ to come up and give her the affection they craved; and our teenager has learned to direct his affections there rather than seek it outside – all which is a ‘good thing’ – and our spouse is a lot happier; says we are much more spontaneous and fun to be around because we will ‘step back’ and allow our littles some kisses (a bunch!) – LOL, littles trying to take over – but anyway … I hope you get the idea.

        Going for some sugar now. From my wife, LOL. Until later, Hobsey old boy girl whatever. LOL!

        (Teen: long post, Hobs: sorry. Matthew says “heeeyyy!” in his gay style, LOL!)

        • Lol, where to start…

          Yes, wisdom, and sometimes I think those of us who have had some hard things to deal with, have a little more than others. More in some ways I should say…we might be a little behind in other areas.

          Don’t give me any issues I don’t already have, I have plenty already. The sides of ourselves can get a little hard to keep us with at times. You know, when I was younger I had “personalities” for each of my nicknames; and my real name, the one I go by now, was always the contemplative and more depressed in general one. Not suggesting anything there, just making an observation. ๐Ÿ˜‰

          Things are actually going pretty well now, and for the most part I am not being too hard on myself anymore. Some really good things have come out of this situation, so we can’t just focus on the bad stuff. I think I did think that I could go in a few directions at once and I sure wasn’t giving all of myself to anything. That is something I don’t know if anyone can do… that is why we write right? To give ourselves a healthy outlet for the more disturbing parts of ourselves. Okay, maybe not. It sounded good for a sec.

          The flirtatious energy is definitely well placed in my husband, and we are having fun exploring that side of ourselves. I will be trying to catch up on reading some of your posts soon. I am way behind on my blog reading. Thanks Jeff.

          Teen: yes, Matthew heeeyyy back, and hi to everyone else too. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Tell your wife hi as well, and as always, I admire her for putting up with everyone’s antics. ๐Ÿ™‚

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