Whiners of the World Unite!

I have a dream…men and women of all nations, uniting for a common good. Of course, with our luck, that “common good” would turn out to be some pyramid scheme.

Let’s just have a pity party and whine about it. Oh yeah, we already are.

If you have not written a post full of misery, you should. Therapists around the world make money off whiners. Why not feel sorry for yourself free here? The blog world is a perfect place to talk about your problems.

Most of us have blogging friends who care. Or we are one of those mean, and/or whiny-every-day people who has already lost everyone. You might be new to blogging, and you are just thinking about what you will complain on your blog about. If that is the case, check out the posts of people who have already had their pity parties today, and see how it should be done.

Rebecca2000: WTF Friday #4

Roly: Hobbler’s Pity Party (apparently he’s too good to have his own 😉 )

LifeInTheFarceLane: Pity party, party pooper?

Lisa Summerlin: All In A Day’s Whine

Edward Hotspur: Hobbler’s Pity Party is the post he wrote, but it isn’t really very whiny, so I’ll link to His Blog in General. He is a good whiner and a great writer when he wants to be. Or is it the other way around…

Hobbler: It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To

No matter what your situation is, there are people who are worse off than you. There are many more people who are better off than you, so if you can’t think of anything else to say, complain about those people.

Remember to link, and each day I will painstakingly, with much effort, while my hair is on fire, etc. put a list together of all your “poor me” posts. Also, skip your blog roll this weekend, and read these people’s  posts. I promise you won’t regret it.

It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To

Is it just me, or does she seem too happy for that song?

Top Ten Things You Should Pity Me For

10. My size. It doesn’t matter what size I am. It could always be better.

9. This is a pity party. That should be reason enough.

8. My butt hurts. All the time. Worst thing about being in a wheelchair.

7. I’m not a millionaire. Other people are. Guess I’m not good enough for that.

6. Nobody is coming to my pity party. Oh, you’re here? Well, aren’t you lucky. Since I called you nobody, you have something to feel sorry for yourself about. No one called me nobody.

5. All the stupid scratch tickets I’ve wasted money on.

4. No one reads/buys my book. It isn’t because I haven’t written one. I haven’t written one because no one would read or buy it.

3. My dog died. When I was like, 19. It wasn’t really my dog. I don’t actually like dogs much. Maybe you should feel sorry for me having a dog.

2. Dog lovers hate me now.

1. People always want me to give them a reason to pity me. Just do it!

There’s a few questions in the comments, and feel free to add your own, then go write your pity party if you haven’t already.

Pity Party Starts Tomorrow

This is a quick reminder that the pity party starts tomorrow, and it’s going through Monday now. WIM2S and Mooselicker are in for sure now too. It will probably be the best blog experience ever. If it’s not, that’s one more thing to whine about, so either way it will be awesome.

Remember to check this blog out, but more importantly, have your own pity party on your blog and link here, so we can find you. Have fun…but not too much fun, or it will ruin the mood.

Overanalytical Pity Party

In the spirit of this weekend’s Pity Party, I thought I would reblog this. I’m not trying to sound like a broken record here, but if you aren’t participating in the fun this weekend, you need to. It is time for the world to hear about our problems!

Plays Well With Words

This relaxing moment brought to you by Bob McFarrin

(whistling) Here’s a little song i wrote, you might want to sing it note for note, don’t worry, be happy
in every life we have some trouble, when you worry you make it double don’t worry, be happy

Okay, but what if I don’t really want to sing it right now. I am actually having dinner…Wait, did he just say worrying will double my trouble?

dont worry be happy now dont worry be happy dont worry be happy dont worry be happy dont worry be happy aint got no place to lay your head, somebody came and took your bed, don’t worry, be happy

A little repetitive don’t you think? Are you kidding me? Someone took your bed and you are just sitting around whistling? Shouldn’t you be calling the police or something…be happy?

the landlord say your rent is…

View original post 395 more words

Pity Party Reminder

I’m a little depressed. Not like you care, but anyway…

That was a lie. I’m not actually depressed, but now I’m feeling guilty for lying.

That was another lie. I don’t feel guilty at all.

This weekend (8/31 through 9/02) is The Hobbler’s first annual Pity Party. It might not be annual because it is 2012 and the world might end…

Anyway, here are some of the other great bloggers who will/should be participating.


Madame Weebles




She Drives Me Crazy

Lisa Summerlin

John Phillips


Edward Hotspur

Michelle at Motley News



Marina Schulz Tork


kgwaite (maybe)

Sandra Tyler (@SFiberworks)  (maybe)

Love & Lunchmeat – Actually already wrote one. Click her link!

whatimeant2say (maybe)

maryisidra (okay, she’s not actually a blogger, but a fun reader)

PMAO (is going out of town, as is Joe Hoover, but I’m sure you can find some whining on their blogs somewhere).

If I missed any of you who said you’d be there or write your own post for it, please let me know.

I’ve also personally begged asked some others to come, but I haven’t heard back yet. I was trying to find everyone, but I’m sure I’ve missed some.

Anyway, the party is for EVERYONE and it is dedicated to you. Yes you, the whiny person reading this. I mean the, um, perfectly fine person reading this. Just come.

OAA: Joe’s Call


Jerry: Oh man, I could destroy you. Get a preacher in here, order some boxes of wine; funny stuff. Anyway, I’ve heard enough for now Sue. Who wants to order a pizza?

Everyone: I do

Jerry: That’s what Bob said. (Laughing) Alright, everybody pitch in. Joe, you can call if you promise not to call 911. (Hands Joe the phone)


Joe: Alright, what toppings? Actually, nevermind, I’ll pick. I’m going to step outside for a minute.

Jerry: No funny stuff…

Joe: (Outside, dials phone) Ring, ring,

   911, what is your emergency?

Uhh, wrong number… Ring, ring

Flab Cabs, where your flab needs our cab. In case of heart attack, please call an ambulance. How can we help you?

Yes, I need to be picked up outside of the OAA building on 5th and Main.

We’ll send a driver right out. By the way, there is a 600lb weight limit. That won’t be a problem right?

No, I’m just a really tall Asian.

  Ha, ha, ha…good one! Hey Mac, get a load of what this guy told me… (click)

Sigh…ring, ring

Piggie’s Pizza, our pizza’s as big around as you are. What can I get you?

What’s up with all the fat lines?

That’s America dude. Land of the free, home of the whopper, Get it? Whopper?

Yeah. I get it. I need 4 of your Bypass Biggies. Seriously? Bypass?

That’s Pizza dude. We load you up, your heart shuts us down. Extra grease?

Uh, no…I want one supreme, one meats, one cheese, one veggie. 5th and Main. Ask for Bob.

Wow! All that is for one dude? Massive! I bet he’ll need Flab Cabs to get out of there… (click)

Sigh…(Thinking to himself) Should I have just called 911? Nah, Jerry will probably fall asleep if he lets Jack is talk anyway. They’ll be fine. At least I got the pizzas. Now look at me. They’ve got me overanalyzing. Cabs here…good riddance.

Cab Driver: Hey! You really are a tall Asian! Can I get a pic with my phone? Ha, already done. The guys will never believe this.

Joe: Sigh…just get me out of here.

Out of my mind Trifecta

Just for fun, I thought I’d try an “out of my mind” Trifecta this week. I asked for a main character, setting, and format from you all and took the first suggestions received from 3 different people. I also said I might attempt a random word suggestion.

Character: Garden boy – suggested by Anthony

Setting: Merchant ship’s galley – suggested by H.H.

Format: Poem – suggested by Madame Weebles

Random words: ice and curtains – suggested by Mary I, and “wenis” aka the soft skin on your elbow – suggested by PMAO

Trifecta‘s challenge word was “dinosaur” defined – 3: one that is impractically large, out-of-date, or obsolete

*Any of you Trifectans or other people reading this, I am having a pity party this weekend. I’d love to see you there. For more info: Party Time!

Once there was a garden boy.
The beauty of flowers brought him much joy.
His work was play, or so it seemed
Except when he fell asleep and dreamed.
A merchant ship upon the sea
In the galley, is where he’d be
For there his love washes a dish
Soap bubbles embrace her soft wenis
The movement of the curtain’s lace
Shows a lucky breeze upon her face.
Even the wind desperately tries
To touch her lips, to catch her eyes
A man’s cold heart would melt like ice
With just one word from beauty so nice.
But the gardener knew it wasn’t real
Although his heart desired to steal
This gorgeous creature that he dreamed
It wasn’t meant to be, it seemed.
So waking he would quickly go
To making perfect flowers grow
Lips red as rose, hair sunflower’s gold
His dream? A dinosaur, never to unfold.
Although her heart, he couldn’t keep
He wouldn’t have traded a moment’s sleep.
Even when dreams fail to come true.
They still are part of what makes you, you.