Tips for Back To School Shopping

This is an older post…a year ago yesterday. Anyway, it still applies.

*These tips may not work well for everyone. Some side effects reported are blurred vision, constipation, diarrhea, nausea, headaches, and trouble sleeping. If these continue or are bothersome, stop taking my advice and notify your physician. As with all of my recommendations, it is important to talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of taking my advice You too can have a stress free shopping experience. **Advice not valid in 50 US states and other areas of the world.

Now that the legalities are out-of-the-way, here are some helpful ideas for avoiding the headaches associated with back to school shopping:

#1. Plan ahead – Comfortable walking shoes and clothing are a necessity. Catheterization before the trip will also save you some valuable time and will help you avoid unnecessary embarrassment.

#2. If at all possible, avoid taking your child…this will undoubtably save you time and money as well as the arguments stemming from the “stick to the list” rule. (Solo shopping also allows for a coffee/beer/ice-cream reward after the 4 hour process is finished).

#3. Have reasonable expectations – As any parent knows, whatever store you choose to shop at will not have everything on the list. Analyze the list to find possible substitutions for necessary items. For example, small markers might pass for a box of crayons, 4 quart-sized zipper type baggies = 1 gallon sized, etc.

#4. A “little white lie” might be necessary. (Wondering aloud whose car was on fire in the parking lot might help clear an aisle or two).

#5. Protect yourself – mace, shopping cart bumpers, spikes on the toes of your shoes, rear-view mirror sunglasses, and other precautions can become life-saving if a battle for the last 1″ white binder with a clear plastic cover, or some other needed item breaks out.

I would have given more tips, but the insurance would only allow five tips without two pages of disclaimers. Sorry, good luck, and may God have mercy on your soul.

***All advice given is only available until supply runs out. This advice is prescription only. 5 cent refund in MA, WS, NY and NJ. Only you can prevent forest fires.

22 thoughts on “Tips for Back To School Shopping

    • My MIL did it for us this year. I hate doing it too. I have a few more back to school stuff that I’ll probably repost. I’m slacking off writing for a moment

  1. Hey, you’re still logged on now, right? What’s the time now?

    P.S. Is back-to-school shopping that big a deal?

  2. I still haven’t gone yet… I love the idea of four quart sized baggies instead of a gallon! Surely there’s something they could put in those little baggies. And I am definitely going to wonder aloud about who’s car in is on fire… 😉

    • I’m sure someone has tried it. I am always in the “be nice to the teachers” mode when school starts, but I’d love to try it. Maybe one year I’ll have one kid with quart size and one with gallon, and we can try it as a real joke.

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