Forget this Middle-Age Crap, I Want to be Old

I’m 31…not right in the heart of middle age, but no spring chicken either (who ever thought of that expression spring chicken…sounds like some farmer who might have loved his animals a little too much). Along with having the aches and pains of getting older, I also have the responsibilities of raising children, cooking, cleaning, ironing (ok, I don’t actually do that last one). Life after college is not exactly as wonderful as you might have pictured when you were in high-school.

The other night as I watched “World’s Dumbest”, (yeah I know, but I have to get my writing material somewhere) I saw a clip in which an elderly gentleman ran through the window of a convenience store. After all the ex-celebrities and comedians were done making fun of the clip, they started to explain how it was kind of okay because the guy had missed a medication or something like that and no one was hurt, etc. I couldn’t help thinking that if the crazy driver had not been old his criticisms would have been a lot harsher.

Later my daughter came back after spending the night with grandma and I was met with choruses of “oh, she was great”, “very helpful”, “no bad attitude”. All three at the same time? Grandma’s blessings. Plus grandparents are always talking about how nice it is to spoil the kids, sugar them up, and send them home.

Did you also know that you get guaranteed life insurance if you are 65 or older, but not if you are younger with MS or some other disabilities? AARP gives you discounts on travel and other things. Seniors even eat cheaper at restaurants (sometimes less than children). There are many organizations which have “Senior Appreciation” days with free or reduced admission to different events or attractions.

Also, think of retirement communities. Many people retire somewhere cool like Florida, or they just travel the world in their RV. Even if you can’t afford one of those options, a lot of small town or city retirement communities are basically apartments with wide halls, grab bars, and plenty of neighbors to play dominoes with. Sure there are the downsides of having other people wipe your butt, having to wear a medical alert bracelet, your kids taking care of you, etc. but when you really think about it, are those actually downsides or blessings in disguise?

Personally, getting old sounds better every day.

54 thoughts on “Forget this Middle-Age Crap, I Want to be Old

  1. I believe that you forgot to mention “retirement” as in getting Social Security, and pension checks and not having to go into some office with some A**h*le boss (nowadays much younger than you are) breathing down your neck for eight hours or more each day needing some report or a “high level” overview of the “Grundsky” case for a meeting with the CEO/General Manager in 10 minutes!
    Hang in there , in 35 years or more you’ll get to enjoy it . . . if that word is still in the dictionary. Thanks for your post.

    • Ok, as someone who is on SSDI and who’s parents also get social security, I don’t know if it is blog-mention-worthy. My mom still has to work, and I would be homeless if I didn’t have a husband, but you are right that it is another old-age bonus. (Especially not having to deal with bosses that are jerks). I think after I get over sulking about being too young (so probably tomorrow) I will have to update this post and mention Social Security as well as Medicare and why I don’t want to be young either. Ok so I’ll probably have to write a new post to fit all that in, but at least I won’t have to watch World’s Dumbest tonight for blog ideas! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. This is much like losing your hair. S**t or get off the pot, ya know? If you are either old or young, you get special exceptions for darn near everything. If you have a full head of hair- well, you have a full head of hair. If you are bald, you get your choice of wigs. If you just have patchy hair, or some bald spots (this applies to men, too!) you have the dilemma of what to do next- do you comb over and buy stock in Aqua Net? Shave it and go for broke?

    No, this in-the-middle stuff is crap, I’m tellin’ ya. I can’t wait to get to AARP age and get a real break on every kind of insurance! ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. I’m well into “middle age” โ€” I’m 53 (So I can expect to live to 106, right?) and as I get older, being a senior is looking less like the fun vacation people see it as. One of the big problems, not counting the limited number of birthdays you have left, is that you continue to see young adults the same way you saw them when you were that age but you have to live with them seeing you as being some strange relic from the past, out of touch and obsolete.

    • Okay, maybe they will see you as that, but the older you get, the less you care about what other people think right? That is why you can dye your hair blue, wear Christmas shirts with bells and bright decorations, and other things that might have embarrased you when you were younger.

      • True, people generally lose their need for approval as they get older but what is this mystical substance “hair” that you can dye blue? Oh, yes… I seem to remember that stuff from long ago!

        Great post!

        • ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m not bald and I probably won’t be (I think it is mostly heredity), but I might have some gray already and I feel like I’m 80…just without all the benefits.

  4. I’ll be 60 in February and appreciate all the discount help I can get. No children or spouse to help me – so the AARP comes in handy! Any discount when medical issues – mine being Cancer which I have not cure at the moment and should have been dead 5 years ago I’m grateful for any little donation I can get!

  5. Oh, man. You are a kid. How did I not know how young you are until now? I have to stop deferring to you. It is unseemly. And you wanna talk about aches and pains, you young whippersnapper…

  6. I’m looking forward to getting old because I can be as overtly bitchy as I want. If I do that now, people just say, “Bitch.” But when I’m old, people will just say “Oh, she’s just a cranky old lady.” That, and all those AARP perks.

  7. Oh, look… somehow I already commented on this… hmmmm.
    So I will say this; Spring chicken is a chicken that is old enough to be full sized for eating purposes, but not old enough to start getting tough and stringy.

  8. Every old person I have known (and you KNOW, Hobbler, I’ve spent a life time studying them, eg. the tale of “Smoking Joe”) – has said the same things.
    “Old age sucks” and,
    “Old age ain’t for wimps.”

    I’m only 53, but my body is a lot older (according to my doc) in some ways. (all that damage done during my Marine Corps careers, and some that was done by the Army). I ache 24/7 365 days a year. Have for the past 24+ some odd years. Only getting worse. I don’t WANT to “get old” – but I already have.

    Trust me: enjoy it while you are young. As best you can.
    “Old age ain’t for wimps.”
    Ain’t that ever the truth (wryly smiling – and I’m not even there yet!)

    • I already have the aches and pains. I’m in a wheelchair and I can’t drive. I see doctors constantly and am on tons of medication.

      I’m already old too, but without the benefits. I doubt I’ll make it to real old age. MS is not a fatal condition, but with the broken hip and liver destroying medications, I think I’ll die young. Hope so actually…

      • wry smile. I kinda figured that – the aches, pains, atrophy – and some of those meds are liver killers. When I first read you had MS I knew: life sucks BIG sometimes with that; can be tough, and the prognosis is never very good. If it’s any comfort (with a wry sympathetic glance towards your husband – I think he probably knows in his heart this stuff) – it’s easy to see where it would be easy to just throw in the chips. Declare game lost; Death wins: lets get this over with. Been struggling with that ‘myself’ the past few days – big time. “People problems” – not inside, and really not outside – just how some of ‘us’ view ‘them’, and ‘us’ not fitting and stuff. Minor given your disease. And diseases wear on you – of any kind. Stress can do that to you. A woman my age I know looks 75 years old: she’s had that much stress. She was my ‘mom’ in a lot of ways; she was the mother of those 3 kids who helped ‘raise’ me and mine into learning what a proper family could be. I acted as a buffer and sanity check for her husband sometimes. When I left things kinda fell down for their family.

        I keep asking myself “why not check out. I’m done with this sh**. I’ve had enough, seen enough of this world. I’ve been as good as it gets.” But several reasons hold me back. One is that I think I am not done learning the lessons of this old world. Involving perhaps accepting losses, tho’ I think & hope I got that one. Maybe it’s about learning to grieve. I am hoping not that one; it tears me apart. It is one of ‘our’ sorta missing emotions – like a ghost of one. But not missing enough. Don’t want that kick in the heart again.

        We stick around for our wife of course. She would be devastated. We try not to think of the ‘revenge’ on the folks – for who wins? And my brother would be interiorly devastated by the loss of his little brother. So, like flipping a coin. My pain or theirs. Sometimes I wonder if the cost is too much. Plus there’s the thing: I would feel guilty. And would be “cheating on my lessons and stuff”. When I’m done I’m guessing god is gonna come get me. If there is one. We may be one of our own. It may be you get what you think. Who knows?
        Until later Hobs; as you can see, we haven’t been in the best of moods this last day or two. But all will be fine. Hope you all are okay. ๐Ÿ™‚

        • There are a lot of worse things than MS, but any severe illness is rough.

          I’m not too ready to give up on everything, although sometimes I feel it too. Sorry it’s been rough for you. I seem to go through waves with feeling hopeless, then feeling okay. In the UK there is a man who is “locked in”. He is paralyzed from the neck down and can’t talk. He got a computer program that recognizes eye movements, and will type, and he started a twitter campaign basically for assisted suicide. I am completely supportive of that. Anyone who has suffered severe physical, or emotional pain should be.

          Anyway, I’m sorry you have been feeling bad for a while. I hope it gets better, and we both know it probably will soon. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Have I ever told you that you are a genius? You have some of the most logical reasons for illogical stuff that I know. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I think the whole thing is one giant conspiracy…

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