OAA: Joe’s Call


Jerry: Oh man, I could destroy you. Get a preacher in here, order some boxes of wine; funny stuff. Anyway, I’ve heard enough for now Sue. Who wants to order a pizza?

Everyone: I do

Jerry: That’s what Bob said. (Laughing) Alright, everybody pitch in. Joe, you can call if you promise not to call 911. (Hands Joe the phone)


Joe: Alright, what toppings? Actually, nevermind, I’ll pick. I’m going to step outside for a minute.

Jerry: No funny stuff…

Joe: (Outside, dials phone) Ring, ring,

   911, what is your emergency?

Uhh, wrong number… Ring, ring

Flab Cabs, where your flab needs our cab. In case of heart attack, please call an ambulance. How can we help you?

Yes, I need to be picked up outside of the OAA building on 5th and Main.

We’ll send a driver right out. By the way, there is a 600lb weight limit. That won’t be a problem right?

No, I’m just a really tall Asian.

  Ha, ha, ha…good one! Hey Mac, get a load of what this guy told me… (click)

Sigh…ring, ring

Piggie’s Pizza, our pizza’s as big around as you are. What can I get you?

What’s up with all the fat lines?

That’s America dude. Land of the free, home of the whopper, Get it? Whopper?

Yeah. I get it. I need 4 of your Bypass Biggies. Seriously? Bypass?

That’s Pizza dude. We load you up, your heart shuts us down. Extra grease?

Uh, no…I want one supreme, one meats, one cheese, one veggie. 5th and Main. Ask for Bob.

Wow! All that is for one dude? Massive! I bet he’ll need Flab Cabs to get out of there… (click)

Sigh…(Thinking to himself) Should I have just called 911? Nah, Jerry will probably fall asleep if he lets Jack is talk anyway. They’ll be fine. At least I got the pizzas. Now look at me. They’ve got me overanalyzing. Cabs here…good riddance.

Cab Driver: Hey! You really are a tall Asian! Can I get a pic with my phone? Ha, already done. The guys will never believe this.

Joe: Sigh…just get me out of here.

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