Intellectual property


Ha! I suckered him into it. Actually I didn’t know he wrote it until now, and I’m reblogging to show how sweet he is, not how great I am, although that applies.

Kidding! I’m actually not as conceited as I pretend on my blog.

I Didn't Ask For This

Have you ever wondered what the words Intelectual property really means? In essence intellect is smarts and property is something you own or belongs to you.

The reason I bring this question here is I have never given this much thought, until recently. What brought this to my attention is reading my wife The Hobbler‘s work. She writes the most incredibly funny, dark, meaningful and last but certainly not least intelligent stuff. If you read her (you should) you know what I mean.

It is impressive to see the process from start to finish. How does she do it? How is it possible to be that creative, talented…well, that damn smart? I certainly will never know. I can only stand in awe.

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You’re Invited to the Party of the Year!


Next weekend, everyone is invited to the biggest party of the season. How do I know it’s going to be the biggest party? Because it’s a pity party! Have you ever wanted to share your burdens with the world? Do … Continue reading

Trifextra: Blood Sucker


Trifextra: On to this weekend’s challenge, which will be judged by the community.  The trickiness of this past week’s prompt has us thinking about the various ways we use words.  This weekend we want you to write a 33-word response using the name of an animal as a verb.  Some examples are: to dog, to snake, to bear, to duck. . .you get the idea.  Write about anything you want and use whichever verb tense you need, but give us an animal as a verb in there somewhere.  Let’s see if we can discover new things by looking from a different perspective.

I don’t know if insects count, but anyway…

You’d better watch out for her. She will mosquito around with your friends, sucking them dry, and leaving them hurt and bleeding. Probably with some disease too. Just like she’ll do with you.

To My Husb…I mean…To Mary I.


How do I love you?
Let me count the ways…

I love you for your words of praise,
While on my posts you thoughtfully gaze.
I love you for the way you work
To help me not feel like a jerk.
I think that you should make a blog
But such a blog, I’d probably hog
Because you are one badass chick
And on my blog, I hope you stick.
So I will write, to make you smile
And hope you stick around a while
I’ll write crappy poems, that are true
To tell you of my love for you.

Okay, I’ve got to say that although that is heartfelt, it is a little too sticky sweet for my tastes, so here is another love letter for you Mary.

Dear Mary,

I bet when I told you that I would write you a love letter, you probably didn’t believe me.

What is up with that? Of all the nerve! I’ll have you know that I am not a liar…sometimes…whether or not I am a liar is beside the point! You can’t just go around accusing people of lying and then expecting them to write you love letters! Only a fool would do that.

Or a fool might have assumed you didn’t believe her when in reality, you did. If you did believe me, then I am sorry. If you didn’t believe I’d write this, well, I guess I showed you; so there! (If you did believe me, I’m sorry for that last sentence too).

Love Hobbler

Better, but I was a little moody with that one. Last try:

Dear Mary,

Thanks for liking my posts, and commenting, for suggesting ideas for Trifecta, and playing along when I am being silly. You are one awesome reader.

Love Hobbler

Next week’s Trifecta…


Okay, I need your help. I would like to see how I would do with an “Out Of My Mind” trifecta.

I need a:

main character (policeman, alien, cow, etc.))

setting (mars, kingdom, forest, etc.)

type (poem, sci fi, essay, etc.)

Maybe a random word to throw in there, but I already think I am losing it to ask for these things.

Anyway, to make it more interesting, I would like to get each suggestion from different people. Whatever person suggests something first, in each area, will be the one I use, or try to use. If it is impossible, I’ll say nevermind, and just do Trifecta’s idea. Okay?

Dick-tionary


I stumbled across this blog, It is geared more toward the ladies, and she is just starting out, but I thought this was cute wordplay.

pissed1off

Every women needs a dictionary right? I mean a dick-tionary. How else are we supposed to know when our husband is…well, being a dick?

Dick-tionary

Dick – Man who employs some or all of the following terms on a regular basis.

Dick-ed off – The mental condition of an outraged husband. This condition can result in verbal, emotional, or physical abuse; so be careful girls.

Chick-dick – Chick-dicks have a compulsion to use your makeup and may occasionally dress in your clothes. This is very distinct from being a homosexual. Men who fall into this category often lead regular lives with little to know outer expression of their inner desires. They could wear women’s underwear, but they may be happily married, with no other unusual tendencies.

Stick-dick – Often preoccupied with nutrition, these men are careful to remind you of the proper way to maintain a “healthy” body weight. They…

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To My Husband: 1st date truth


First of all, I am a little offended that you all didn’t think I went to a strip club on our first date. What, I’m not good enough to frequent strip clubs? What a bunch of judgmental bloggers…

Anyway, you were right, no drunken strip club that night.

In the interest of not boring anyone, how long do you think we dated before I was diagnosed with MS?

Trifecta: Heart of Gold


Trifecta‘s challenge is to use the word “heart” defined:

3: personality, disposition <a cold heart>

The winning topic was Clamato Juice. Since that was a winner only because my husband cheated, McRibs and “how do porcupines mate” would have been in a three-way tie with Clamato, so I threw them in here too.

Heart of Gold

He threw the car into reverse and drove to the store. Same list as always. She was nothing if not a creature of habit. How she could stand to eat that meal was beyond him. After picking up the groceries, he swung through McDonalds and got a McRib sandwich and a coke. Now that was real food.

When he returned home, she was sitting in her chair watching tv. “Did you get what I asked you for?” His mom said from the living room. “I’m making it now. Two stalks of celery cut in four pieces. two pieces of lightly browned toast, and your juice, just the way you like it. I’ll bring it right in.”

He couldn’t understand how anyone drank clamato juice, especially with a shot of tequilla in it, but that was the way she liked it. Oh well, it didn’t hurt his feelings. The strong taste of her drink seemed to hide his “special” ingredient quite well.

It wouldn’t be long now. He had been her caretaker for 14 years. So, he was speeding the process up a bit. When he found out about her deposit box, and the gold inside, he had almost ended it then. He couldn’t get caught though. She was already old. They probably wouldn’t even do an autopsy, and if they did, the poison might not show up at all.

He carried the meal into the living room and set it on the tv tray. “Here’s your lunch mom, just the way you like it.” He glanced at the tv.

Have you ever wondered how porcupines mate? Bet you didn’t know there was a lot of urine involved. You don’t want to miss this. Next, after the commercial break.

Must be weird sex week on the animal channel.

“Thank you dear”, his mother said. “I haven’t been feeling well lately. I don’t know what I would do without you. You have a heart of gold.”

“Thanks mom. Finish your lunch now.”

*For more on the mating habits of porcupines, click here: That’s Disgusting!
**For porcupine porn, click here: Viewer Discretion Advised: Gross Too

To My Husband (and PMAO) (11)


This special edition of To My Husband also comes with a shout out to Pouring My Art Out, who thinks these things are boring and need to be spiced up.

I’m going to tell the story of our first date, but for some added spice, I’m throwing in a big fat lie. You get to guess which part is bs.

We met on a rather normal day, in a rather normal way, but I captured his eye, and possibly other things that would be very inappropriate to talk about here.

Our first date was planned shortly after.

He picked me up and we were off to the eating establishment he had carefully selected. I didn’t want to waste too much time playing nice, so one of the first things I said was something like “so, aren’t you married and living with a different woman?”He laughed and started explaining.

After our lovely dinner we went to see some MMA fighting, where we enjoyed rating the ring girls.

Of course, no first date would be complete without a trip to the strip club. After which he dropped me off in love and drunk (although not necessarily in that order).