May I have your attention please,

Blogging for the most part has been a good experience. I think overall, it has helped my writing, but it has also hurt it.

I’m not going to blog anymore. I would rather be an okay writer than a great blogger. I waste too much time here, and I don’t get any real writing done. I have book ideas, poems, dramas…

If I had spent half as much time on those as I have here, I would have finished something by now. Some people can do both, blog and write, but I get obsessive. I would rather obsess over something with the publishing potential.

I also would rather obsess over my family. I put a lot of things to the side, when I’m here, but I can’t do that now. My kids need to work on their reading, my oldest needs some creative outlets and some guidance, and I want them to see my passion for words. I also want to bake and I need to take care of some of the things I’ve put off as far as household stuff goes.

Anyway, thanks for understanding and maybe one day you’ll see my name on the best seller list. Or on the cover of a dollar store book. 😉

A few things before I go,

I’m dying, so I thought I’d share some things with you. I’m not dying immediately. One day I will be, but it will probably be years from now. Stop freaking out. You should expect stuff like that from me.

  • Sorry I’ve been gone quite a bit.
  • I’m ditching Trifecta this week.
  • We tried to make coconut shrimp, and the coating kept falling off. Any tips?
  • I changed the name of this blog to Plays Well With Words. It’s a long story, but I needed to.
  • Just finished off a box of chocolates…thanks HH.
  • My house is a mess.
  • I haven’t felt like writing much lately, but I think maybe next week I’ll get some words out.
  • WhatIMeantToSay was in my dream last night. Quit haunting me! I’ll look at your blog soon. Everyone else go there after reading this.
  • I’m going to be a comment slacker, and not reply, maybe at all, to some of the stuff you’ve said in the past few days, but thanks for commenting. I have and will continue to read them, I am getting too far behind though. I’ll be back to my normal, chatty, annoying self soon.
  • Thanks for reading and understanding. You all are awesome.

It’s Not Me, It’s You

My second post in the journey to becoming someone I want to be with.

I can be a bitch. Sorry for the language, but that word is really the most appropriate. The thing is, sometimes I don’t feel good. Sometimes I am PMSy. Sometimes you are annoying (being honest here). Each of these things on its own could make you into someone you don’t want to be with, but the combination seals the deal.

This whole “wanting to be with me” thing keeps running through my mind. How can I be someone I like if I am pissed off or depressed all the time? I shouldn’t be too hard on myself I guess. It is only 95% of the time.

So, what should I do when I am annoyed? When I am so depressed that I have to drag myself out of bed? When life spits in your face then laughs about it?

Answer? Blame. Blaming someone else for your problems can make the problem hurt less. Don’t pretend you are above that. We all do it, even if we don’t always realize it.

The problem with the blame game is that often we blame those closest to us. Our spouse, our co-worker, our kids. In all fairness, they could have contributed to the problem, but if we really want to get along with ourselves, we at least have to take responsibility for our reactions to our circumstances.

So, how can we get out from under the weight of responsibility? Blame yourself. Not the self reading this, blame your bitchy self. Blame the depressed girl in your bed. If we can shift blame and guilt for our problems to the “you” that you don’t like, the you with potential to make different choices will have a chance to shine.

Realizing that even though there are a lot of things about life that suck, there are a few things that are really great. Knowing that sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn’t as good as it might sound when you are discouraged. Those are traits of the person I might want to be with.

That you needs to look the miserable one in the eye and say, “so you are sick, so you are pissed, so you think life sucks…that’s not me, it’s you”. Then get off your butt and do something worth doing. If you do, if you leave your bad mood with the crappy “you”, you will be one step closer to becoming someone you want to be with.

You want to be with me?

If you met yourself walking down the street, would you be interested in that person? Would you like to take yourself out for a drink, or maybe take you home to have a little more of an intimate encounter? After a few days would you still want to be with you?

If you are anything like me, you might take a second glance. You may even say hi to yourself, but out for drinks? Bringing that person into your home? That is a little more complicated.

Just so we are clear, I’m not talking about liking the fake you. I’m talking about the real one. The one currently still in her pajamas. The one that can be laughing one minute and crying the next. The one who yells at her kids. The one who hates his job. The ugly one.

There are a lot of things that are out of your control. You may not be perfect, but you can become someone you like. You can also learn to like the person you are. Best of all, you can have a good time doing it. At least I hope so. I’m not my favorite person either, so I hope you don’t mind me tagging along on this journey to wanting to be with ourselves.

Once a week I’ll be posting on this topic. Unless I am hormonal, or pessimistic, or lazy…or busy making excuses. Okay, I’ll post if you show up. We have to like each other while we learn to like ourselves.

To Print or Not To Print? That is the question…

Some of you know that I have been working on formatting a series of posts that I wrote as a drama. I finally got the thing done, but it’s 38 pages. I don’t know whether or not I should print it.

Some publishers require a hard copy, others will take an email submission. The problem is committing to using the ink, paper, etc. I’ve also heard that it’s a good idea to mail a copy of any writing to yourself and then not open it. Since it has the postmark and the seal, it helps in court if copyright issues come into play. Proof of authorship.

Anyway, I may be over thinking this whole thing, but since it is my over analyzer posts that I’ve been working with, I am allowed over-think time.

So, what should I do? Some publishers even want 5 copies of the thing. I guess I will have to print eventually, but what if I want to reread and edit it some more? I have read it many times, including reading it aloud and timing it. Should I stop thinking about it and just hit print?

To write…

I’ve got to say it. I’m a little stressed. Writing is my passion. It’s the one thing I have a little confidence in. When I write I can easily get lost in the story, but I’m having a hard time focusing at the moment.

Part of the problem is that I’m not really writing, just formatting the OAA stuff. There are so many submission guidelines and requirements. Since that is actually a drama production, I have to re-write the majority of it in script format. I can copy and paste each character’s dialogue, but that takes about as long as rewriting it for most of the lines.

Eventually I will write my grand book idea, but I have a lot of content here that I should already be able to do something with first. Some of you have self-published a book in eBook format, and I think that is great. I may eventually do that too, but am I over reaching to want a hard copy publisher?

When did it become more about the name, marketing, etc. and less about the actual content of your piece? Anyway, I’ll keep writing. I can’t really help it, but one day I hope something more comes of it. Until then, I hope some of my writing matters to some of you.