The key to having any perfect party is effective planning. Here are some tips to help your next pity party be a great success.
1. Choose the perfect date – The best day for a pity party is a day that most people will be busy. Then when they don’t show up, you will have an extra reason to be sad.
2. Invite as many people as possible – By inviting lots of people, you will guarantee the party’s failure. Start with the president, and as many politicians as possible, then hit up your entire email address list, and all of your Facebook “friends”. Save the people who might actually show up for last, so the odds of them making other plans are high.
3. Forget about the party There is nothing better than forgetting about your own party to ensure that at least a few people will be pissed off.
I would write additional tips, but I have a party to forget about.
While you mourn my loss, please check out the following party posts:
Rebecca2000: WTF Friday #4
LifeInTheFarceLane: Pity party, party pooper
Lisa Summerlin: All In A Day’s Whine
Love and Lunchmeat: Oh, the Things I Could Do If I Were More Like Martha and Double Plus Not Good
SandyLikeABeach: James Hiding Philosophy Notes In Pity Party Dress Taken For Joyce
Adorablyad – I Have a Lot to Pity Myself For