When you really should be sorry

A good friend of mine died today. She was almost 60 years older than me, but some people are kindred spirits, regardless of age. I don’t know exactly when we connected, or how. She was a very good friend of my mom’s, but when we met…I don’t know how to describe it. There are some people in this life who you should connect with.

We would occasionally get together for tea, and her perfect scones, and we would talk and laugh like we were kids. I told her about a friend in college that loved pennies. She said she loved dimes. Whenever she saw a shiny dime on the ground, she would be just a little excited, like it was a little treasure.

I cleaned her house a few times and one occasion, I brought a roll of dimes and left them in different spots all over the house. Later, when I had kids, we visited her and I sent them around with more dimes. Silly, but when you can bring a little joy into a life for a few dollars, it would be a shame to pass up the chance.

Her husband had died many years before I knew her, and she missed him as if it were yesterday. Things hadn’t been perfect between the two of them, but true love can handle some really rough times.

One time she told me that my mom was at times “too prude for her own good”. We laughed a lot. Cried together sometimes too. She sent me a letter a couple of months ago. I should have written her back, but life got in the way. She would understand though. She always did.

Anyway, I’m not writing this for sympathy. She lived a good life. This is not a life that should be mourned. In fact, the only thing that I think I really should be sorry for, is a life spent in self-pity, in fear, etc. A life not lived at all.

So, here’s to you my dear friend…a virtual toast in celebration of a beautiful life.



19 thoughts on “When you really should be sorry

    • Thanks, but it is good for a lot of reasons. She was in a lot of pain and my mom said she had lost a lot of weight. It was her birthday today too. She turned 91. She would have liked to pass on her birthday. She was cool like that. 😉

  1. According to the Bishop who celebrated my Granny’s funeral- a life well lived should be celebrated. The mourning and the depression that comes with it is a side effect of death. Not for the one who dies but for those who are left living. Because we are uncertain yet of how our lives will turn out. As for those who passed away, they were able to embrace their birth to the eternal life. We will feel pain because we will be missing them. Without pain, we couldn’t feel joy. Sounds like you’re friend is really a great person so I will share the virtual toast on her beautiful years with you Hobbs! Cheers!

    • Thanks Pudding Girl.

      She lost her daughter a while back. I would hate to outlive my kids, and it was very hard on her. We also hadn’t seen each other in quite a few years, just sent a few letters, but friendship like that stretches across time and miles. Still, it’s hard to feel too much pain for us, when death ended so much of her own pain.

      Anyway, how are you doing?

  2. Years ago I worked for a newspaper in the obituary dept. Most people thought I was crazy, but I really enjoyed my job. I loved reading what others had written about the people who had passed on – it was like getting an insight into someone else’s life. Your write up about your friend reminded me of everything I liked about writing obituaries. May your friend’s soul rest in peace & may you be comforted by the knowledge she no longer feels pain.

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