Last night I had another dream where I could walk. I’ve had several in the past month. I don’t really know what to think about it. The thing is that I might be able to walk. Not now. My legs are pretty atrophied because of being in a wheelchair all the time.
Before I broke my hip I could walk. Kind of. Like someone who is drunk walks. Clinging to the walls. I had bruises all over from falling into walls or counters or whatever. Then I fell for the 50th time and my hip decided it had enough.
So, now I’m in a wheelchair almost all the time, although I occasionally use a walker.
And I’m dream walking. When I walk in my dreams I’m not clinging to walls or people or whatever, I’m walking pretty normal. I thought I might be able to run for a little way. I don’t know what to feel about it.
Sometimes I think I should try walking. Try to show my kids that if they put their minds to it, they can do things that people might not think you can do.
Then I think, what is the big deal about walking. I was more disabled when I feared open rooms because I wouldn’t have anything to hold on to. I literally hated going from the kitchen to the living room. It was about 10 feet. I had to cross that open space.
In a wheelchair open rooms just mean you can go faster.
Anyway, I don’t seriously talk much about being disabled, but I don’t know. I just needed to today. Thanks for listening.