Just wondering…

If you could go back in time would you do it?

Why or why not?

If so, what would you go back to?

Before you answer, these things would apply:

  • Your kids would still be here, they would be just as they are now with different (no better or worse) parents if you went back before you had them.
  • You could only go back in your life (from the moment of conception), not to caveman days.

57 thoughts on “Just wondering…

  1. I always think I would go back as long as I could come back to exactly where I am now. I think I would just like a chance to have my old body back, lol.

    • That’s funny. I don’t know if in my hypothetical you could come back. I should probably add that. It is awesome that you would like to be where you are now though. I wonder if many people feel that way.

  2. I would love to go back to when I was really young to spend time with my parents and sisters again. I would also love to get to let my kids meet my grandparents that they never got to meet.

  3. I would definitely go back. I would go back to age 22. I would have more time with my parents before they passed away and I would have followed my heart to the right man. Thankfully he is still one of my best friends; we just should have married instead of being friends for 20 years.

      • Thank you. I am actually considering writing it as a story/novel. He and I lost touch for years but found each other online. We are just friends and he is one of my biggest cheerleaders and I am one of his. I can actually pinpoint the moment in time I would go back to. Hindsight is painful and yet it is ok.

          • It is very interesting. And what is interesting is that even though I had been drinking quite a bit that night, that moment sobered me up completely and I remember it vividly. He does, too. So at least I know it wasn’t my imagination. I even remember what he was drinking. It was a night that could have changed my whole life. And if I had it to do all over, I would.

            • You really should write a novel about it. I’ve had a few moments in my life when it feels almost as if the world stops turning. It is magical and would be a good movie too!

  4. I would like to start my life over at conception ideally. Mine sucks! Definitely a different husband. My diseases are genetic so that wouldn’t help. Just got out of the psyche hospital, I finally broke and did what I told you not to….I tried to overdose and end it all. Didn’t work, still here to tell about it thankfully. God my kids were broken-hearted. Call it a trial run. Won’t be doing that again. Here is post if you care to read it: http://finallyawriter.com/2012/10/23/my-8-night-9-day-awesome-vacation-not/

    • Sorry to hear that Tessa. I’m glad you are still here and I will read that post soon. My going back in time would be similar to yours. I would be conceived and miscarried before my parents ever found out they were pregnant. I think everyone including my family would be better off if they had never known me. The problem with suicide is that you leave devastation behind you. It would be much better to have not been born at all. Since I am here though, I have to try to do something good. Something that will help and not make my unwanted life a complete waste.

        • Try to think about your kids. They would be so hurt.

          That said, as someone who believe in assisted suicide and who has health problems, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. I understand.

          My guidelines for assisted suicide would be to: must notify family members at least a few weeks prior, must speak to psychiatrists about it and listen to what they have to say, must do it (they should do it in a hospital) in a controlled manner so loved ones are not as traumatized as they would be by walking in to a hanging body or gunshot wound.

          There are a few more I believe…oh, and you should never commit suicide when PMSy or off/switching medications. Too much of a person’s thoughts and feelings are clouded in those times.

          I don’t think people should have to suffer while it’s okay to put our pets to sleep. You have to be careful Tessa because so much of your thoughts and feelings are a result of your illness or the meds. Don’t let them kill you.

          • I just came completely off the anti-psychotic they had me on. Making me more psychotic, geesh! I am feeling much better. Things were so bad I couldn’t even write (no cohesive thought) and no typing, couldn’t remember how either.

            I will never tell my kids I want to commit suicide ever again. I couldn’t take that heartbreak. It was terrible. My parents took it calmly and told me to call my dr and my daughter and get to the ER immediately. Not an experience I want to repeat as long as I have control over myself and this last med was making me think about it again.

            • So sorry you had such a bad experience Tessa. Medications are often worse than what they are prescribed for. I hope you get it all worked out, and I’m very glad you aren’t going to repeat the suicidal stuff. Your family needs you, and I’m glad that you are going to try to be strong.

              • I am back to where I was before the hospital stay and med change. I feel like crap. Now all I do is sleep. Know that won’t last long, nothing does. There is no consistency in my life. !

  5. I have no desire to relive any part of my life over again. It was painful enough to get through it the first time. I could wish for less painful experiences, but that might make me a different person from the one I am now & although i don’t always like the person I am, I might like the person I would have become less. So I’ll keep things status quo, at least I’m familiar with it.

  6. I would relive my younger years, stayed free longer, had kids later, saw more of the world, learned more about myself. I think I’d’ve ended up quite a different person, and maybe I would have been happier.

    I feel bad there are so many of us who would rather have not been born, or wouldn’t relive any moment of their lives. That’s precisely why I would relive my life, to enjoy it more. I know it’s not easy, but it can get better.

    • Yeah, its kind of depressing to know that there are a lot of hurting people out there. I think you are right, that it can get better.

      For me personally, I have a relatively good life now.The reason I often wish I had never been born is because of all the hurt I’ve inflicted on others. Some by choice, more by things beyond my control.Their lives would seriously be better without having known me. My health problems are hard on my family. They love me, and it hurts them that I hurt. I worry about the problems my kids might end up with. My husband has gone through hell since being with me.

      I’ve done a few good things, but someone else would do much more, and not be moody while they do it.

      I know that I can try harder and maybe do better, but it won’t make up for all the crap and nothing I do will make my family stop worrying and dealing with my health. If they had never met me they wouldn’t have that stress in their lives. I can’t bring enough good to the table to make up for all the bad.

      That said, I still will try to do and be good for them, but I can’t imagine anyone being better off by knowing me.

      • Hobbles – go watch a Wonderful Life – You don’t think you have been a joy to people because you are in pain & might be moody sometimes? The people who know you & love you don’t care about your problems or your bad days, they’re happy to have you in their lives – me included.

        • I’m moody all the time. 😉 I know that people care about me, but that doesn’t mean they are better off for knowing me. I’m not having a pity party, I just have thought a lot about it for years. It is just the way it is.

          Anyway, some of the stuff I do matters, and I can occasionally make people laugh or think or see things differently.

          Hopefully one day I will get something published that matters. My kids would get a little income from that in the future, which would be helpful. The things I do for and with my family are important, and I’m not always as depressed as I’ve been lately. I know that I need to look at the good things and be thankful. I really do have a lot to be thankful for.

          • I think your children are thankful you were born & were part of their lives, without you they wouldn’t have their own lives. They wouldn’t be the wonderful, caring children they are.

            • In my hypothetical, they would be born to other parents just as good. 😉 I’m not stressed about it Benzeknees, don’t worry about me, but thanks for trying to make me feel better.

      • I’m better off for having known you. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your family is being supportive of you, that isn’t a bad thing, nor is it automatic. I haven’t been in touch with my family for 15 years or more. None of them had ever supported me, not during my military service, not when I moved far from home, no one was there for me when my life fell apart (more than once). Don’t think your family worries about you is a waste. They worry because you are a loveable and lovely human being who is in pain.

        Don’t think that just because you may have had negative experiences with your family that they feel unloving toward you. Believe me, if they wanted to they could easily cut you out of their lives, but they don’t. That says a lot: about and your family. Let them love you and know that while you may have made mistakes in the past and you can’t undo what’s done, you are changing and trying to be a better person, and really that’s all anyone can ask of us: to be better than we were.

        Good luck to you. I hope for the best for your family, husband and kids. I give you hope for the future.

        • I’m so sorry your family wasn’t always there for you. There love and support can literally save your life. It has mine.

          Mine is kind of the opposite problem. I have definitely put them through hell, especially when I was younger, but we all are pretty close. Always have been. When I got diagnosed with MS, they were worried, to the point of hurting with worry.

          My parents wondered if they could have done things differently and somehow it would have helped. The doctors think I’ve had it since high school, and my parents wish they had known so when I was a rebel teen, they could blame MS and not me so much.

          My sister felt guilty for going to Hawaii for her honeymoon because that would have been difficult for me. My other sister worries and wants to help in any way she can.

          My family now (husband, kids, in laws) is supportive and understanding about all the things that happen. The kids aren’t embarrassed (which I worry might come some day). My husband is incredible…he has put up with some horrible things from me, and he loves and supports me. My in-laws are helpful in any way they can be.

          So, I guess my problem is that all the love, support, worry, etc…I feel guilty about it. They shouldn’t have to do all the extra things that they do for me. My kids should be able to go to activities and stuff that they can’t go to because I can’t drive anymore. My husband deserves someone beautiful and sexy, not some atrophied thing in a wheelchair. My family shouldn’t have to worry about me, or adjust their lives to accommodate me. I appreciate their love, but I don’t deserve it, and things keep going wrong physically, emotionally, etc. with me.

          I often think it would be better if I was either alone, so I would be the only one suffering because of all this crap. They should be able to live normal lives.

          • Your family wants to do something to help you. Don’t you feel helpless if your best friend just had a nervous breakdown. You desperately feel you want to do something to help them. It’s what caring people do.

            I know guilty feeling in having people do things for me. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the help, but wish I could do it for myself. Like going places alone. My family is worried about what should happen if I fall. Which keeps me from doing things I want. I decided not to let my family’s fears become mine. If I go out and fall I will have to find a way to manage, whether accepting the help of a stranger, or managing on my own. I will get through it only by going through it.

            I understand you feel you don’t deserve their love and attention, but you do. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your life. Realize this and the rest will come.

            I’m so sorry you are having such a tough time. Do you take meds for your depression? If so, when’s the last time there were changes in your prescription?

            I send good wishes for happiness and peace.

            • I don’t deserve to be happy. Seriously. I think going out is a good thing. Sometimes you have to do things that make you feel more normal. I do take depression meds, and it has been a while since they changed the prescription. Thanks for your well wishes, and I hope things go well for you too.

              • Please keep in mind no matter the things done in the past, all can be forgiven and forgotten. My husband cheated on me for two years. I knew about the affair from the beginning, yet he couldn’t end it. I was certain he would leave me for the other woman, because all along I was sure I wasn’t supposed to be happy. You know what? Everyone deserves to be happy, even me, even you, even the people we don’t like.

                Take care.

  7. I definitely would not go back. In my estimation, I would fix all of the mistakes I made the first go-round, and just make worse ones the second time. What’s past is past. I like to just move on. Although I wouldn’t mind going back to when I did not have insomnia and taking a good, long nap every couple of days or so…

    • I need your attitude. It is hard to leave things in the past and just move on.

      Insomnia is so weird. I get used to it after a while and then suddenly I can sleep well for days/weeks. Just when I get used to that, insomnia comes back. It is torture, and I am sorry you are having it.

  8. I would go back in time and just follow my past self around, leaving hints as to what is about to happen in life, but each time I would leave a note that said “spoiler alert” just in case past me didn’t want to know the future. That is just common courtesy.

  9. 3 words: “The Butterfly Effect”. As soon as you do something – take a different ‘fork’ in your path – you may change *everything* (despite the disclaimer about those kids). I’ve often considered that: “What if?” and “If only” – all through my life. And so many things – just a nudge or a change – and it would have all been different. It’s best not to think of it. Too many variables . . . LOL. It can drive you insane.

    BUT . . . given everything you said, I think I would have laid in that ravine until they come got me instead of being the good soldier, popping back up and taking out that machine gun nest. At least then my injuries would have been better documented – by the other guys, if not the Navy doctor, who wouldn’t write down a thing to save our lives, LOL. Whut can I say. Some missions (like people) were screwier than others. :/

      • “If I could go back knowing what I know now.” Boy what an awful phrase. It depends on how many regrets you have I reckon, and the ghosts of paths in life. And like ghosts they get mistier the further you look into them until you cannot see a thing. Those futures are closed to us and there’s no going back – even if we wanted to.

        Changing all those ‘regrets’ into some kind of positive things I think can be the start of a ‘new life’ – completely overmade (or remade in some instances). Changing your outlooks and values about some of the things can change your outlook on your past life. Putting some value in things.

        I don’t know. (soft smile). I recently wrote a post on that thing, BTW. and LOL.

  10. I would be afraid to go back in time and right my wrongs. I mean, I have been real lucky to make it this far. Don’t want to mess with fate. My luck, I change something and get eaten by a hungry pit bull.

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