Just for fun

It is that time of year for caroling, etc. Before breaking out the Christmas songs, here are my new lyrics to “Before He Cheats”. You can listen to the acoustic version in the back and sing along with the new words.

(instrumental)

 

Skinny Jeans

 

Right now he probably thinks I’m sexy

With my tight jeans on

He’s maybe hoping we’ll get frisky

Right now, he’s probably buying

Me some fruity little drink

As he downs his whiskey

 

Right now, he’s probably up behind me

Looking at it

As I bend down to shoot a combo

And he don’t know

 

The seams dig deep into the side

Of my packed in like they’re sardines size 4 thighs

Carved their brand into my butt cheeks

It took twenty long minutes to put them on

It hurts just to sing this song

He’d need his tools to take off these skinny jeans

 

Right now, she’s probably getting jealous

As I’m walking by wearing the latest fashion

Right now, she’s probably saying, “No kids”

And she’s thinking back to when she liked to wear some

 

Right now, she probably thinks she should dress nicer

When outside of the house she goes

Oh and she don’t know

 

That the seams dig deep into the side

Of my packed in like they’re sardines size 4 thighs

Carved their brand into my butt cheeks

It took twenty long minutes to put them on

It hurts just to sing this song

Sweat pants are so much better than skinny jeans

 

I might’ve saved a little trouble for the next girl

‘Cause next time you see these jeans

Oh, you know they won’t be on me!

No, not on me

 

‘Cause the seams dig deep into the side

Of my packed in like they’re sardines size 4 thighs

Carved their brand into my butt cheeks

It took twenty long minutes to put them on

It hurts just to sing this song

Maybe next time I’ll skip the skinny jeans

Oh, maybe next time I won’t buy skinny jeans

Oh, no skinny jeans

Oh

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