29 thoughts on “Rain

  1. I liked it the only comment I would make (if I may) is for it to be set out as prose/poetry. You have the rhythm going, but it didn’t feel right reading it in this form.
    I do like what you did with the prompt though. Sorry if I offended.

    • No offense. I thought about that too. It was another late night rambling, so sometimes I don’t pay as much attention to spelling and form…too out of it, I suppose, but good idea. Glad you liked it.

  2. This reads a bit like a cruel song little kids would sing at someone they don’t like. It makes me feel sad for the woman ): It’s a good piece though.

    • Thank you. Sometimes I think we all miss the truth behind the obvious.

      A dancer’s hopelessness, a drive through attendants’ stressful urgency, etc. Humanity is rarely seen through physical eyes. Sometimes you have to look with your heart.

  3. So poignant and sensual. From your few words, I see her in great detail, her hopelessness grabs my belly, and I taste the dust on the floor as she bends down. Excellent piece.

    • Thank you. I haven’t had a chance to read many others. Although I’m sure there are exotic dancers who are happy with their jobs, there have to be others who hate it.

  4. I love seeing you in our linkz. Great job here. I think you’re right–some dancers love it, but some must absolutely hate it. I don’t think I’d be in the ‘loving it’ category.

Comments are closed.