Holiday reminder


As we celebrate the season with our friends and families (you know, the ones who drive us crazy), I thought we could all use a little reminder of what Christmas is really all about.

Bitterness.
Full of pain.
No
Peace in life.
Time wasted on regrets.
No
Freedom.
Hate.
Desire to never
Forgive.

I think I like it better backward.

Forgive.
Never to desire
Hate.
Freedom.
No
Regrets on wasted time.
Life in peace.
No
Pain of full
Bitterness.

Merry Christmas everyone.

12 Days of Christmas: Tattletale Twelve


Does anyone else think the “12 Days of Christmas” song is a little strange? Here are some more realistic lyrics.

Karaoke: (play in the background)

On the first day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He stuck his tongue out at me.

On the second day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

They are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the third day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the fourth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the fifth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

It is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the sixth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the seventh day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

They will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the eighth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the ninth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the tenth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

They made a big mess, she isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He said “get out now”, they made a big mess, she isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She called me whiny, he said “get out now”, they made a big mess, she isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

A few last minute Christmas gift ideas for husbands:


Write him a book: The great thing about this idea is that you don’t actually have to write a whole book…your husband probably won’t read it anyway. Just write a few pages, dedicate the book to him, and then paste those pages into some romantic book like “Lady and the Tramp”. A new book cover and you are ready to go.

The Sleep Inducer: What! You haven’t heard of this? Well here is the link: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-4b

Coupon booklet: If you have children they have probably made you a few of these, but basically you just write a few “coupons” for housework or other things. The great thing about this gift is that after Christmas, your hubby will leave this book lying around somewhere. Before he gets a chance to cash the coupons in, just hide the book. Your husband will not want to get into a fight about how he could have lost the book you worked so hard on, so he will probably not even mention that it is missing.

A blow up doll: Not that kind…you and your dirty minds. One of those things that you blow up and then punch…it’s like a punching bag, but cheaper and easier to wrap. They come in all sorts of characters like Mickey Mouse and Sponge Bob. Your hubby needs something that he can take his frustrations out on and it can be a great workout.*

Bows: One of the great things about Christmas is that you can slap a bow on something and it suddenly becomes a gift. Bows can be conveniently stuck to almost anything that your husband seems to enjoy…guns, tv, money, body parts, etc.

Merry Christmas and Good Luck!

*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.

Blue Christmas: Last Remake of the Season


Real Version – Karaoke   I am so blue, blue after Christmas.    Chaos is through, we’re done with the big fuss. Decorations still up, but it’s easy to see    I’m in no mood to, start taking down the tree. … Continue reading

Up On The Housetop: Do it yourself guide.


Real  Up on the housetop you better not pause    You’re not really Santa Claus. Down through the chimney you might fall    If you put the lights up so tall.   Oh, oh, oh! There you go.   Ow, ow, ow! … Continue reading

Santa Baby (Mom Version)


If you have not heard this song go to: This Link and hear the real thing first. If you’re familiar with the song, please open this link (or a similar karaoke version of the song) and listen while inserting the following words: … Continue reading

Jingle Bells: And Other Noisy Toys


Real – These things are better if you sing them to the tune of the real song. Went shopping on Black Fri.    I got a bunch of toys Passed up the drum set my kid wants   Cause I didn’t … Continue reading