Honestly

Can I just get real here for a second and vent?

My blog right? Ok.

Sometimes, like today, I feel like my whole life was designed for someone else.

I have beautiful, happy, healthy kids. My husband is handsome and charming and works his ass off for his family. We have a great house with plenty of room for everyone, and even our dogs are almost as great as having a cat would be…

Then there’s me. I rarely go into half of our house, cause its upstairs and I have to scoot/crawl/etc. to get up there. I can’t teach my kids to ride a bike, or do lots of other stuff that requires working legs. My husband deserves a sexy wife, not one with shriveled up legs and currently a swollen eyelid (my body doesn’t like me, so it attacks in all sorts of ways).

I’m hurting, probably hormonal, and just whiny in general, but sometimes I’m so tired of fighting. This life wasn’t designed for people like me. My family deserves better.

Alright, enough of a pity party. I’m here right? Got to suck it up and do the best I can. I’m trying to be brave, but I desperately fear being useless. Okay, here’s some motivation…

One day I will do this, and I’ll be sure to write about it too. If I’m in a perfect position to do anything in this life, it’s to flash dance in my wheelchair while riding around town.

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33 thoughts on “Honestly

  1. okay itty bitty. enough. Your family is because of who you are. You think they are amazing? ‘well, it is only because you are amazing! You chose your husband and that produced the off spring that brings joy to both of you! They have a beautiful insight to love and life because of you and you hard working husband. NEVER NEVER sell yourself short,,,NEVER. Without you these beautiful people would have never had a chance to put their mark on the world and all of our hearts. Keep the faith sista and stop that wallowing!! You hear??? I am so proud of you.

              • I could do with another ghost story from the hotel, let’s all sit round the campfire and wait for Ruthie to tell us a tale.

                I can talk though, not many posts from me this year. They make me busier at work, I had to buy a flat and do it up, and all this whilst still trying to fit in my social drinking. There are not enough hours

                  • My flat’s done now.

                    I just have nothing to write about since I live in the suburbs now and have no interesting things around me to set anything off in my head. I’m being starved of observational treats!

                    • I did start something, mainly as there is a Facebook page gaining fame for photographing women eating on the tube.

                      It’s all over the press. I don’t think anyone should eat on the tube!

                    • Just people taking pics of women eating on the tube. And then it gained fame and is being attacked in the press for being sexist and causing eating disorders. That’s going a bit far, it’s only a woman eating an apple or a pack of crisps.

                      But since it gained fame you get the trolls going on attacking the people photographed, so that is inevitable I guess.

                      It’s all pretty boring. To be fair from my observations it is the far majority of people eating on the tube are women, but it’s by the by really. But people spark up defences like that is the only time they have to eat all day. This is clearly bullshit. I just hate people being inconsiderate on the tube. Where I live now everyone queues at the bus stop in a single line, it’s funny, where I used to live it would be a fight to the death to get on the bus

                    • That’s so weird. I can’t imagine people fighting to get on the bus. Or getting in a straight line to do it (now that I think about it). I don’t have much bus experience, except as a teen I rode the greyhound around the country a bit.

                    • and you lived to tell the tale 😀 Everyone says that is dodgy no?

                      It is daft, they fight as if the bus is only stopping for 2 seconds and they must get on it. And the queuing people, whilst very British, do take it too far, it is a dead straight line, no deviation. I feel like joining it to stand slightly off and drive them all insane. What would they do, they are that well mannered I could own them all.

                    • Hah! I honestly never had to renovate, I made sure I moved into a place that was already completely done. All I did was buy new furniture and arrange it around a bit 😀

                    • Fun! Didn’t you fix the furniture though? Oh, you should also flash dance on the tube and post it. Maybe we should all have a day planned when all over the world us bloggers break into spontaneous dancing…

                    • Come on Joe, if I do it and post a video, will you? How can we lead a cult if we can’t even dance in public?

                      I’m really just trying to psyche myself up. I’m a crappy dancer, but I feel like it would be good for me.

  2. What a great song! I don’t listen to music hardly ever, so I don’t know a lot of songs you could dance to in your chair! I know I chair dance to “Happy.” I also love to chair dance to a lot of songs from “Footloose” or Shania Twain’s “The Woman in Me” album. But that’s just my taste – I love the beat of “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?”

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