54 thoughts on “Thoughts on open marriage:

  1. Honestly i think its kind of weird but hey aren’t we all! Its nice to know that you have a lot more freedom in a open marriage. And you two still know that you love each other and so hey maybe in the end a open marriage will make this easier.

    • Sorry, hit reply too soon. Marriage is hard. I don’t know if having an open marriage could make it easier, or just end it faster. Love, marriage, relationships in general are so complicated, seems adding more people would make it more complicated, but there is that thing that disappears after years of marriage, that might be awakened by another person.

      I don’t know…

      • I see what you are trying to say. Adding more people can put the marriage in danger because the love you had for the one that you married might have gone to the other person you were seeing while married. And the problem was that you were allowed to see them while married too. But some people don’t like the idea of being so constricted in marriage and feel like adding more people can make it feel less constricting. A open marriage can go both ways depending on the kind of person you are and depending on the kind of person that you married.

  2. Never tried it, so can’t speak from personal experience. But I’ve known people who have. They all crashed and burned, sad to say. I can’t remember a case where it worked for long. There’s something about a pair bond with just two people that has trouble letting a third in. YMMV.

  3. We were already crashing and burning and so we tried it. There were rules. The other half started a real relationship which was the final end to our marriage. It just ended a bad marriage faster. Happy to say he left 10 years ago for her and they were engaged to be married and 10 years later it still hasn’t happened. They live together still.

    • So, do you think you’re happier being out of a bad marriage, or would it have been better to just keep it between the two of you? Is marriage in general a food idea? Or is living together the best solution for relationships?

      • No I am happier though worse off financially. The bad marriage wasn’t helping my mental state. I do think that open marriages are eventually doomed because you meet so many people and it is easy to meet one you think you bond with better. He isn’t happy with his choice obviously, but he is kind of stuck with her financially. He doesn’t look happy and she is a bitch, but hey he asked for it. I wanted out, but would never have left. He made the choice, I am not the one that broke up the marriage. We had 2 grown children and one 12 year old who went with him then demanded to live with me when he was 16. Nowadays I think living together works better because you can just split and not go through all the legal stuff although it does make it hard if you have children and are fighting over custody. My one daughter has 2 children by different men and is not married. She is on her own again.

        • I see your points. Everything gets so much more complicated when kids are involved. Bad marriages are bad for kids, but so is divorce. Why can’t love be easy?

  4. I’m not a fan of open marriage. Hubby & I lived together for 5 years before we married. Although I told him I wanted to be married again when we first met, we only married for legal reasons – it didn’t affect our relationship. He has 6 children from 2 previous marriages & I have a daughter from my first marriage. Getting married just made it easier on us should one of us die & deal with all the inheritance bullshit, etc. We’ve been together since 1996 (in a couple months it will be 18 years I guess), so we both love each other’s children like our own.

  5. I dont’ think that you can truly have an “open marriage” due to the fact that marriage is a sacred bond between two people who want to share everything with eachother and so many emotions are tied up in that. Personally, I am not mentally strong enough for a relationship like that and I think that it would take both people being supremely strong, care-free, and open-minded. If there is any doubt or worry in either persons mind, it will not work. But I think an open marriage is just an excuse to cheat and get away with it and will put the final nail in the coffin of any marriage.

    If you are so desperate to find something in someone else that you cannot find in your marriage, why even be married to that person in the first place? (not directed at you, just an open question)

    • I’m leaning against it. I love hearing everyone’s opinion. It would definitely take very strong/secure people.

      Oh, and some people get married cause they got knocked up…not directed at anyone in particular, open answer… 😉

  6. Marriage is a weird thing. It was really invented mostly to cement families together back when we were were waring tribes… and to pass on family wealth. Also, we used to live a much shorter time… there was less time to get sick of one another. I don’t pass a moral judgement on people who want an open marriage. It might work for them. I doubt my wife would like the idea though.

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