Sorry I Interrupted the Serenity of Your Dump: A Gimpy Monologue

Everyone needs to read this, and think twice before choosing your stall.

The Musings of a Digital Vagabond

A metal male restroom sign in an office buildi...

Have you ever been a size 14 trying to squeeze into a size 6? What about a guy who used to have a 30 inch waist, and suddenly realizing that your waist is now 36 inches all around? Feels a little awkward, doesn’t it? Now that you’ve got that feeling in mind, take a little trip with me to a place with which I am sure all of you are familiar. Take a trip in our minds to the restroom… More specifically, let’s go to the handicapped stall, or as you all might know it, “the big one.” Now let’s imagine you’re taking a dump, and someone jiggles on the door handle, and whispers a “fuck” under their breath. You’re probably thinking, “geez, what an ass hole!” Now let me take you to the other side of the door… On this side of the door, we have a man or…

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7 thoughts on “Sorry I Interrupted the Serenity of Your Dump: A Gimpy Monologue

  1. I confess I did this one being drunk many many years ago, after I pulled the emergency alarm thinking it was the flush so that alerted the whole pub as the alarm was wailing out. I learnt my lesson

    • Joe! You’re back! I always love seeing your smiling thumb face. How was Spain? Are you going to write about it? Did you already? I’ll check soon.

      Shame on you, but I’m glad you learned the error of your ways. 😉 maybe I should start carrying a loudspeaker with one of those hornblaster things to use when people casually walk out of those stalls.

        • Lol, well at least you were drunk and confused. Most people who occupy that stall just want the space and don’t think about the fact that some of us really need the space. Pulling that “I need help” cord is too funny.

          I’ve accidentally pulled it at the doctors office and was quickly met by two nervous front staff workers. I think they were secretly praying I wasn’t 400lbs or something that would be more of a challenge to help.

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