Nothing

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Originally posted on Edward Hotspur:
Suddenly, Nothing happened. Something was supposed to happen. Something incredible. But it called in sick. Karma, while a bitch, was busy getting someone and couldn’t come. Fate and Destiny had gotten drunk and were too…

Undertow


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It started out well,
It was all going fine.
Then I felt a small tug,
Like I’d snagged a fishing line.

It was probably nothing
So I chose to ignore.
It wouldn’t be long
Till I would reach the shore.

I’m changing the world
One smile at a time.
Reaching the goal
Is all falling in line.

It’s gaining momentum
I’m building speed
Having to stop
Is the last thing I need.

Finally I see it
That long-awaited shore
I’ve made it this far,
Just a bit more.

Soon I will be there,
And then I can rest.
Then the tugging again.
Is it some kind of test?

It pulls me down hard,
And I no longer sail.
It becomes quite clear
That my mission will fail.

It tortures my mind
Who do you think you are?
You should have known
That you’d never get far.

You were never meant
To be anything more
Than a broken body
The world should ignore.

The undertow of depression
Is so hard to fight.
Especially when I know
That it’s probably right.

So what should I do
When it all fades to black?
Wave a white flag?
Try to fight back?

Or simply remember
This won’t last too long.
Return to each moment.
Turn the pain into song.

Maybe I’ll make it.
Maybe I won’t.
At least I’m a girl
Who got into the boat.

So I made a YouTube channel…


I don’t know what I’m thinking. I can’t dance. I can’t do much else either. The problem is that someone needs to inspire the masses. If I can get disabled people to take a chance on venturing out of the comfort of their homes, my mission will be a partial success. If I can get people everywhere to start dancing more, and living in the here and now instead of their phones, I’d consider that a total success.

I absolutely despise the insecurities that arise every time I think about the fact that I put a stupid video or two out there. Why should that bother me? I’m so tired of being pushed around by a low self esteem. Why can’t I do something like this? I have to completely abandon my pride to move forward with this. The fact that if it doesn’t work, I have no other good options, is a little scary.

But that’s life. Lucille Ball said “I’m not funny, I’m brave”. Maybe being brave will pay off. I hope so. Check out my YouTube channel please, and be gentle. I know it isn’t much, but this movement is what keeps me hanging on.

Suicide and the ‘Sacred’


Very insightful.

Finding Purpose

Suicide and the sacred
“Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.” Viktor Frankl

One aspect of suicidal desire comes from the feeling of loneliness and isolation resulting from a lack communal belonging. Here I demonstrate how the concept of ‘the sacred’ helps us understand communal belonging, particularly in relation to the meaning of service. I apply this concept to veterans in transition to civilian life, showing how the loss of meaning and purpose can result from losing a tight-knit community centered on the sacred ideal of service.

In the book Suicide, Durkheim describes the function of the ‘sacred’ as an ideal that binds individuals together into moral communities; he states, “it’s object is to raise man above himself and to make him lead a life superior to that which he would lead, if he followed only his own individual whims.”

Moral communities provide individuals with…

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