
And the mood food before my spirit falls again
Still want some chocolate, But I’m too fat so diet really must begin
Now… For I need a little weight loss; right this very minute,
Need to fit my old jeans. Why can’t I get in it?
Yes I need to be much thinner; right this very minute.
My doctor has sure made worry and I must diet in a hurry. So call up weight watchers Or something else I can try to be really lean. Tried lots of diets But lasting results are a thing I’ve never seen how… Cause I move a little slower, my midsection’s bigger
Can’t fit in my old clothes, don’t really have a figure
And I need some motivation sitting on my shoulder.
Need a little diet now. So toss out the junk food.
Some healthy snacks I hear would really do me good.
Find that old gym card. Some exercise would help me to look like I should now… And I need a little diet. Right this very minute. Wish I’d hung a stocking and weight-loss bars were in it. Yes I need a little diet, right this very minute. Only look good when my eyes go blurry So I must diet in a hurry. So climb on the treadmill. Break out the ab roller to really look so good. Get plastic surgery That might just stop the nickname if it only could “Cow”. For I need to really lose weight Need to look much better Have to fit my gram’s gift Of that Christmas sweater; 50 pounds would be a snappy “Happy ever after” Need a little diet now. Need a little diet now.
Delightful and I am right there with you! I’m trying to memorize your song as fast as possible so that I can sing it through the holidays. It is the torture in my head on a daily basis, anyway, so I might as well sing it–especially as I’m drinking my brandy-laced eggnog in my National Lampoon moose glass. All the best funny lady from another humorist chubby blogger.
Thanks! Ahhh the well loved National Lampoon moose glass…I was just polishing mine the other day. 😉
Very cool! I can see this catching on…
Hopefully the childhood obesity epidemic will continue…then we will have even more fat people ready to sing this song. 😉
I’ve had your lyrics running through my head. They’re a hoot! Thanks (I think)
You’re welcome, and I know how you feel. I can’t decide if I like the new lyrics enough to have ruined the old ones in my mind forever. 😉
It is good to make fun of dieting. Because it is hard. Like giving up smoking or crack. Only people usually stop trying to get you do those other things if you are trying to quit. But on a diet everyone is like, “One more cookie wont kill you.”
No, it is the other 1,00,000,000 cookies I ate that are doing that.
Screw it – the mantra is “eat drink and be fat” didn’t you know??
Sounds good to me.
Wonderful! So creative!
Thanks! You should karaoke with it and send me the link!