Perhaps it’s a bipolar swing

But after a day like today

It is difficult to sing.

Though I know Your promises

Still ring true

There’s only so much a promise can do

I feel like I’ve screwed up

By being so down

A sorry excuse with no jewels in my crown.

Maybe it’s better to give up on me

The feeling comes so naturally

I’m sorry for wasting so much of Your time

Imagining I could be part of the sublime.

Silly girl full of fantasy trapped in this nightmare.

Dreaming of a day when I will no longer care

That my body can’t move, much less walk or run.

That depression lurks often and blocks out the sun.

That I often feel like I’m not good enough.

That I’m running on empty and tired of being tough.

I long for Your peace, but don’t feel worthy

When reality takes over and distorts what I see.

So God if You still love this broken mess of me

Hold me and your truth, please let me see.