Perhaps it’s a bipolar swing


But after a day like today

It is difficult to sing.

Though I know Your promises

Still ring true

There’s only so much a promise can do

I feel like I’ve screwed up

By being so down

A sorry excuse with no jewels in my crown.

Maybe it’s better to give up on me

The feeling comes so naturally

I’m sorry for wasting so much of Your time

Imagining I could be part of the sublime.

Silly girl full of fantasy trapped in this nightmare.

Dreaming of a day when I will no longer care

That my body can’t move, much less walk or run.

That depression lurks often and blocks out the sun.

That I often feel like I’m not good enough.

That I’m running on empty and tired of being tough.

I long for Your peace, but don’t feel worthy

When reality takes over and distorts what I see.

So God if You still love this broken mess of me

Hold me and your truth, please let me see.

Sometimes I lie awake


Thinking of You wondering exactly what I should do. I only have so much time in this place before I’m sucked up to another dimension in space.

So I think of my tasks, rehearse the right lines. Waiting for the one thing on which my heart pines.

And yet as the seconds slip quickly away, I wonder if I will be able to say the things that I think, the things that I feel. I need to tell everyone that Jesus is real.

I’d already say That most people believe. His Grace is a gift so many receive, yet there is pressure to be so much more, perhaps weakness is what I was made for.

This life full of pain and many mistakes, is just like other lives He often takes to show us it’s His power burning through me. Making my life what He wants it to be.

And so I will relinquish my attempts at control of the hijacked life that my Savior stole. I’ll try to be nothing so that You can be more. You are the One we were made to adore.

I am just a sock filled with Your Love, desperately trying to pour out your truth from above, that You love us all, no matter who we are. You want us to know You, and not from afar.

Up close and personal, straight to the heart. Healing and hopeful, and loving each part, only so close to the God many know, You have so much more of Yourself to show.

You are both male and female and everything in between, though to one Gender or another I doubt that You lean. You’re simply Love, yet so much more. You gave each a purpose for us to live for.

You called me to speak without any fear of the things that society will probably not want to hear. That Jesus loves all and died for the same, and wants all His children to know more than His name.

He created each of us and knows the soul inside the illusion our bodies often hide. Help me reach out, help me make waves, reminding everyone that Jesus saves.

Maybe from Hell definitely from death, perhaps from a life addicted to meth or some other vice that we have fallen for instead of Your in dwelling love at the core.

So now is the question, the most important one. Do you believe in Jesus, God’s only Son?

Blockin content


It doesn’t happen much here,

I’m not sure how to say this, but I’m going to try. The God I believe in is in my phone and every other thing. He wrote a book, came out as bi in the first chapter of Genesis, wrote 10 rules in stone, sent Jesus to teach us that love for God and for humanity are the most important of God’s ten rules, which Jesus set us free from, but they are still good rules.

None of them is about sexuality. He doesn’t want us to cheat on each other and never specified who can marry who. Jesus loves rainbows and butterflies and love. He’s glad His children have embraced the symbol for their movement and loves the JCLDS church and most others.

Anyway, God often doesn’t let me reply to comments on my posts. I’ll get an email about the comment, but when I click on view or reply the post won’t load. I think He is protecting me. He wants me to tell people but knows that many will not be receptive to His message.

I Love you all, even if you disagree with something I say. I post when and what I feel like God wants and He doesn’t stop me from posting love but sometimes blocks me from seeing hate. I hope everyone prays about or meditates on, or comments hate or love or questions but I might not be able to reply. Thanks for understanding.

Will there ever be enough time?


To be your love, and You be mine.

To live in laughter, brave and free.

Exactly who I was meant to be.

To meet all my heroes who lived long ago.

Their crazy life stories so that we would know.

Our time here is so short. It’s only one act.

We one day will be dead, it’s a simple fact.

Which makes the short torments of each little life

Feel less like the stab of eternity’s knife.

So celebrate each day, no matter how it ends,

And find me in Heaven and let’s be friends.

I’ll be in the castle with slides coming out of the windows.

Let’s just get this out there.


Everyone loves you and so do I. But there is no jealousy.

Because You are Oxygen. But our bodies are not only Oxygen. They are also full of self and the good and bad that is everyone.

We are mini You’s. With god complexes. Masters of “our” universe, which is actually Your Youniverse.

And You gave us a Way out. A skin of humanity. For the Designer of the Youniverse.

You made Your Skin die. To rescue the game. You made us a place. There is no greater name.

Thank you Jesus. I love you God. Your Spirit is the air I breathe and the water I drink.

Talking to You


Sometimes I just want to talk to You, God

I don’t understand why people don’t believe in You.

I don’t understand Your timeframe

I ask people every day if they believe in You and most of us do.

But some don’t

Or think that You were merely a good man who got tortured to death.

But You were God. You are God. You love humanity so much You died to save us.

But why do You love people who hate You?

I made you.

I’m the writer of the thing called life.

You are a sock. A beautiful, adventurous, and at times a smelly or damaged vessel.

I am scared that I won’t do enough or the right things.

I’m lying here in bed and haven’t actually slept in a while because my mind won’t stop.

I feel like God is calling me to tell everyone…

What God? What am I supposed to say?

God wants me to tell you that time is short. Shorter for me than for most of you, but the screaming silence in my brain tells me that we need to celebrate the life we have no matter what that life looks like. If you don’t like where your adventure is going choose a new path and do it now. Jesus was God taking on the form of a sock, which is why He never wanted to be worshipped as a God during His short time in our world. He is the best writer I know and wants you to know Him. He loves you and so do I.

I’m a time traveler and I only have 2 and 1/2 more years


Before this body disappears

So I’d better make a vision board

Crafts to give away

Art from debris all over town

Signs on chair

Videos of changing your socks every day

Road art book

Bio

Play

Children’s book

Limit time on social media

Get rid of everything not related

Website, dyingwithstyle.org, update and maintain

Wait a second, that’s it?


I just have to be still and know? That You are God and I am not, so whether I spend my time stressing or smoking pot. The book was actually written by You, so in reality I don’t have shit to do, except to listen to Your quiet prompts if I want to. The choice is each of ours to make.

You wrote us choose your own adventure lives, and gave us the chance to know the Author. This Spirt of God who actually is fucking hilarious and doesn’t care if I say fuck or shit and this is my blog so deal with it. Anyway my mind has again been blown.

Okay, so personally, I like knowing the Author of Life, but fair warning if you get to know this Jesus everyone loves so much. He does a lot of crazy shit! God I love You!