Yes, I’m a crippled girl talking about sex. It’s a free country.


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Life’s Final Chapter


This poem is for two people I care a lot about, from both sides of this issue. When you love someone, you set them free.

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What is it that you find so hard to understand?

I explained it well, what I have planned.

I know that you love me and I love you too;

This is something that I’m just getting ready to do.

I’ve laughed, I’ve loved, I’ve shed some tears.

I’ve satisfied my doubts. I’ve conquered my fears.

You still have lots of living to do.

Don’t blame yourself that my time will be through.

It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s no tragic loss.

The road will be over and I can put down my cross.

I desperately want rest, and lasting relief.

Why does that have to mean heartache and grief?

I’m not angry, I’m not even sad.

I value each second of life that I’ve had.

I know there is so much that I could still live for.

Each day holds promise, a new opened door;

I could continue this life; continue to try

To find some reason why I should not die.

I’m so tired of searching for reasons to live.

A knowledge of my death is a gift that I give.

I’m telling you now, so it will be easier on you

To celebrate my life, when my death is through.

It all could be over this very night.

With a few tiny pills I could put out my light.

But I don’t want you to be left asking why

You choose to live and I chose to die.

I want you to be a part of my life till I’m gone.

Please be a great part of this farewell song.

I’m thinking I still have ten to twelve years.

That should be plenty of time to dry all your tears.

At that point, there is nothing you should say.

I’ll die with dignity. Hopefully in a humane way.

Even our pets can be comfortably let go.

But for some reason our deaths must be painfully slow.

Perhaps tomorrow I’ll be hit by a car.

It could happen in town or when traveling far.

But if I survive till I’m ready to go,

Please don’t force it to be painful and slow.

Let me have fun. Let me be me,

And when that time comes, celebrate,

I’ll be free.

I’m too sexy…errr hairy…


This post was inspired by a WordPress friend. Please read her post here before continuing, it will definitely be worth your time. If you have never heard this song, watch the real version first, then click the karaoke version and have it playing in the background while you insert the lyrics here.

Occasionally I remake song lyrics into more meaningful expressions of daily life. This one is for you, Life is a Bowl of Kibble; although I, and probably many of you, can relate.

RealKaraoke 

I’m too hairy for my love
Too hairy for my love
Love’s going to leave me
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I’m too hairy for makeup
Too hairy for makeup
Look like a wolf pup
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
And I’m too hairy I should shave
Too hairy I should shave
Or hide in a cave
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
And I’m too hairy for your picture
Too hairy for your picture
No way I will endure
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I’m a woman you know that should mean
That I won’t get little hairs on my cheekbones
I’m a woman you know that should mean
That my face shouldn’t look like Sly Stallone’s
 
 
 
 
 
 
I’m too hairy for the store
Too hairy for the store
Won’t open the door
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
And I’m too hairy I should wax
Too hairy I should wax
Stop hair in its tracks
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I’m a woman you know that should mean
That my chin will not be sprouting black hair
I’m a woman you know that should mean
I wouldn’t have as much hair as a brown bear
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I’m too hairy for my
Too hairy for my, too hairy for my
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
‘Cause I’m a woman you know that should mean
Facial hair will make me start to freak out
I’m a woman you know that will mean
I will soon start to beg, cry, scream and shout
 
 
 
 
 
 
I’m too hairy like a cat
So hairy like a cat
This is worse than being fat
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I’m so hairy I feel sick
So hairy I feel sick
It’s so gross and thick
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
And I’m too hairy for this song
 
 

Beauty and Other Illusions


Although I recognize that there are some people in this world that one or maybe millions of people find attractive, this “beauty” thing has bothered me for quite some time.

My sister likes Harry Connick Junior…”likes” as in drooling all over. Just kidding sis. I just needed to prove my point by using you. Sorry. Personally I don’t think he is attractive at all, although he does have some talent.

I’ll admit that I have seen couples and wondered what they saw in each other (shallow I know…I don’t do it much now that I’m older). There have also been many people who might be attractive to one person,  but completely plain/ugly to another.

Sometimes someone might not strike me as beautiful right away, but as I get to know their personality, they become more and more attractive. The opposite is true also. Some beautiful people become disgustingly ugly based on how they act or treat others.

This pondering made me realize that beauty is actually an illusion. Something we see because we want to see it, like water in the desert. If beauty is an illusion, than ugliness is as well, because the whole idea of being ugly is based on a comparison to beautiful.

I don’t always act on this idea. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see what I want to see, but most of the time I see my imperfections. If you occasionally (or always) think of yourself or others as ugly or beautiful, like I do, maybe we need to start looking for some real refreshment and stop chasing mirages.

Some other things that I think are actually illusions are: worthlessness, inadequacy, and the feeling of being better than others. I understand that these might be real feelings, they are just not true feelings, so let’s not act on them.

Sorry this post hasn’t been funny like usual. I guess even us humorist’s have deeper thoughts sometimes.

Remember, everyone is beautiful in the dark 😉