I really debated whether or not to post this here but, whatever.


Thing is, I need people to see my struggles as well as my strength. I fell out of my chair. This video is me getting back in it. It gets way more graphic than I’m comfortable with because of the leggings I had on, but I didn’t want to fall out of my chair again in different clothes. So sorry. There is way worse porn out there.

Please, if you are not bothered by this video, go to my website: dyingwithstyle.org. I’m trying to change the world.

I’m an idiot


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I can be a touch impulsive at times. Mostly times involving my independence. Today (insert flashback music here)…

Setting: Family home, me in my power wheelchair, which has been flashing an ‘error, bad cable’ message for a few days. Feeling slightly better after my sick days, with a genius idea for supper. Husband won’t be home for a while and kids about to get out of school soon. Need a few groceries.

Act 1: Guess hubby won’t be back in time to pick up the stuff. Yeah, I know there’s that error message, but the stores only a few blocks away, I can make it.

Act 2: Screw getting dressed or putting makeup on. It will just take a sec and these pjs look like regular clothes./em>

Act 3: Ok, so it’s cold and rainy. Wear a jacket.

Act 4: Riding along, being careful. Turn onto a busier street with no sidewalk. About 20 feet down..,

Act 5: Wheelchair dies.

Act 6: Helpful strangers, city workers, neighbors, police officers, fire department, dropped and rescued glove (most romance I’ve seen in years ūüėČ ) etc.

Act 7: I’m home, one still flashing error on wheelchair, slightly less amazing dinner being prepared…

Grandma Got Runover By Some Rain Gear: Illustrated Version

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I think this is the favorite out of my remade Christmas songs, so I thought I’d make some pics to go with it. Now, please don’t be too harsh on the drawings, they are just for fun. Real…Karaoke Grandma got … Continue reading

Halloween


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Halloween and kids go together like peanut butter and jelly. A lot of adults are getting into Halloween now too.

Most of my readers know that I’m in a wheelchair, so I’ve been trying to think of some ideas that could incorporate the chair into the costume.

A few years ago I dressed up like a prisoner in an “electric chair”. It was fun and funny. Anyway, there are a lot of kids and adults in wheelchairs, and instead of just dressing up and sitting in a chair, here are some ideas to incorporate and decorate it.

Kids:

Prince or princess in a throne. (Could probably just buy a princess outfit and some shiny gold material to drape the chair in. Stick on Velcro is a good way to secure the material to keep it out of the wheels.

Jack in the box- dress torso in stripes representing the spring and wear white mittens and doll type face makeup. A large upside down box painted bright colors can be the box. You should use an additional piece of cardboard against the backrest like the lid. And make a tinfoil handle you could attach to the box.

If you are an adult, the jack in the box idea could be turned into a stripper in a gift box. Stuff tissue paper around your legs, and wear a sexy top with a large bow on your head.

That’s all I can think of so far. If anyone has ideas, feel free to share them in the comments.

I think I need an intervention…

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Don’t worry PMAO. This is not about the drugs. Fellow bloggers. My friends. I may need help. It has been three years since my last confession. What am I talking about? I’m not catholic. Okay, help please. I was starting … Continue reading

A Life Worth Living?


You would feel the same way if you saw the look in your kids’ eyes. When you can’t tell who is in more pain, you, or your wife watching helplessly. I know the arguments. I know the reasons. I used to believe them too. Believe them…hell, I preached them…

“Your life is not in your hands! It is appointed unto man once to die. Does that say it is appointed unto man once to feel sorry for himself? It is appointed unto man once to feel some pain? If God wanted you to take your life, he would have put an “easy” button on our bodies so we could check out any time the going gets rough. GOD is the one who decides. He can heal or destroy. Blessed be the name of the Lord in sickness and in health.”

Oh yeah, I believed it alright. I’ll never forget the pained look in Stephanie’s eyes after she talked to me about her mom…

“Pastor Bill, what if someone is hurting…scared…”

“You must believe. You must have faith. There is a reason that she is still here. Don’t give in to the temptation to take the easy way out. I know that it is hard, but God can heal! You can’t forget that. He can take her mind and make it sharp again. If he can stop the mouths of lions, don’t you believe he can give your momma some peace?”

“I know he can. He could…you don’t understand though. She doesn’t know who we are. She is scared of the nurses, driven to madness by the constant beeping. If she has a clear moment, she begs us to take her life. The only reason she is even alive now is because of the medications they pump into her.”

“I am sure it is hard. She needs you to be strong…”

We never did finish that conversation. That is the problem with being a pastor. There is always someone waiting in line to shake your hand and tell you “nice sermon”. She probably didn’t think I cared. I know I didn’t fully understand…

I do now though. How¬†the accident¬†happened, I still can’t remember, but I will never forget the look in my kids eyes when they realized I had just lost control of my bowels. The fear in my wife’s face as she realized that the church would only cover the immediate costs from the accident, not the costs of a few months of inpatient care, and a year, if I’m lucky of home health. “Health” in which I will be lucky to remember who my wife is, as the internal injuries slowly kill me. No one should have to watch their kids wipe their dad’s¬†ass or watch their wife give up her life to care for someone whose “life” isn’t really¬†living at all.

Hobbler’s note: I need to know any objections to assisted suicide. Also any views for it. I wrote that story as fiction, but there are many people in far worse shape than anything I can imagine. Please share your opinions. I was born to take this debate to the next level, and this is your chance to make a difference.