To be free


Today I chose to be free.

I shed my comforting skin for the exhilarating rush of the unknown.

I laughed at my fears and blew them away like a puff of smoke.

I decided I’d rather regret the chances I didn’t take than those I did.

I took a chance.

Sometimes taking risks pays off.

Sometimes it doesn’t. 

Today, I choose to be free.

I will take the moment and cling to it. 

I will savor each heartache and each victory, knowing they are neither good, or bad.

I will unburden myself from the expectations of others.

From the expectations of myself.

Today I choose to be free.

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Wonderful News!


Someone finally asked me why I want to die! It’s starting…

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I went to two of the stores I frequent most and asked if my dogs can use their stores as training grounds for becoming service dogs. I want our min pin imposter to be capable of opening manual doors, picking up dropped items, pulling items off the lower shelves in stores, and being good. Our smaller dog rides on my lap in stores and I would like her to be able to pull items off midrange shelves.

My hands are growing dangerously numb. Like don’t know they’re in the fire numb. Multiple sclerosis always affected me from the waste down until a few years ago when my fingers started getting numb. Now it’s both of my entire hands.

I’m probably going to have to invest in some Dragon Naturally Speaking software for writing soon, so prepare for lots of typos.

Anyway, so a store employee asked me why I want to die. I explained how I want to plan my death just like people do weddings or funerals. I explained that I would like to pull the plug before my kids are wiping my ass. The only arguments I can possibly conceive are all religiously based. Why the un-religious members of society haven’t already pushed for this is beyond me.

I also got a chance to talk to a neighbor about this.

Bottom line though, I desperately need a lawyer. Has to be pro bono, but the publicity alone will be payment enough.

I spoke with the city attorney about it, and will post more from that conversation later, but I have a much bigger plan that I definitely need a lawyer before I implement.

Th city attorney recommended I speak with lawyers who are used to dealing with wills and stuff. So, if anyone knows a lawyer who is open minded, wants interesting cases, and willing to work for publicity, please direct them to me.

Bedtime stories: about a girl


Once upon a time there was a girl.

I know, I know, no one wants to hear another story about a girl. All the stories that could possibly be imagined, have been, until some psycho like Jodi arias comes along with an especially gruesome twist, but never the less, I’m a girl, and like all the other stupid bitches, Who go off doing their self-absorbed shit, I’m writing it.

This girl believed in love. This writer isn’t sure.

One day the girl received a letter saying her long lost love was returning. She excitedly got ready and started tidying her home. She wanted everything to be right, perfect.

When her love returned, at first things seemed well, but soon the arguments started. She knew she needed to do more, and be more of a good love, for the feeling of love to stay strong. She tried. She could be better. More thoughtful. Less moody. Happier. She tried. She worked. She learned.

The writer watched.

As the household got more under control, and as thing began to flow more smoothly. Life did become happier and still manageable. Love was kind of shelved during this time of transition, and when the time came to reexamine the feeling, it was still there, although through the process the girl had learned that love is not free.

Love is forged between endurance and sacrifice. It is bathed in pain and bears many battle scars. It is not a commitment to be made lightly, nor an adventure to go on with improper preparation. Love is synonymous with pain. Love should be revered, and love should be feared.

Wise women would keep that in mind.

This writer will.

goodnight , sleep tight.