Funny: A bedtime story


 
He had never been popular. Tod was a normal looking kid who got average grades in his typical middle school. 

He wasn’t very athletic, nor one of those “bad boy” types who seemed to always be sneaking around with a cigarette or a girl.

The fact that girls seemed to go for guys like that, was almost enough to bring him back to the “girls are stupid” phase, except for her. Julie.

She had everything a 14 year old boy could long for and more. The only problem was that Julie was popular, aka blind to the rest of humanity, especially nobodies like him.

So Tod daydreamed about doing something amazing.

When the news segment was about a school shooting in Florida, he fantasized about being the kid who took the gunman down and saved the class.

If the weatherman mentioned the possibility of strong storms, he fantasized about leading Julie’s class out of a damaged school.

Even his dreams were about giving Julie the Heimleich maneuver or saving her from a distracted driver at the crosswalk.

He’d be the hero somehow. It felt like his destiny.

One year. 

In one year he’d gone from being unpopular to the most popular kid in school, and now, here he was reading a note from Julie, and she’s calling him her hero.

One year of tests, diagnoses, medications and hospitals was all it took to be a hero. Well, that and his life. 

He’d never imagined dying in a hospital bed before he turned 16, but he could feel it coming. Funny, he thought to himself.

What to do when you realize you are an idiot:


In light of recent events, I am re-posting this as a reminder to myself. First and most importantly; don’t panic. 98.875% of the world’s population will come to this realization at some point in their lives. If you don’t think … Continue reading

Proof against evolution


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Evolution is basically the idea that some single celled organism adapted, primarily through natural selection into humanity, right?

Hate to break this to you, but that theory has a fatal flaw.

Women’s menstrual cycle. Period’s. If evolution were true we certainly would have “evolved” a better way to rid our body of stuff; than a monthly river of blood.

Those boys in blue just won’t leave me alone.


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I got pulled over in my wheelchair again the other day. Nice cop. Very concerned. I was on the wrong side of the street, and he also suggested me changing the steady tone of my rear light to one of the flashing ones so I’m even more noticeable.

Of course I complied! As if I wouldn’t…

They all just want the crazy pothead wheelchair chick to be safe. It’s good. I like them looking out for me, cause soon I will be viral and need some extra protection. I think I know which officer I can talk into street dancing with me if I run into him again. Not literally run into him. I’m not insane, besides, he needs to be able to dance.

There are some other self-defense things in the works which should be interesting if nothing else.

I’m starting to create momentum in my town for all my pipe dreams. One day the world will notice and hopefully lives will be changed in a really good way.

The worst thing that could happen would be I make a few people smile, and if that’s all that ever happens, it’s good enough for me. On that note, enjoy your weekend.