Real – Karaoke Hide all the turkey And the mood food before my spirit falls again Still want some chocolate, But I’m too fat so diet really must begin Now… For I need a little weight loss; right this … Continue reading
Write him a book: The great thing about this idea is that you don’t actually have to write a whole book…your husband probably won’t read it anyway. Just write a few pages, dedicate the book to him, and then paste those pages into some romantic book like “Lady and the Tramp”. A new book cover and you are ready to go.
The Sleep Inducer: What! You haven’t heard of this? Well here is the link: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-4b
Coupon booklet: If you have children they have probably made you a few of these, but basically you just write a few “coupons” for housework or other things. The great thing about this gift is that after Christmas, your hubby will leave this book lying around somewhere. Before he gets a chance to cash the coupons in, just hide the book. Your husband will not want to get into a fight about how he could have lost the book you worked so hard on, so he will probably not even mention that it is missing.
A blow up doll: Not that kind…you and your dirty minds. One of those things that you blow up and then punch…it’s like a punching bag, but cheaper and easier to wrap. They come in all sorts of characters like Mickey Mouse and Sponge Bob. Your hubby needs something that he can take his frustrations out on and it can be a great workout.*
Bows: One of the great things about Christmas is that you can slap a bow on something and it suddenly becomes a gift. Bows can be conveniently stuck to almost anything that your husband seems to enjoy…guns, tv, money, body parts, etc.
Merry Christmas and Good Luck!
*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.
Real Version – Karaoke I am so blue, blue after Christmas. Chaos is through, we’re done with the big fuss. Decorations still up, but it’s easy to see I’m in no mood to, start taking down the tree. … Continue reading
Video – Real Lyrics I hung up on my bosses’ call; Somebody snitched on me. Was shopping online at the mall; Somebody snitched on me. I kept the call on hold to long Ignored it to … Continue reading
This time of year seems to usher in a whole new sense of believing…believing we are going to accomplish things that realistically are way out of our league. With this in mind, I thought I would make a list of resolutions I might actually be able to keep:
1. Embarrass my children more – Kids grow up fast these days; with all the hormones in our food and water. As parents, it is our responsibility to give our children something they can aspire not to be. Studies have shown that children who were regularly embarrassed by their family members, develop better coping skills and more resilience than kids from well-adjusted families.* The future of the world is in our hands mom and dad…let’s do our part to better society.
2. Develop a bad habit – According to a recent study, it is easier to stop a bad habit than it is to create a good one.* Next New Year’s Day, I plan on having at least 5 or 6 bad habits to resolve to stop.
3. Super-glue my mouth shut – Don’t you hate it when people resolve to be kinder? Or to not talk about themselves all the time? Some people even do silly things like resolving to eat less or stop eating unhealthy foods. When is everyone going to realize that super-glue can fix things will-power would never be able to? Why we squander this resource on merely fixing things is a mystery to me.
4. Exercise more – I’m going to exercise my delegating skills, exercise my remote control, exercise my right to vote, etc. By the end of 2012 I hope to have exercised my way to the top…top of the food chain at least.
5. Give to others – When making this resolution, it is important to realize that you don’t have to have a lot to give a lot. You can give people advice, give out the wrong number, give others a chance…to get out of your way, give your body odor to pleasantly scented rooms, and many other things. Many great leaders will tell you that they never would have made it in their field if it were not for people in their life telling them they would not make it. Who are we to withhold that observation from all we see who are struggling with something? Your harsh criticism might be what pushes them to become the best at whatever they are trying for.
If you have any practical resolutions, feel free to suggest them. By sharing our suggestions we can create accountability for each other and possibly become the people we hate to be around. Let’s do this!
*Any study or other thing suggested in this post is probably around somewhere in the world, but I didn’t actually find it…interactive blogging is my specialty, so find your own statistics.
Here is a bit of Christmas fun from my second grader. Try to guess which Christmas song each little picture represents. Get the answers here.
What, you didn’t know it was Columbus day? Your 3rd grade teacher would be so disappointed. As I was carefully observing the time-honored traditions associated with this fine holiday…in other words, dancing around with my favorite bottle of Jack Daniels … Continue reading