All I Want for Christmas is Some Apple Stock

Sis, this post is for you! Sing this to the tune of “All I want for Christmas”   All I want for Christmas    Is some Apple stock My sister really    Likes to talk.   Gee, if I had … Continue reading

Pity Party Starts Tomorrow

This is a quick reminder that the pity party starts tomorrow, and it’s going through Monday now. WIM2S and Mooselicker are in for sure now too. It will probably be the best blog experience ever. If it’s not, that’s one more thing to whine about, so either way it will be awesome.

Remember to check this blog out, but more importantly, have your own pity party on your blog and link here, so we can find you. Have fun…but not too much fun, or it will ruin the mood.

You’re Invited to the Party of the Year!

Next weekend, everyone is invited to the biggest party of the season. How do I know it’s going to be the biggest party? Because it’s a pity party! Have you ever wanted to share your burdens with the world? Do … Continue reading

Trifextra: Blood Sucker

Trifextra: On to this weekend’s challenge, which will be judged by the community.  The trickiness of this past week’s prompt has us thinking about the various ways we use words.  This weekend we want you to write a 33-word response using the name of an animal as a verb.  Some examples are: to dog, to snake, to bear, to duck. . .you get the idea.  Write about anything you want and use whichever verb tense you need, but give us an animal as a verb in there somewhere.  Let’s see if we can discover new things by looking from a different perspective.

I don’t know if insects count, but anyway…

You’d better watch out for her. She will mosquito around with your friends, sucking them dry, and leaving them hurt and bleeding. Probably with some disease too. Just like she’ll do with you.

To My Husb…I mean…To Mary I.

How do I love you?
Let me count the ways…

I love you for your words of praise,
While on my posts you thoughtfully gaze.
I love you for the way you work
To help me not feel like a jerk.
I think that you should make a blog
But such a blog, I’d probably hog
Because you are one badass chick
And on my blog, I hope you stick.
So I will write, to make you smile
And hope you stick around a while
I’ll write crappy poems, that are true
To tell you of my love for you.

Okay, I’ve got to say that although that is heartfelt, it is a little too sticky sweet for my tastes, so here is another love letter for you Mary.

Dear Mary,

I bet when I told you that I would write you a love letter, you probably didn’t believe me.

What is up with that? Of all the nerve! I’ll have you know that I am not a liar…sometimes…whether or not I am a liar is beside the point! You can’t just go around accusing people of lying and then expecting them to write you love letters! Only a fool would do that.

Or a fool might have assumed you didn’t believe her when in reality, you did. If you did believe me, then I am sorry. If you didn’t believe I’d write this, well, I guess I showed you; so there! (If you did believe me, I’m sorry for that last sentence too).

Love Hobbler

Better, but I was a little moody with that one. Last try:

Dear Mary,

Thanks for liking my posts, and commenting, for suggesting ideas for Trifecta, and playing along when I am being silly. You are one awesome reader.

Love Hobbler

OAA: Still Week 9

For the past few weeks, we have delved into the lives of the OAA members as Jerry holds them hostage. Continued from last week:

Jerry: Why did I even try asking you for your story? I should have known better than that. Alright Sue, let’s hear from you now.


Sue: Me? You want to hear from me?

Jerry: Your name is Sue right?

Sue: You don’t have to be mean Jerry. After all, I am the one who gave you a snack bar on your first day here. Anyway, you want to know my story, I’ll be more than happy to share it with you.

I never thought of myself as a overanalyzer. Some people had said some things about it to me before, but I always just saw it as noticing things. I don’t notice things like what the weather will be like, or if the stoplight is red, but I do notice the important things.

Like whether or not someone likes me. I never really thought of Bob that way until I noticed that he hit on me the first time I was here.

Bob: What? I didn’t…

Sue: It’s okay Bob. We might as well get our true feelings out, since this may be our last day here.

Anyway, when I saw that he was obviously attracted to me, I tried to think about whether or not I could like him in a deeper way.

Bob: Sue, you must have misinterpreted me. I never…

Sue: We don’t have to hide our feelings any longer, Bob. Don’t worry, I like you too.

Like I was saying, after thinking about it for a while, I realized that I could fall in love with him. Sure he isn’t the kind of man I am typically attracted to, but I need a change. Those men always end up being crazy, and finally I had found a nice guy.

Bob: Look Sue, I am glad that you think I’m nice, but if I have ever given you the impression…

Sue: That you are shy? Yes, I have noticed that, but every one of us has things that we find hard to talk about. It might have progressed faster, but our relationship would still be about the same, even if you had openly confessed your love for me.

Bob: Relationship? What relationship? Love? Are you kidding me?

Sue: Wow…I didn’t realize you were so sensitive. I’m sorry Bob, I should have talked about this in private with you, but since we both are fully aware of your desires, I didn’t think you would mind me talking about it in front of the group.

Bob: Please just shoot me Jerry…

Sue: There is no need for so much drama Bob. No one here will judge you for falling for me. Jerry and Bill have both had their own crushes on me, but we are all adults here.

Jerry: You are even more crazy than I thought you were.

Bill: I’ll admit it. I looked down your shirt once…

Sue: See, that is just the way it is Bob. Jerry is crazy in love, and Bill wants sex, but my heart is yours. Nothing can change that. Well, I guess if someone  kidnapped me and harvested my organs, technically they would have my heart, but you know what I mean right? I love you. Don’t you love me? You can admit it.

Bob: Sigh…what the hell. We are all about to die here. Sure Sue, sure. I’ve loved you since the moment you walked through those doors.

Jerry: Oh man, I could destroy you. Get a preacher in here, order some boxes of wine; funny stuff. Anyway, I’ve heard enough for now Sue. Who wants to order a pizza?

Everyone: I do

Jerry: That’s what Bob said. (Laughing) Alright, everybody pitch in. Joe, you can call if you promise not to call 911. (Hands Joe the phone)


OAA: Week 8

If you don’t know, OAA stands for over-analyzer anonymous. If you haven’t read any previous posts, they start here and are better if read in order.

*Scene opens with the sound of glass breaking.

Bill: Told you there was a side entrance, come on in guys.

Jill: Did you break a window in? You are such an idiot Bill! You know that they are still looking for us after what happened to mom and dad.

Sue: Um, maybe we should have just waited outside for Bob to show up. He would have called one of us. Probably me because, well, you know.

Cookie: Let’s hit the road Becky, it doesn’t look like there will be much of a party here tonight.

Becky: Sounds good to me. See you all next week.

Jack: (to Joe): pst. Hey man, it’s not your fault. Girls like that just are always looking for something to do. It has nothing to do with your freakishly long arms and legs. (to everyone) Hi everybody. I’ve got to say that I really enjoyed last week’s discussion. In fact, it stuck with me throughout the week. I think that Bob might be getting a little stressed out though…does anyone else think that? I mean, I am pretty good at picking up on some of the little things that other people don’t usually notice. Just like that glass over there. I bet when you came in, you weren’t so focussed on the glass, but I saw it right away because, like I said, I am good at notici…

Sue: Do you really think so Jack? Sorry to just interrupt like that. I was listening and then you mentioned that he might be stressed, so I started thinking about what I could have done to stress him out. I couldn’t really think of anything I did, so I tuned back in and I heard you say something about noticing…

Jack: It is okay Sue. I don’t mind being interrupted. Like my mom always said, you can’t interrupt if you don’t have anything to say. I didn’t usually have that problem though. For some reason, even when I was little, I was good at making observations. As my vocabu…

Jill: DO YOU TWO EVER SHUT UP! Shhhhhhh…listen…

*sirens sounding in the distance

Joe: Starts texting

Bill: Man, I told you they were tracking me! You know what happens next! Don’t take me! I’m not ready…(runs out front door)

Jill: Why did you break the damn glass Bill! You know we are wanted. (runs after him)

Jerry: (Outside the broken window) It wasn’t me man…I was just here for the snacks…Hey, don’t touch that cart…Where are you taking me?…I want a lawyer…

Bob: Sorry I’m late. I would have called, but since it was just 7 minutes after…What the hell…

Sue: (Runs up and hugs him): I’m so glad you are alive!

Jack: Hey, there you are. We were just talking about what could be going on with…