OAA: Week 7

If you don’t know, OAA stands for over-analyzer anonymous. If you haven’t read any previous posts, they start here and are better if read in order.

OAA: Week 7

Bob: Hi guys, welcome to this meeting. It seems as if our group has been pretty much established, so I think it’s time to move on to the heart of the problem. Overanalysis. What does that word mean to each of you?

Sue: Well, it has always sounded kind of sexy to me. Not like the word itself turns me on, but the idea of someone obsessing over me. Or me obsessing over someone else. That is ultimately what overanalysis is…obsession.

Jill: Um, thanks for that Sue. I totally agree, and I am not being sarcastic at all. Overanalysis is: to over think things to the point of it either being annoying or ruining your relationships with people. For example, I hate my parents, not because there was something wrong with them, it’s the disease. The problem was that as a child I had learned that there was much more going on than it appeared. They tried to get me to eat certain food, have time limits on everything, etc. It was all designed to torture and slowly kill us, but when I realized that was going on, I recognized that my parents were probably over-analyzers who felt that children should grow into some idea of humanity. Sad really, their overanalyzing led to the destruction of our relationship.

Bill: My sister is right about most of that, except our parents were actually aliens, dressed up like people. When I learned of this, I became a nudist for a few years, to prove that I was all human. It is kind of strange that aliens could have a human babies, but it is even more strange why the government is covering this whole thing up. It actually has to do with pudding and alligators, but it is a really long story.

Jerry: You are all out of chips man…

Becky: Hi everyone, this is Cookie, remember me telling you about her? Anyway, we just wanted to see if our stalkers followed us here.

Cookie: Look, they are over at that window. I also found this note on our car window: Watch out for voyeurs…weird.

Bob: Let’s try to stay on topic here. What about you Jack?

Jack: Thanks for asking. I have actually thought a lot about what overanalysis is. I think that it is definitely something that you are born with, although it can become worse as we age. It is weird though because every time I think about overanalyzing, then I notice something and get distracted by it. That might be what overanalyzing is, being constantly distracted by details that other people wouldn’t think twice about. Not that I would really know a lot about that.

Like I mentioned I am too distracted to become a overanalyzer, but Joe could probably tell you. He might not want to share though. Sometimes I think that he is a little too private. It is good to be able to be open and express yourself. I worry that he might be pushing all his feelings down in order to appear normal to the outside world. No matter how much he pushes that stuff down, he will still be a really tall Asian dude. There is nothing normal about that. He might as well start getting used to it. Like my mom always told me, we all have different addictions. Not like being tall is an addiction, but maybe he is addicted to obsessing about his height. Could he be addicted to a life of silent overanalysis?

Bob: How about we ask him…Joe?

Joe: Yeah um, don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but you all make me seem normal. Got to go, I have to make a phone call.

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Off Their Rockers

If you haven’t heard, Betty White has a show, where old people prank younger people. Genius idea if you ask me. Here is a clip:

Off Their Rockers Clip

The only problem is that although the pranks are wonderful, the narrative that Betty White does between the clips is not. She needs a writer…a really good one. Someone who can weave words into a dreamscape. Someone who can take a prompt from one writing challenge, and use it with any topic that the crazy writers in her life come up with. She needs me.

NBC, I am offering my services free of charge for a month, after which you will receive a discount. I love pranks. I love old people. I love to write. Don’t make me beg here. We could have a beautiful relationship. Please…I love you…you won’t regret it…

A Relaxing Moment With A Pessimistic Over-Analyzer

This relaxing moment brought to you by Bob McFarrin

(whistling) Here’s a little song i wrote, you might want to sing it note for note, don’t worry, be happy
in every life we have some trouble, when you worry you make it double don’t worry, be happy

Okay, but what if I don’t really want to sing it right now. I am actually having dinner…Wait, did he just say worrying will double my trouble?

dont worry be happy now dont worry be happy dont worry be happy dont worry be happy dont worry be happy aint got no place to lay your head, somebody came and took your bed, don’t worry, be happy

A little repetitive don’t you think? Are you kidding me? Someone took your bed and you are just sitting around whistling? Shouldn’t you be calling the police or something…be happy?

the landlord say your rent is late, he may have to litagate, dont worry (small laugh) be happy,
look at me im happy, don’t worry, be happy

Woah, hold on, your landlord is going to take you to court now. No, let’s not worry about that. Just sing while your credit goes through the floor…

i give you my phone number, when your worried, call me, i make you happy
don’t worry, be happy

Ummmm, really? You are going to give me your number…I could be an escaped mental patient for all you know.

aint got no cash, aint got no style, aint got no gal to make you smile but don’t worry, be happy
cos when you worry, your face will frown, and that will bring everybody down, so don’t worry, be happy

Thanks for telling me I’m a broke, poorly dressed loser who can’t even get a date. I really appreciate it. Now I am all that stuff, plus a downer for everyone else. Yeah, thanks…

don’t worry, be happy now…
don’t worry, be happy don’t worry, be happy don’t worry, be happy don’t worry, be happy

You are starting to sound a little like a broken record there, did your two-year-old write this part?

now there this song i wrote i hope you you learned it note for note like good little children
dont worry be happy

Well, that answers that question.

listen to what i say in your life expect some trouble when you worry you make it double dont worry be happy be happy now
dont worry, be happy dont worry, be happy dont worry, be happy dont worry, be happy dont worry dont worry be happy

Oh, wait, now I get it, you don’t want me to worry…just be happy…sorry it took 18 times to drill that lesson through my head. I’m going to go run through a field of flowers now…or jump off a bridge!

 don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t do it, be happy,put a smile on your face, don’t bring everybody down like this
don’t worry, it will soon pass whatever it is, don’t worry, be happy, i’m not worried

Sorry, sorry everyone, I didn’t mean to bring you down by not following this song’s instructions. I’m sure the death of my goldfish will pass in a few minutes and he will start shaking his tail to the rhythm of this song…I need a drink.

source: http://www.lyrics007.com/Bob%20Marley%20Lyrics/Don’t%20Worry,%20Be%20Happy%20Lyrics.html

I almost forgot to tell you…

You all do know that it is April Fools Day right? Just wondering. You also know that this is my favorite holiday…better than Christmas, right? I’ve talked about it for the past year. I’ve thought about it for the past … Continue reading

I almost forgot to tell you…

You all do know that it is April Fools Day right? Just wondering. You also know that this is my favorite holiday…better than Christmas, right? I’ve talked about it for the past year. I’ve thought about it for the past … Continue reading