Satan Cracks Me Up


I’ve tuned into a Jesus Devotee this year. He’s taken over all of my social media, and the rest of my life. I got saved as a child but after a life of trials had come to the conclusion that we were probably all right.

Then all the stuff earlier this year (see blog)and now I’m a Jesus freak, so, whatever. Anyway, back to Satan. He doesn’t like me because I’m so into Jesus, even though I love Satan too, in some ways.

God and me love everyone. Anyway, the other day he started messing with my ears. Now they ring all the time.

He thinks he can make me forget to tell everyone that Satan exists only in your head. It is hard, and I can’t do it while writing this because I’m looking at a screen.

When I’m done being my head to write, I’m going to tell my brain to shut up and to quit being such a narcissist. Then I’m going to close my eyes and be my body and soul. You can too.

Let’s just get this out there.


Everyone loves you and so do I. But there is no jealousy.

Because You are Oxygen. But our bodies are not only Oxygen. They are also full of self and the good and bad that is everyone.

We are mini You’s. With god complexes. Masters of “our” universe, which is actually Your Youniverse.

And You gave us a Way out. A skin of humanity. For the Designer of the Youniverse.

You made Your Skin die. To rescue the game. You made us a place. There is no greater name.

Thank you Jesus. I love you God. Your Spirit is the air I breathe and the water I drink.

Bedtime Stories: Pirates


20140414-220045.jpg

Mom, he won’t leave us alone!

What’s he doing?

He’s messing with our boat!

The swing boat? I see.

We told him to stop, but he won’t listen.

Oh no…sounds like you have a pirate problem.

Will you tell him to stop?

I need a little more information first. Does he have both legs?

Duh! Mommmm…

Is he wearing an eye patch?

Mom stop, he isn’t a pirate.

Well then, I’ll just let you two sort it out.

Okay, okay, he’s a pirate, will you tell him to stop?

Sure,
but…
uh oh,
this might be a problem…

What? What now?

Pirates don’t listen to their mommies.

12 Days of Christmas: Tattletale Twelve


Does anyone else think the “12 Days of Christmas” song is a little strange? Here are some more realistic lyrics.

Karaoke: (play in the background)

On the first day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He stuck his tongue out at me.

On the second day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

They are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the third day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the fourth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the fifth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

It is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the sixth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the seventh day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

They will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the eighth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the ninth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the tenth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

They made a big mess, she isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

He said “get out now”, they made a big mess, she isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my daughter said to me:

She called me whiny, he said “get out now”, they made a big mess, she isn’t helping, he grabbed it from me, they will not take turns, she won’t play with me, it is not fair, he told me a lie, she won’t stop, they are being mean, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

Blue Christmas: Last Remake of the Season


Real Version – Karaoke   I am so blue, blue after Christmas.    Chaos is through, we’re done with the big fuss. Decorations still up, but it’s easy to see    I’m in no mood to, start taking down the tree. … Continue reading