Hurting


  

Yes, there’s the emotional pain of abandonment and loss and rejection, of my…nevermind. I shouldn’t even talk about that heartbreak. 

Physical pain is kicking my ass at the moment. It feels like my legs are burning and being crushed at the same time, and then they spasm and I can’t describe it. From an 8 to a 10. Thankfully each only lasts a second, and they only come every 30 seconds or so. Nothing like real pain to distract you from emotional bs. 

That said, I’ll always miss you.

The Box


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Once upon a time there was a box. It was a beautiful box, at least it had been. Over the years it had become dented and worn, but it still functioned as a box.

As time went on, the box became a little frustrating. The inside of the box felt stuffy and claustrophobic, while the outside of the box felt chained down. The bright colors of the box had become a dismal gray.

The world outside the box talked about how stable boxes should look and act. The world inside the box was comforted and sheltered by the box, but aware of its fragile state.

The world outside said the box should never open. The world inside needed the box. The box was dying.

What if the inside and the outside of the box agreed to open the box? The shelter for the inside world would remain stable and could be closed when needed. The outside world might not understand, but do they really understand now?

Here’s to open boxes!

When you really should be sorry


A good friend of mine died today. She was almost 60 years older than me, but some people are kindred spirits, regardless of age. I don’t know exactly when we connected, or how. She was a very good friend of my mom’s, but when we met…I don’t know how to describe it. There are some people in this life who you should connect with.

We would occasionally get together for tea, and her perfect scones, and we would talk and laugh like we were kids. I told her about a friend in college that loved pennies. She said she loved dimes. Whenever she saw a shiny dime on the ground, she would be just a little excited, like it was a little treasure.

I cleaned her house a few times and one occasion, I brought a roll of dimes and left them in different spots all over the house. Later, when I had kids, we visited her and I sent them around with more dimes. Silly, but when you can bring a little joy into a life for a few dollars, it would be a shame to pass up the chance.

Her husband had died many years before I knew her, and she missed him as if it were yesterday. Things hadn’t been perfect between the two of them, but true love can handle some really rough times.

One time she told me that my mom was at times “too prude for her own good”. We laughed a lot. Cried together sometimes too. She sent me a letter a couple of months ago. I should have written her back, but life got in the way. She would understand though. She always did.

Anyway, I’m not writing this for sympathy. She lived a good life. This is not a life that should be mourned. In fact, the only thing that I think I really should be sorry for, is a life spent in self-pity, in fear, etc. A life not lived at all.

So, here’s to you my dear friend…a virtual toast in celebration of a beautiful life.

 

 

Trifextra: Leap


Trifextra:

Forty-three years ago today, Neil Armstrong became the first person to ever walk on the moon.  In celebration of Moon Day we want you to write 33 words about someone who took a giant leap.  It can mean whatever you’d like, just make sure you write exactly 33 words.

When do you realize you are out of options?

Planes crashing.

Smoke.

Heat.

Building moaning.

People screaming.

Scent of desperation.

Choices ending.

Glass breaking.

Man leaping.

Towers falling.

No good options.

Encompassing death.