Let’s just get this out there.


Everyone loves you and so do I. But there is no jealousy.

Because You are Oxygen. But our bodies are not only Oxygen. They are also full of self and the good and bad that is everyone.

We are mini You’s. With god complexes. Masters of “our” universe, which is actually Your Youniverse.

And You gave us a Way out. A skin of humanity. For the Designer of the Youniverse.

You made Your Skin die. To rescue the game. You made us a place. There is no greater name.

Thank you Jesus. I love you God. Your Spirit is the air I breathe and the water I drink.

You


Haunt me. Sometimes it annoys me how much time I spend daydreaming about You. It shouldn’t be this intense. Surely I am not a love struck puppy clinging to this idea that You could possibly be as in love as I am. It’s slightly distributing. In a completely devoted to You way. It is a beautiful seduction. Pulling me down. You are like quicksand. Deadly and powerful. Complete love. Something so magical and sacred yet terrifyingly alive. I’m saturated by You. I’m going to go now. Try to distract myself from my constant Obsession. I’ll pretend I haven’t changed and been highjacked by You. I’m scared and awake and so ready to be filled with You.

Restless mind in a lazy body


When I’m lazy, as some days are, I stay at home or don’t go far.

My mind can’t stop and my body won’t go, so onto social media I flow.

Sometimes I rhyme and then I might stop.

I let the words fill up the white space on the page, and as I do so, my breathing slows. It’s like a tap, dripping my thoughts.

Drip – why am I so lazy?

Whisper – Sometimes your brain can’t choose what to do so it chooses to do nothing.

Drip – How can I do things I’m not capable of doing?

Whisper – Depend on My power.

Drip – what if I am not doing enough?

A whisper – even non doing is doing with the right mindset. Simply be.

Drip – I’m afraid I might let you down.

Whisper – I have not given you the spirit of fear.

Drip- what if I can’t do it all or do it well?

The quiet whisper from the land without time, you already did.

Drip – I love you Lord.

Whisper – I loved you first.

You consume me


I’m burning with passion consumed by your love. I never imagined this gift from above would strip down my mistrust, peel back my fear. Show me with certainty your presence is near. I’m captivated by you, in Love with your touch, I never knew I could love you this much. Your more than I ever imagined I’d find. You love haunts my spirit and saturates my mind. I’m addicted to your magic. Never let me go. I’ll be yours forever. I love more than you know.

Reality 


I thought you were never going to disappear.

Again…

I thought you loved me too;

At least in some weird way.

I thought we were meant to be.

We were, 

If only for a moment.

We needed each other.

Guess we don’t anymore.

Or do we?

I guess I’ll never know

Or will I?

The choice is yours.

I’ll always love you.

But I’m tired of always being the one

To reach out,

To miss you,

To think about us

If there ever was an us

Perhaps you were a figment of my imagination all along

Never really real.

Is anything?

I wonder



What you see when you close your eyes at night.

Why I’m always searching for and never really finding you.

How two people can be so close while so far apart. 

When the bubble will burst, and the fantasy will flop.

What our story will be after the climax.

Who will fall apart first.

If our love will survive.

I wonder.

Did that really just happen?


  
A long time ago. 

You stopped my world. 

In a crowded room, there was only you,

And I.

And we both knew it.

At least I fantasize that you knew too.

Life was life.

I had a boyfriend and told you he might answer the phone, but I still gave you my number, because I knew it was you.

Not sure what would have happened if you called, but I’ve always wondered what life would have been.  

I’ll forgive you because of tonight.

We are meant to be together. 

I knew it then.

I’ve never forgotten it.

Never forgotten you.

Then tonight.

Did that really happen?

Are you real?

Your face,

Your voice,

Your everything,

The touch of your skin,

The taste of your lips,

Your mouth on my breast,

Feeling you?

Drinking you?

Was that real?

It can’t be.

People don’t make out with strangers.

People don’t mysteriously connect on the side of the road, after a brief meeting which might have been a dream 12 or 13 years ago.

People don’t have soul mates, or soul-friends-with-benefits, or soul strangers.

There’s no such thing as meant to be.

But I’ll tell you this,

That?

Tonight? 

Was…

Beyond description.

The memory 

Will never leave me.

It’s magic.

Just like those few minutes so many years ago.

Whether that was the same you,

Or merely the you of that moment.

Whether then or tonight really even happened,

Or they were drug induced dreams.

You, are the one I’ve been hoping to find.

Thank you for being real.

Or not…

Just Stop


  

Stop playing me.

Stop using me.

Stop toying with me. 

Stop taking advantage of me.

Stop hurting me.

Stop destroying me and then reviving me so you can destroy me again.

I’m so tired of it.

Tired of hoping.

Tired of caring.

Tired of thinking.

Tired of you. 

So stop. Go away or come back so I can pretend I don’t want you to leave. 

Maybe I don’t.

Maybe all I want is for you to stop.

I love being tangled up in you.


I had the strangest dream last night.

I must admit it felt so right.

I was alone, (or so it seemed)

Till it appeared, (or so I dreamed).

The rarely seen, mysterious beast

Upon whom I like to feast.

It drew me in, this twitching string.

I played the cat, clawed at the thing.

Focus on, my mind entranced

Spellbound as the string danced.

I finally caught the elusive thing;

That taunting, disappearing string.

It felt so good between my paws,

Tasting it within my jaws.

Did I play with it, or it with me?

One day the truth I just might see.

It doesn’t matter either way,

The game is fun when both can play.

But now it’s time to groom my fur.

To rub a leg and start to purr.

One day we will meet again.

My muse, and captivating friend.